Maidelitala sent this one along and I just had to share. Yes, it’s the latest product for those of you who always wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but haven’t figured out how to use your opposable thumbs to open that gosh darn jar.
Pre-sliced, individually packaged peanut butter.
I would link to the company’s site, but I think they deserve no promotion, only derision.
via: Thursday Night Smackdown.
We’ve talked a lot about crazy sandwiches here at ES,and one of my favorites I’ve ever heard of is the Southside Slope sandwich available at Pittsburgh’s legendary Fatheads sandwich shop: fried pierogies and kielbasa sausage topped with onions, American cheese and “horsey sauce.”
One of these days I’ll make it to Pitt to try this beautiful blue collar creation, but in the meantime I’ll have to content myself with my own knockoff version.
I had a couple of leftover frozen Mrs. T’s potato pierogies the other day when inspiration hit and I started emptying my fridge. Of course, when I empty my fridge, I don’t find things like American cheese and horsey sauce, but some odd slices of prosciutto and a little bit of herbed cheese. OK, I admit, as much as I talk about American food, I’m a pretty bougie motherfucker. But I also have to say, my classed-up Southside Slope–we’ll call it the Southside Park Slope–was pretty freakin delicious…
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We’re talkin’ ballpark food for this week’s Who Cooked It Better, inspired by the New York Times’ Travel Section. Food writer Peter Meehan had the enviable assignment of traveling to all 30 Major League Baseball stadiums and sampling their many edible offerings. Of course, this being the New York Times, the baseball food they cover is less beer and pretzels, more Champagne and edamame. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather not sample the eel nigiri while sitting in the bleacher seats. In fact, I’m pretty sure that half the things on the Times list would get you a bloody nose if you’re sitting anywhere outside the executive suites. I’m not saying you have to always go for that slimy boiled hot dog that’s been sitting in warm water for god knows how long, or the “nachos” that are served in a plastic bag. But if we’re going to call it America’s pastime, it must surely be consumed with some sort of food smothered in cheese, grease, and other glorious fatness.
So while the Times writes for the black AMEX crowd, we’ve been scouring the Times online commenters, who are weighing in on the less fancy eats that the story chose to ignore.
Here’s our alternative list (with many thanks to all the angry NYT commenters) of America’s greasiest, cheesiest, most heart-stoppingly amazing ballpark food. Read through to the end to cast your vote for the best.
Washington Nationals – Ben’s Chili Bowl Fully Loaded Half Smoke
Photo: This is Gonna Be Good
It’s unclear how the Times got through a visit to the new Nationals Park without smelling out the offerings from DC’s legendary Ben’s Chili Bowl. I’m still not sure exactly what half-smoke means, but hotdamn it is some kinda tasty sausage. Ben’s fully loaded version is topped with chili, chopped onions, grated cheddar and yellow mustard. Don’t even think about not siding this with some of the world’s best cheese fries.
Baltimore Orioles – Boog’s BBQ Sandwich
Photo: malliavale
Times commenters are up in arms that the article missed the pit smoked pulled pork sandwich offered at Camden Yards. You won’t find a brioche or baguette slice here – the plain old doughy roll is only along for soaking up the gooey Jack Daniels BBQ sauce. Bonus: It’s served up by former Orioles first baseman Boog Powell.
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When Hezbollah Tofu popped up on the scene a few months ago, we quipped that with Anthony Bourdain now occupied, Rachael Ray must be in search of a new nemesis. Well the queen of all B-list media hasn’t disappointed, nailing down a top-notch enemy: none other than right wing blogger Michelle Malkin.
Malkin is upset with RayRay’s latest Dunkin’ Donuts ad, but it’s not because she thinks sugar is making American kids obese (only nannying liberal ninnies would think something like that).
Michelle is upset because Rachael is shilling DD coffee while wearing a black and white paisley scarf that the Malkster points out looks almost like a keffiyah, the headwear previously popularized by such global celebrities as Lawrence of Arabia, Yasser Arafat, and um, Meghan McCain.
The keffiyah’s traditional role is to protect its wearer from the dessert sand and sun, although it has more recently become a symbol of solidarity with the Palestinian people. Oh, also, it’s just a fucking scarf.
As ridiculous as it is to suggest that the ad should be pulled because of RayRay’s neck accessories, it’s worth pointing out that Rachael Ray isn’t even wearing a keffiyah; she’s wearing a designer scarf. But to Malkin and others in search of terrorism at every corner, she might as well have changed her name to Rachael Hussein Bin Laden Ray.
Michelle Malkin demonstrates how much real Americans love donuts
Now we could all laugh this off as hilarious post-post-9-11 hysteria, expect for one rather disturbing fact: Dunkin’ Donuts has bowed to Malkin’s protest and pulled the ad in question!
You. Must. Be. Joking.
via SoGood
Congrats to last week’s Who Cooked It Better winner, Plaid Ninja, whose shot of Joe’s Best Burger was voted tastiest hamburger on the Internet. Anyone have Memorial Day burger stories to share? Do tell.
Moving on – if you are an American woman or gay male between the ages of 16 and 64, you’re fully aware that the Sex and the City movie premiers in theaters this weekend. And if you’re dating anyone who fits that description, you’re painfully aware of it. While I’m hesitant to promote the pop culture phenomenon that almost single-handedly turned my hometown into a stiletto-heeled amusement park, it’s safe to say this thing is gonna be pretty inescapable. Fortunately, Skyy Vodka has invented four Sex and the City cocktails to help us revel in the excitement and/or dull the pain. The only question is, which one of these sugary alkie concoctions should we whip up a batch of to get us through the weekend?
