Just in case you didn’t know, yes there is an entire pinboard about “LOL Funny Egg Jokes.”

You’re welcome.

(Pin by Shaddiff McKamie.)

Looks for a perfect Passover dessert? Or just a reason to get out of bed?

Check out these babies from Bakers Royale.

I’ve been a fan of coconut water for years. It’s basically nature’s Gatorade: super hydrating and full of electrolytes. So, what better way to improve upon it than by turning it into something hella dehydrating that saps you of your energy? That’s right, I’m talking about sweet, sweet alcohol. There have been some coconut water cocktail recipes popping up around the Internet, and now Three Olives has taken it one step further by introducing a Coconut Water flavored vodka. Three Olives clearly knows I am a connoisseur of both coconut water and booze, so they sent me this huge sample pack to review.

Yes, Three Olives Coconut Water vodka is Elvis-themed. Why? According to the press pack:

Three Olives Vodka honors Elvis Presley with this refreshing Coconut Water Flavored Vodka to celebrate his long standing love affair with Hawaii and his legendary style and groundbreaking performances that have transcended time.

Hm. Okay, I’ll take it.

They’re not kidding about the COCONUT smell and taste here. If you’re not a coconut lover, this might not be the vodka for you. But! If you love sweet, tropical drinks, this could be your new magic ingredient. To be 100% honest, I’m not sure what the difference between coconut vodka and coconut water vodka is, but oh well. I’m guessing they’re just riding the wave of the trend, and that’s fine. Anyway, here’s a cocktail two ways: the Three Olives version and my personal version. This is very sweet and coconutty, so cut it with some unflavored vodka and/or more soda water if you want it milder.

 The Elvis

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With spring weather (finally-maybe-is-it-really) coming to most of the country it’s about time to start talking gardening. Now, to put it nicely my cooking technique focuses on creativity and innovation at the expense of perfection and measurement, and my gardening experience, not surprisingly, has had about as much success as my baking repertoire. Which is to say…not much.

So I was excited to receive a shipment of Gro-ables, a foolproof new way to grow herbs and vegetables in your backyard, garden or kitchen. Gro-ables are ready-to-plant seed pods that come with a built-in environment for your seed. Each pod contains growing materials, plant food and seeds (basil, spinach, cilantro, dill, sweet peppers, cherry tomatoes and more). All you need to do is open the seed pod, drop it in some dirt and then water occasionally. Now that’s my kind of gardening.

With sunny weather on hand this week, I was inspired to get going with my Gro-ables — planting some basil, cherry tomatoes and lettuce on my windowsill. That in turn got me hungry for some fresh herbs and veggies, so while I’m waiting for those to grow, I took the basil I already had on hand, whipped up some fresh pesto and put together a new take on an ES favorite sandwich.

BLT Sandwich with Fresh Pesto, Mozzarella and Basil

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I was invited to the pre-opening tasting of the new Smashburger here in Austin. I’m not much for burgers (unless they’re really exceptional) or “fast casual” type restaurants in general, but I’d heard a fair amount about the Colorado-based chain and decided to check it out. I will say the burgers (ground beef, chicken breast, and black bean) were much higher quality than your average chain burger, but they were still greasy, decadent, meaty… burgers. They held nothing back at the tasting event; the pic above is only part of what I was given to sample. I only ate a bite or so of each, otherwise I think my stomach would have exploded.

It wouldn’t be springtime at Endless Simmer without at least one weird melon post from yours truly! We all know they’re my specialty. Seriously. Anyway, I was shopping at my beloved Central Market last weekend when I stumbled upon samples of what I thought were cantaloupe. Nothing out of the ordinary there. But! Rob pointed out the sign next to the display. “It’s not cantaloupe, it’s mag melon,” he told me. Mag melon?! I thought he was misreading. Turns out I was underestimating his reading comprehension; this was indeed mag melon.

Here’s what that little orange sign up there has to tell us.

Mag melon has a relatively short growing cycle and is grown in temperate climates. Its small seed cavity provides more value per purchase. It contains higher fiber, protein, carotene, and Vitamin C than that of a traditional cantaloupe.

So what did the sample taste like? Well, a lot like cantaloupe. It was very dense and sweet, not mealy at all (I can’t stand mealy melon, ugh) and we brought one home with us! If you see one at your local market, you should do the same. Can’t hate on an extra dose of fiber, protein, and Vitamin C.

I never really understood the fried chicken and waffles thing. Yes, they’re both delicious, but why on a plate together? Then I saw this monstrosity/brilliance. FC and W…on a sandwich. YES. See now that just works.

Recipe: The Candid Appetite

(Points if you can guess how they incorporated bacon in here.)