Endless Simmer - A Food Blog

T-minus 10 days, people! Turkey day is almost upon us, and if we know our readers at all, you’re still nursing Halloween hangovers/post-Election giddiness and haven’t even begun to plan for the big feast.

So lucky for you, ES has  come up with four delicious menus to guide you along. Now let’s be honest, there are enough effing sites on the Internet telling you how to brine a turkey and mash potatoes. And you probably know how to do all that shit anyway. But what about people who don’t want to do the same damn thing every year, who get sick of the same old sides, and don’t think adding rosemary to the stuffing counts as “mixing it up.” This one’s for you folks. Introducing Endless Menus.

One thing that’s always bothered me about Thanksgiving is that it doesn’t have nearly enough meat in it. For a celebration that claims to be the most American of holidays, it sure doesn’t include much of our favorite food group, does it? I mean, a giant bird and some vegetables? What country are you people living in? That’s not the America I know and love. For a truly pilgrim-loving Thanksgiving, toss the yams this year and cook up A Meat Lover’s Thanksgiving:

The Bird: Turkey Galantine

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you think you’re pretty badass for your annual turducken fry, dontcha? Big deal. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to stuff a duck in a chicken in a turkey. Why don’t you try stuffing ham, pork, veal, tongue, truffles, nuts, and three eggs up that hole? Then you can talk. None other than James A. Beard himself brings us this retro recipe, which calls for stuffing so many effing things in that bird that you actually have to take out all the bones, and much of the turkey meat. He even pulls the turkey breasts out, marinates them in cognac, and then stuffs those fuckers back in. Now that’s a badass bird. (Photo: MizD)

The Inside: Spam Stuffing

Sausage stuffing? No, no, no, people Don’t you read the paper? Spam is in this year! And there’s no better way to spice up your stuffing than with the South Pacific treat. Gingerjoy says: “Your guests will be surprised that the tasty flavor actually comes from this ‘mystery meat.’ Yeeeeeeeaaah. We can’t say for sure if that is good surprised or bad surprised, but we think we have an idea. Apologies to ninjapoodles for using your stock stuffing photo, but there is no known documentation of actual Spam Stuffing.

The Spuds: Bacon Mashed Potatoes

We’ve said it once, we’ll say it again, and we won’t stop saying it until we keel over face down in a pool of our own grease: There is nothing bacon can’t improve. And while mashed potatoes were pretty goshdarn good to begin with, the golden rule holds true here. It turns out quite a few folks have thought of this, but we’re particularly partial to Bon Appetit’s Bacon and Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes, because hey, you’re putting bacon in it, why not go for buttermilk too? A little lard couldn’t hurt anyone either. (Photo: Incase Design)

More meat-y menu ideas after the J.

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So DAD GANSIE and my mom go to this hotel piano bar every Friday night.  Nicky plays the keyboard and sings duets with other patrons.  Mostly songs from the 40s and 50s, I think.  My dad brings bags and bags of candy to give to all the older ladies and my mom hides in embarrassment.  My parents have become close with the regulars, including Nicky and his wife, Julie.

Julie cooks!  And Julie enters tons of cooking contests.  I forget how much she’s won, but I think it’s impressive.  She’s in another contest now - “Cooking with Smithfield” and DAD GANSIE asks that the ES community vote for Julie’s Chile-Cheese Stuffed Pork Chops with Ginger-Jalepeno Glaze.

So, listed to DAD GANSIE and go vote for Julie.  After the jump is her take on this crazy sounding glaze.

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So Alex got me this sweet crock pot for my birthday this summer, and I’ve been waiting months for a perfect cold Sunday to kick back and cook up some BBQ pulled pork.

Now before anyone gets all up in my face and yells that this is not BBQ at all (I’m looking at you, Tim), let it be known that I fully understand this is not BBQ at all, but merely a city kid’s indoor imitation of it. You might even call it cheating, but you had better not, because it took me 12 effing hours.

I searched around quickly for this, but the basic recipes (here, here, here) are all pretty much the same, with the only main argument about how long you should cook it for. So I went out to the supermarket and bought a giant pork shoulder, which surprisingly cost about 8 bucks - pretty great considering I’ve got a good 10+ meals coming out of this. The shoulder was so big that I actually had to chop it up a bit to get it to fit in the slow cooker.

Now, ya’ll might yell at me again ’bout this, but as much as I love pulled pork, I’m not a huge fan of the sauce. I often find traditional BBQ sauce too ketchup-y, and you know how we feel about ketchup. So instead I whipped up my own semi-hot sauce: Sriracha, white wine vinegar, worcestershire sauce, garlic, sugar, salt and pepper.

So I poured the sauce on my pork shoulder, set the thing on low and let it cook there for eight hours! I am not the most patient chef ever, to say the least, so as you can imagine I was a little antsy all day. I checked it after 8 hours, and, as one of the recipes recommended, at that point began to remove the fat. I felt like a pretty hardcore butcher chopping off fat.  The meat tasted good, but not quite as tender as I wanted, so I put it back on to simmer for another four hours. This of course meant I didn’t even get to eat it for dinner that night, but I was determined to get this one right…

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We know, we know, Halloween isn’t even over yet. But for serious foodies, it’s time to start thinking about the bigger picture. One of the best parts of fall is waiting for our November issues of the food mags to arrive, and seeing what kind of ridiculous, over-the-top spins they suggest we put on turkey this year. I mean, come on, it’s turkey. Everyone does it the same, right? Wrong! Check out what Gourmet and Bon Appetit have in store for your bacon-addled, fruit-enhanced T-Day this year:

On the left is Gourmet’s entry: Plum-glazed roast turkey with spinach, bacon, and cashew stuffing, and plum gravy. Yes, that’s right, Gourmet managed to turn “roast turkey” into a full 13 words. Since one of those words is bacon, we’re intrigued. On the other hand, the plum jam/Chinese five spice glaze sounds a little intense for good ol’ turkey. Check out the full recipe here.