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In the top left corner is the Carrie, aka the New Cosmo, vodka mixed with mango nectar, lime juice, simple syrup and triple sec. Perhaps one step over the line from sickly-sweet to just plain sickly, but the dried mango garnish adds some trendy points.
Top right is Charlotte’s rich bitch drink. Frangelico, Amaretto, Godiva dark chocolate liqueur (who knew that even existed but I’m sure it is great), mixed with half and half and vodka. This one’s more dessert than cocktail, but it’s hard to imagine how it isn’t tasty
Bottom left is Miranda’s power-woman drink, which uses the mixer of the moment, pomegranate juice, plus campari, vodka and lemon. Still girly, but this one actually sounds like a real drink. Almost.
Last up is Samantha’s slutty syrup, which mixes vodka with tequila (really?), lime juice and simple syrup. That combo of alcohol sounds like a recipe for puking in your mouth, although as a food snob, I have to love the white pepper garnish.
Oh, and in case you’re not into the drinks-as-candy thing, there’s also a man drink, albeit a very girly man drink. The Mr. Big dulls up your whiskey shot by adding some vermouth and peach bitters. Strained through a martini shaker and served chilled.
All the recipes can be found here.
Photos: Skyy Vodka
Last week’s WCiB? squeaker ended well for Dinner with Julie, who took home the best eggs benedict crown with 44 percent of the vote.
Memorial Day is right around the corner and in these parts that means it’s time to get excited about one thing: burgers! And when we say burger, we mean BURGER – the real deal. No chickpeas, seitan, tofu, turkey, sweet potato patties or ground chicken allowed. Just good old fashioned cow slabs cooked over a fire. And the truth about burgers is you can stuff em, you can top em, you can goat-cheese-and-red-pepper em, and of course, you can cover em in bacon, but when it comes down to it, the basic, classic cheeseburger really can’t be beat. So for this week’s challenge, we’re going on beauty alone, scouring flickr to find the best lookin’ burger in America, whether home-cooked or photo’d from restaurants.
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Our first best lookin’ burger, in the top left, in the brioche-y bun, is from Dopiaza, who includes a full recipe on flickr. Dripping in cheese and topped with very thinly sliced red peppers, you can just imagine the perfect crunchyjuicy combo the first bite of this one would bring.
On the top right is Plaid Ninja’s photo of the Chipotle Bacon Cheeseburger form Joe’s Best Burger, an NYC joint I’m embarrassed to say I’ve never heard of, but surely will be visiting soon.
The bottom left amazingness is from oiseauxblue! Toasted wheat, mushrooms, gruyere, and fried onions – a salivating concoction indeed. No credit given as to whether this is from a restaurant or cooked at home, but either way, it’s a thing of pure beauty.
The last photo is from Adam over at A Hamburger Today, who offers a take on the famous Jucy Lucy from Matt’s Bar in Minneapolis; recipe inspired by John T. Edge’s Hamburgers & Fries. The simple idea is so brilliant it’s hard to believe everyone doesn’t do it – inserting your cheese into the patty instead of on top of it, creating a gooey, delicious mess.
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Endless Simmer has spent the past several months delving deep into the political world, in order to tell you which presidential candidate will ultimately be the most responsive to issues us food lovin’ folk care about. We have un-endorsed the candidates one-by-one, and you may have noticed that every single one of the candidates we un-endorsed quickly fell from contention. Remember Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Hillary Clinton? Neither do we!
Now that the primaries are nearing a conclusion, we’re ready to unveil our actual endorsement. After much agonizing, we have come to the conclusion that there is only one candidate with the ideas, convictions, and yes, cojones, that the job demands.
That man is Gene Amondson.
Gene Amondson is an artist, ordained minister, whimsical woodworker and the nominee of the Prohibition Party, which yes, still exists. Gene enjoys barbecues, fish and chips, tarts, and is even the author of an illustrated pie cookbook, which is available for sale as an e-book and comes with the amazing tagline:
“The best pies are runny pies, like kisses, the good ones are never dry.”
Hath truer words e’er been spoke?
Here, here, Mr. Amondson. Presidential hopefuls shouldn’t get away with writing quickie books about their political philosophy – they should have to tell us what they can cook! And we should note the pie recipes were handed down to Gene from his mother, and he gives her full credit (ahem, Cindy McCain).
But Gene Amondson isn’t just in the presidential race for the fame and the baked goods – he’s in it for the women. Gene is on the market for a first lady, and he’s got his list of qualifications all ready. Hey, if Dennis Kucinich can use the democratic process to find himself a hot lady, why can’t Gene Amondson?
While you might think our sometimes drunken ways would make ES anti-prohibition, Amondson makes some very convincing points, particularly when he is protesting outside Anheuser-Busch headquarters while dressed as the Grim Reaper. For example, who knew that from 1920 to 1933, when prohibition was in effect:
– Prisons and mental institutions emptied
– Cirrhosis of the liver was reduced by half
– It was the last time America balanced the budget
– In some states, illiteracy dropped from 49% to 2%
Pretty startling stuff, eh? I’d like to add a couple more reasons why it’s time to bring back prohibition:
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