Endless Simmer - A Food Blog

My little sister, Sherry, just turned 21. Turning 21 is like a national fucking holiday, well at least with team gansie. My mom was so nervous about her doing something stupid that she couldn’t sleep the entire weekend. We’re that serious about our *legal* drinking. So for her birthday, I knew her friends would be supplying all the alcohol she needed, so I thought I could provide some sustenance.

As we all know, I can’t bake for shit. Well, that’s actually a lie. It’s unclear (well, until you read this post) if I can bake or not. It’s not that I can’t bake for shit, I just never never never bake.

Anyway, for the love of my sister, I decided to try my hand at the oven. Last time I sent her something - rice krispie treats - they were a total pain in the ass, but turned out well (I mean, they’re pretty foolproof.) This time I really wanted to challenge myself.

I’m not really friends with many bakers, except for DAD GANSIE and Mo Green. So I asked the two of them for some suggestions. I also emailed my high school ex-boyfriend’s mom. She’s an amazing baker, and I think the last time I made chocolate chip cookies was with her, like a decade ago. I asked her to think of something I could make that was

1. easy
2. delicious
3. would travel well.

And then Mrs. A had the brilliant idea of a GIANT COOKIE! The giant cookie cake would be

1. easy, it’s just like making regular cookies
2. clearly be tasty - its a cookie!
3. stay moister than separate cookies because there would be less surface area exposed to air

She also suggested that I buy a pizza round pan to bake the cookie on and to stop by my local pizza place (if only I still lived in Jersey…) to use one of their pizza boxes to ship the cookie. Fortunately, I’m a lazy shit and never threw out the big William Sonoma box from one of my birthday presents a month earlier, so I used that instead.

Take the jump to find out about my adventures in baking.

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No One Puts Cupcakes in a Corner takes the cake in last week’s Who Cooked It Better, racking up 61 percent of the vote for her dark chocolate bacon cupcake.

With Mother’s Day around the corner, I thought it would be fun to explore that ultimate brunch food, Eggs Benedict. Searching around the Interwebs for creative Eggs Benedict recipes was an appetite-whetting endeavour indeed, and I am just about ready to take a bath in egg yolk right now.

Of course, you can’t get too creative with the way you prepare this dish, as there are only so many ways to poach an egg, and hollandaise sauce is complex enough that it shouldn’t be trifled with. But here are four recipes that offer cool alternatives to the traditional Eggs Benedict. Yes, I know, getting creative makes it technically not Eggs Benedict, but these four recipes sound delicious, plus they are all friggin beautiful.

The recipe on the top left is from Jamie over at Cheese ‘N Things. Her “Eggs Jamie” has tastiness piled so high that hollandaise sauce seems unnecessary. The poached eggs are served on a bed of balsamic-upped arugula, which is mixed with crispy prosciutto and shavings of parmagiano reggiano, and the whole thing is topped with caramelized red onions. I love how instead of going for the money shot (runny yolk everywhere), she presents the egg just as it’s ready to burst. So much anticipation. Full recipe here.

The top right dish is from Julie of the Dinner with Julie blog, who, as you might gather, is chronicling a year in her kitchen. (Aside: Check out her bageleggs - how cool is that?) Julie’s Benedict uses a crabcake as a base instead of the muffin, and puts a cool spin on the hollandaise sauce with a lightened lemon-basil recipe. Complete recipe here.

The bottom-left Benedict is the traditionalist version, although it does make me think - I have never been served Eggs Benedict with a beautiful thick slice of Country Ham like Closet Cooking dishes up here. Usually you can barely taste the puny slice of Canadian bacon under the runny egg yolk and hollandaise, but this hunk of ham really completes the dish. Now this is one version that pays respect to the pig. Recipe here.

I stumbled upon this last photo over at Noshtalgia, who is noshtalgizing about “Italian Eggs Benedict” and points us to Lucahjin’s stream on flickr. Lucahjin put together this simple/genius creation - a poked poached egg swimming in a pool of tomato sauce and chickpeas. Brilliant!

So….

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Photos: Cheese ‘N Things, Dinner with Julie, Closet Cooking, Flickr user Lucahjin.

