Mitt Romney Loses Coveted Endless Simmer Endorsement


Not that he had much of a chance, but this makes it official. And it has nothing to do with the fact that he may or may not have seven wives, because we would totally vote for Bill Henrickson.

It’s his food knowledge we’re calling into question. Check out this video on Wonkette, in which the great Mormon hope visits the Greenville, South Carolina Chili Cook-off, and makes three unforgivable food faux pas:

1- How hilarious is his over-endorsement of that ice cream? Even for Mr. Optimism, he goes a little overboard there. I have a hard time believing it is really quite that good. He does everything but say “this tastes better than Jesus.”

2- When assaulted by three Hooters girls, Romney passes up a request to endorse their chili. Come on, now – this is an opportunity Bill Clinton never would have missed. Do you know how many Hooters Voters there are in Iowa, Mitt?

3- Finally, Romney is confronted by a giant banana. Mitt’s response: “What are you, a pepper?” What?!? Seriously, who can’t recognize a banana? How does that look like a pepper? Get yourself off the campaign trail and into the kitchen, Mitt. Disgraceful.

Stay tuned for future ES unendorsements. So far, Hillary is in trouble ever since she called us fat, but Fred “grits n’ bacon” Thompson is looking pretty good, assuming he stays off that diet.

Photo: The Onion.

You may also like


  • gansie November 9, 2007  

    from fred in SC:

    Gazing across plates with the remnants of grits, sausage, bacon, biscuits and pancakes, Thompson said in his trademark drawl, “mighty good to be back in God’s country.”

    “Folks knows what goes into a good breakfast,” the TV actor said.

    I was totally cracking up and then I got pisted. You’re telling me that the Jews in NJ/NY can’t produce an equally beautiful b-fast spread of begals, lox, whitefish, cream cheese, red onion, lettuce, tomato….

    WTF ?!?!

  • BS November 9, 2007  

    Clearly, Fred Thompson is an anti-semite

  • 80 Proof November 9, 2007  

    Gonna have to agree with Freddy T here on breakfast.

  • gansie November 9, 2007  

    80P – we’re on non-speaking terms!

  • Britannia November 9, 2007  

    Please, American’s don’t know what a good breakfast is. Just wait… You’ll see and taste and adore. And the other good folks who can’t taste, well you’ll be able to read about it. Watch this space!

  • JoeHoya November 9, 2007  

    Five words, Brit: Blood sausage and baked beans.

    Any culture that considers these “good breakfast” has no room to criticize.

    Any chance Romney thought he was a banana pepper? Maybe he’s a graduate of the John Mayer school of comedy?

  • Britannia November 9, 2007  

    Oh that’s right, whenever we bring up the breakfast the only thing you have is a “blood sausage”, I’ll give you that one… But don’t you make fun of the baked beans, they are amazing, esp. mine, I add a few ingredients in there to make them saucy-sexy!

  • BS November 9, 2007  

    hey stand up for the motherland, Britannia…I for one am down with the blood sausage fo shizzle.

  • Britannia November 9, 2007  

    Ah, what can I say… “blood pudding” is gross. I stand up for what I believe in, and that is the UK has some amazing dishes!, they just don’t belong to us!

  • 80 Proof November 9, 2007  

    Good breakfast requirements: Eggs, Pig, Biscuit. Anything else is optional.

  • BS November 9, 2007  

    I think that’s actually in the USDA handbook

  • JoeHoya November 9, 2007  

    You forgot one key food group, 80 – cheese.

    Add that to your three winners and you’ve got a little slice of heaven.

  • 80 Proof November 9, 2007  

    Point taken. But in my mind, I’d put down cheese in the “highly encouraged” category. I could be satisfied without it.

    BS- yeah, maybe we should make a breakfast pyramid in the shape of a pig.

  • BS November 9, 2007  

    what a great idea. there goes my weekend

  • Britannia November 9, 2007  

    Cheese – NO!

    Pig shaped pyramid, what is wrong with you people.

  • Vote for Hillary Online November 10, 2007  

    Mitt Romney doesn’t have a chance at all to win the presidency. If you want to check out a real candidate with real values, check out Hillary Clinton. You won’t be disappointed.

  • JoeHoya November 11, 2007  

    Ummm…did you bother to read the rest of these posts, VFHO? Or any of the others? I’m having a hard time picturing Gansie even thinking of supporting Romney.

  • BS November 11, 2007  

    Looks like we got ourselves a hillary-bot! endless simmer has really made it now.

Leave a comment