Bon App, meanwhile, keeps it to a mere five words this year with their roast heritage turkey with cider gravy. But don’t worry, they incorporate the B-word in the form of bacon, dijon, and herb butter slipped under the bird’s skin. Mmmm. The rest of it is way more traditional, with a cider gravy base and an apple-veggie dressing. Points for restraining themselves. Although, like Gourmet, no explanation for why there has to be random fruit on the serving platter. Full recipe over this-a-way.

So, which fancy-pants advice will you be following this November?

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The moment all you pignoli nuts have been waiting for is finally here:  The results of the Endless Simmer Pine Nut Cooking Contest! Our judges have whittled down the numerous entries, but as usual, we just can’t make up our minds (our our bellies).

So we’re turning it over to you to decide which of our entrants should be crowned the Pine Nut Champion, walk away with a free subscription to La Cucina Italiana magazine, and earn a spot in the Endless Eaters Hall of Fame. We will present the finalists day-by-day and ask you to vote starting later this week.

OK, I’ll stop jabbering on and focus on that tasty photo above that I know you’ve all been drooling over while skimming the last two paragraphs.

Our first finalist is Lisa, the lovely blogger behind Dish-trict. Lisa takes on bacon-wrapped dates, which Brit told us about last week, and kicks them up a serious notch. (Sorry, Brit, but she used pine nuts!)

Lisa starts us out with some biographical info….

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A few weeks back I happened to be looking through September’s issue of Food and Wine Magazine, as I was searching for inspiration for a fall themed dinner. I came across this great recipe for chorizo-filled dates wrapped in bacon — I had to try it.

I’ve wanted to make this recipe for some time now but have not really had a reason to (like one needs a reason to wrap anything in bacon.) However, a friend of mine invited me to a presidential debate party last Friday and all the guests were required to a bring a bottle or food. I was at a loss on what I could make until I saw this; it was great. Prunes and dates are both drupes (thanks wiki) so I figured it was a perfect tribute, McCain was going to get eaten alive by Obama so it seemed fitting that I make these.

I didn’t follow the recipe exactly as indicated in F&W because this was a gay debate party and all dishes had to be free of fats.

Recipe post jump

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We’ve talked a lot about crazy sandwiches here at ES,and one of my favorites I’ve ever heard of is the Southside Slope sandwich available at Pittsburgh’s legendary Fatheads sandwich shop: fried pierogies and kielbasa sausage topped with onions, American cheese and “horsey sauce.”

One of these days I’ll make it to Pitt to try this beautiful blue collar creation, but in the meantime I’ll have to content myself with my own knockoff version.

I had a couple of leftover frozen Mrs. T’s potato pierogies the other day when inspiration hit and I started emptying my fridge. Of course, when I empty my fridge, I don’t find things like American cheese and horsey sauce, but some odd slices of prosciutto and a little bit of herbed cheese. OK, I admit, as much as I talk about American food, I’m a pretty bougie motherfucker. But I also have to say, my classed-up Southside Slope–we’ll call it the Southside Park Slope–was pretty freakin delicious…

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Editors Note:  Some of you may remember the controversial pics of beer can chicken earlier this week.  Well, in conjunction with clawing at a bird until only the carcass was left - we also devoured brats.  And serious brats they were, as we now have our friend Weber, a descendant of the great cheese making state, telling us how to really cook up a brat.  Enjoy his simple, yet brutally honest, directions.  And not to steal Weber’s thunder, but I’ll be posting about the concept of eggplant at a tailgate in North Carolina and what I made with it.     

Wisconsin Beer Brats

Johnsonville Brats (or fresh ones from Farmers Market)
beer (Old Style or any cheap kind,  i.e. Milwaukee Best Light)
1-2 onions (big chunks are fine, peel the layers)
2 cup, roughly pickle juice (serves as a water base and adds flavor)

For Good Results:

Combining the beer, onion, pickle juice, & brats in a kettle and boiling on the stove for 20 minutes will yield “good” results and add tons of flavor.  You then can put beer and onions in a container with the brats to let them soak if you are bringing them to a tailgate.

For Best Results:

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Britannia’s Note: This past Wednesday was my fifth year anniversary of moving stateside, so what better way to celebrate this then to head to the newest Gastro Pub in DC, Commonwealth, for opening night. My friend managed to get the best seats in the house, the only table next to the window looking into the kitchen, which was amazing. It’s like having a TV in the restaurant; don’t expect much conversation other than “oooh, what’s that, I want to try that” or for one particular dish, “WTF is that?” referring to the roasted bone marrow and parsley-shallot salad .

The food was really good, lots of dishes to choose from including an array of veggie options. We had the chips and Welsh rarebit to start. I would have maybe added the Scotch eggs to that too as they looked awesome. For the entree we all ordered something different to have a tasting. I’d recommend the Cornish beef and pork pasty as a real local English dish or perhaps the London broil. Oh, and the green bean casserole was fantastic (my friend liked this so much he ordered a dish to go). There are some items on the menu that I have never heard of, such as the frog in a puff — I couldn’t even tell you what that is. I think one of the main differences I noted from this food over traditional English pub fare was the quality — the meat in the pasty was excellent, unlike a traditional pasty in which you really won’t know what meat you are eating. But I guess that’s why they call it a gastropub!

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