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As you all know, I’ve been having some beef problems lately. Shopping at the food co-op sometimes does this weird ethical conscious/healthy eater thing to me and has turned me off of big-farm, corn-fed beef, but I just can’t learn to like the grassy stuff.

Oh, and don’t worry, I’m still planning to shell out for that $30 grass-fed filet mignon, as you all ordered. Just waiting for the right occasion.

In the meantime, I decided to branch out and try the whole buffalo craze that everyone is talking about. Before we begin, a few facts about buffalo that I gathered in my research.

1- Bison/Buffalo: Same thing - well, for our purposes anyway. Bison is the correct name, and they’re not the same thing that makes buffalo milk mozzarella. But any meat you see in stores here - usually called buffalo, but sometimes bison - is just plain old North American buffalo, like from the movies.

2- On the Grass: There are no bison mega-factory-farms, so all these guys are raised on pastures, eating the green stuff (although many are “finished” on corn at feedlots, shortly before they make it to your plate).

3- This tip is from me: It’s good but it’s not cow. So don’t expect it to be. Think of it more as trying a totally new type of meat, not as a replacement for steak, because that’s just not going to work.

Full details of my dancing with the buffaloes after the jump.

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Jalapeno Cucumber Margarita
What’s that you say
Jalapeno and tequila
Together in a drink
The best of Mexican food and Mexican drink.

My friends and I were having a beverage at one of our regular watering holes the other day and we were discussing our favourite drinks. We had the usuals: vodka red bull; gin and tonic; bloody mary; and yes, even a beer. We then got to thinking about alternate drinks and the lifestyle that we lead. Our conversation turned to drinks that we deserved, a drink worthy of our existence. Have you not met me? Yes, my friends and I are that pretentious.

There are some restaurants in DC that provide some fun excuses of a drink. There is Domku with its Lemon Grass & Ginger Aquavits and the Aloe Sojutini at Mandu, but we wanted one to make at home on a Friday night. We pre-game high end, not just your average six pack.

A friend had recently returned from some Southern state trip, not sure where, but he had heard of a margarita with jalapeno and cucumber. As most of us are huge Mexican boys food fans we figured it would be a great drink to try. And it was.

The fresh taste of the cucumber combined with the heat of the jalepeno was a great combination; the fusion of the two created a unique blend of spice and freshness. For people who are not a fan of chilies this is something totally acceptable. I’m sure if stronger chilies were used it would change the taste but the main flavour properties would still be present.

Disclaimer: Two glasses of these will get you pretty drunk, or even very drunk!

Check it out after jump.

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My regular Sunday night get together was a little different this past week, as there was a birthday and for birthdays we always try to bake a cake. This week I was responsible for the task and I have to say, I’m no baker. I even messed up cookies out of a box last week. I asked the birthday man boy what his favourite cake was and amongst his list was cheesecake, AND HOW could I pass that up. Everyone knows that if done right it can be sex on a plate, even the gays I made it for! And what better way for me to make this cheesecake than to watch The Golden Girls on my dvr in the process. Yes, this is a very gay post but keep with me…

I figured the gays would like to know the fat and calorie count of the cake. I did some calculations of the ingredients and how many slices I would expect to get from the cake and well, it’s not looking pretty. I decided to tell the gays as they were eating this delight: each slice had roughly 27g fat and 360 calories.

Jaws dropped and I swear there were some people who were about to spit it out and one even looked ready to throw it at me - I’m talking about you 30MinuteAbs. But it was too damn good and they kept eating. You know you’ve struck gold when gays disregard fat count and calories for a sweet sweet slice of cake!

Strawberry Vanilla Chocolate Crust Cheesecake

Ingredients and how-to after the jump.

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Like I said in my first Passover post, I wouldn’t be getting any timely recipes to you. And as the holiday ended yesterday I’m just getting you a little something.

Now I have to say, this wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever eaten. But the below video will surely excite you.

The fairly common Matzah Brie (fried matzah) is like our answer to french toast. The matzah is torn in to pieces, soaked in water to soften, then the water is drained out as much as possible. Next, mix the matzah with eggs and milk. A lot of people make this sweet like french toast and add cinnamon and nutmeg and once fried, cover in *kosher for Passover* syrup. But I like my breakfast on the savory side: I seasoned it with salt and freshly ground black pepper and when it was fried, I topped it with cream cheese, raw onion and lox. I based it on this recipe.

