Trends - - Page 45

by BS

Attention Crazy People: Obama Is the New Jesus

I’m not sure exactly what makes this happen, but there is something about history’s great inspirational, controversial figures that causes them show up in some yokel’s milkshake, tortilla or toast.

I have previously expressed my love for the Notorious BHO, and have even enjoyed his namesake beer and ice cream products on occasion. I have not, however, started seeing his handsome mug in my breakfast foods.

This Southern California man has, and he details a pretty fantastic (and by fantastic I mean, made up) story about how the Hillary Clinton campaign appeared at his door in an effort to silence the great toast apparition of 2008:

Yesterday morning my wife asked me if I wanted toast for breakfast. I said “sure.”

Now I wish that I had never said that…

Getting a Chip Off My Shoulder

Eating out Mexican is one of the few true values in New York’s getting-even-more-ridiculous dining scene. Every borough has cheap, genuine, hole-in-the-wall spots like Tulcingo Del Valle in the neighborhood I grew up in.

That’s why I’m supremely disturbed by the emergence of quasi-upscale Mexican restaurants. I’m not saying Mexican people aren’t allowed to be fancy, but um…I still want the cheap, giant portions, of flavorful food. I mean, that’s half the point, right? No one has ever decided on Mexican dinner because they’re not especially hungry. And this fancified Mexcian food scene has brought a truly unwelcome development: chips and salsa that must be paid for. In money. #$!%@!

This will not stand.

Everyone in my new hood, Fort Greene, talks about two Mexican joints: Pequena and Bonita. I’ve eaten at both of these now and they serve decent, if not exciting food that falls short in three crucial aspects:

– Small portions

– Lack of spice

– Served by white people

Basically, everything a Mexican restaurant should not be. Seriously, is this Brooklyn or Kansas? What’s going on here?

But here’s the kicker: both places CHARGE for chips and salsa. This is just untenable. Free chips and salsa is like a golden rule of eating out. It’s half the reason I usually choose Mexican. It is just expected, OK? If I walk into a Mexican restaurant, and don’t get that basket and bowl placed in front of me without laying down an extra $4.50, well, I think you get the point – I won’t be happy. Frank Bruni says an empty wine glass is his version of restaurant hell, well no free chips and salsa is mine.

So I recently ate at a well-reviewed Mexican place in SoHo called Cafe el Portal. This place was pretty cool – teeny underground restaurant, genuine menu, Mexican-owned and operated. Although a little overpriced, it had some crazy dishes I could get behind, like a chile relleno covered in pomegranate seeds. While this inventive menu distracted me for two to three minutes after sitting down, I soon noticed something off. There was just a certain lack of greasiness on my hands and spiciness in my mouth.

Maybe I Am A Little Fruity

At a work conference last month I had a food breakthrough. Usually at conferences there’s terribleness: dry fish, boring chicken, well-done beef and enough half-empty plastic water bottles to fill a city dumpster. And while this latest outing surely contained those components, it also proved to open my horizon, or whatever that cliche is.

In college and shortly after, I only ate Caesar salads. Only. I liked them with grilled (or fine, breaded and fried) chicken and hard boiled eggs, but no croutons. I don’t know, the crunch bothered me and they’re so hard to get on the fork. Oh, and sometimes I’d take it in a wrap – the only real variation.

But, I’m growing up. I now add grains, avocado, red peppers and I don’t know, a million other things. But I just couldn’t handle the F-word: FRUIT.

Blackberries – love them, strawberries – love them, grapes – love them. In salads – never.

But then I went for it.

With the force of BS (and his pro-fruit agenda) behind me, I chose the mandarin orange and cranberry salad over mixed greens rather than the tired Romain. And I can’t lie, it was fabulous. The little bits of mandarin became a pop of flavor, letting the light vinaigrette mingle in the background with the assortment of cucumber slices and carrot shreds. Now I can’t say I’m a total convert, but once in a while I will worship to the alter of fruity salads.

in Trends / Veggie 2 comments

by gansie

Maybe You Shouldn’t Be Such a Hungry Man

You know those Hungry Man commercials. It’s like, oh, only wussies eat salad or whatever. Okay, that was a bad impression, but I think you know what I’m talking about. The whole notion that MEN need a pound of food is sexist and unhealthy. Not to mention completely fucking wrong.