The tricky part though, is flipping this creation so the top side is equally cooked and browned.

Check out DAD GANSIE as he flips the shit out of our matzah brie. This is best watched with volume.

Camera Works: gansie

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I’ve never been a ginormous fan of yuca. I’m not sure why, it just hasn’t come up that much. The only time I really ever see it on menus is as a side at Hispanic restaurants, but there’s usually a choice between that and either plantains or french fries, so I don’t think I’ve ever ordered it. No disrespect to the yuca, but that is some tough competition.

However, last time I was down in D.C. we all went to dinner at Mayorga Cafe, where there were no plantains or french fries at all, and the yuca fries were the only fried starchy goodness to be had. And let me tell you, they sure made me forget about french fries for the evening. Golden-crispy, not too oily, and with just a little more actual taste than spuds, I was hooked.

So even though I had NO idea how to cook with these, I grabbed one on a whim last time I was at the food co-op.

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Editors Note: By now, you may have noticed the comments by the former *lurker* miked. It took him a while to come around to the whole blogging thing, even though his woman, Edouble, is an ES contributer. So while miked will talk to me about recipes and now gChat about recipes, maybe one day we can get him on the blogging tip. You can spy on our virtual convo about omelets below. And, Maidelitala, don’t be mad miked stole your omelet thunder.

miked: have you every had a fluffy omelet?
i just made one and Maidelitala made them yesterday morning. i told her she should do a post.
1) separate yolks and whites
2) whip up whites till they get sort of fluffy/bubbly
3) pour fluffy whites into pan
4) pour yolks (if you like them) on top of fluffy whites.
5) put other omelet stuff there
gansie: yum! interesting…i never get that complicated w/ my omelets
miked: it doesn’t really take much longer—as long as you have the yolk-separating skills—you just do it while veggies, etc. are sautéeing.
gansie: and then for the omelet part
do you flip it to cook the other side or just put the filling in the runny-ish center?

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As most of you know, Passover is the time of year when Jews celebrate the liberation of the Israelites from slavery. Our ancestors had no time to leaven their bread before fleeing Egypt, so in their honor we forgo fluffy dinner rolls in favor of dry and flat matzah.

Now here’s what I don’t get - I love me some baguettes and brioches, but unleavened bread can be fantastic in its own right. Tortillas, flatbreads, crackers - none of these things need to rise, yet they are all way more delicious than simplistic and flour-heavy matzah. So yeah, I can handle unleavened bread, but why can’t we go with a more exciting variety? Naan? Roti? Ritz crackers? Wheat Thins? One of Rachael Ray’s crazy triscuit concoctions? What about pita? That one’s even Jewish. OK, so maybe I’m no rabbinical student, but as far as I can tell, each of these types of unleavened bread would make for an infinitely more exciting Seder table than matzah, without technically breaking the rules.

Many people claim to love matzah, but it’s more likely they really just love whatever tasty topping they put on matzah to cover up its meh flavor. Because it tastes like nothing, you can really put anything on it. There’s the grade-school-nostalgic peanut-butter-and-jelly matzah, the bagel-imitating everything matzah, even fancy-pants smothered-in-nutella matzah. In an attempt to unite my Irish and Jewish heritage, sometimes I spread an ample serving of Kerrygold over matzah. It’s delicious, but of course it’s really just the butter I love. There’s even a Passover game where the adults hide the matzah throughout the house and the kids spend the evening searching for it. Honestly, I think everyone’s hoping it never gets found.

Seriously people, if we ever want to be as big as the Christian holidays, we’re gonna have to come up with more than this second-rate Easter egg hunt. I mean, these people have Cadbury’s creme eggs for Christ’s sake - we can’t compete with that! I’m not trying to offend anyone, but it’s been a few thousand years now, and we really need to come up with a more exciting matzah.

Wait, wait, wait. Hold the phone. Forget everything I just said. I’m getting word that matzah can be made into candy. A-mazing.

Explanation after the jump.

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