So it was nice to see Men’s Health feature the 20 worst foods found in restaurants, plus suggestions for alternatives. Vanity is in.

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Photo: Scritchy Pictures

in Rants & Raves / Trends 5 comments

by gansie

In Defense of Falsified Cheese

Editors Note: I don’t know if you could tell, but here at ES we love ~~exploiting~~ acknowledging our friends’ love of food, even if it is radically different than what we’d eat. Here is Maidelitala explaining her new found love of fake cheese. Refresher: Maidela is a long time vegetarian and recent lactard.

I found it!

I found a soy cheese that actually (1) tastes good (2) tastes good sliced on crackers and (3) tastes good melted – yes, a soy cheese that can melt! Now I’m obsessed with it: Soya Kaas. It makes me miss REAL cheese a little less. Oh and it’s frackin fat-free!

Soya Kaas comes in various flavors… The fat free “mild cheddar” variety, sold at Yes! Organic – and apparently Whole Foods – was the first one I got up the guts to try. Mind you I am a REAL cheese lover. I go crazy for some Cheshire cheese, cream cheese, extra sharp Cabot cheddar, blue cheese, manchego….

I miss it, but god it’s just not worth the sick that’d follow…

The Soya Kaas is really quite delicious sliced and served on garlic flat bread or a baguette right out of the fridge (I’ll try it on grilled cheese this weekend.)

I just bought the jalapeño flavor and it also comes in “mozzarella” style. Supposedly it freezes really well too. Go figure.

And, I talked to my friend who has been a lactard – like I am – for a while about my discovery and she said, “Oh I love Soya Kaas. It is the ONLY soy cheese I buy.”

This — from a woman who will periodically go on dairy binges even if it will tie her to the toilet for the next three and a half days — is a ringing endorsement.

in Cheese / Trends / Veggie 7 comments

by gansie

Hippy Gourmet

When I first started cooking I loved watching all of the Food Network shows. I have to admit it, RayRay’s constant repeating of the same phrases and lessons did actually help me learn a few things (and some not-to-dos).

But I soon grew tired of those highly-stylized personalities and started checking out alternative shows. Public television is really where it’s at. That’s where I found the Hippy Gourmet. Read on.

And watch this.

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Photo: Hippy Gourmet

in Food Travel / Personal / Trends / TV / Veggie 8 comments

by gansie

ES Op Ed: To Veg or Not to Veg

Editors Note: ES first heard of Evo Diva through my journey to another world, but I’ve known she’s been a food enthusiast for much longer. Enjoy her peer-reviewed rant.

As a non-evangelical tree hugger, I feel a quiet sense of responsibility to convert to vegetarianism. After all, over half of the water and over 70% of the agricultural production in the U.S. is put toward raising livestock. As with most things, America’s consumption has gotten out of control. Besides, cows are just so damn cute – what did they ever do to deserve the slaughterhouse?

However, as an evolutionary biologist, I know that our species is not at its supreme fitness when sustained on a diet lacking in animals. If veggies don’t do their homework, they might not be getting essential B12 and D vitamins that are easily obtained from meat. Vitamin D is important for calcium absorption and strong bones. B12 is important in proper brain function. Other studies have shown that infants nursing from vegan mothers will not develop properly. Our ancestors might have subsisted on fruits and nuts, but our species evolved on the motto: “Variety is the spice of life.” While our teeth structure still is best suited for fruits, our most striking difference from other animals is our brain size. Along with B12, protein is essential for neurological development. A likely scenario is that our ancestors were obtaining new sources of protein in animal food options and were able to grow larger brains.

So what’s a hippie like me supposed to do? While true vegetarians agree that going halfway doesn’t count, I would argue that it is my only option. Choosing cage-free eggs, free range meat, and eating vegetarian 4-5 days of the week is my way of reconciling this inner conflict and pissing off people on both sides of the fence.

in Eggs / Fowl / Rants & Raves / Red Meat / Trends / Veggie 3 comments