T.G.I. Super Tuesday

The former foodie frontrunner wonders what he failed to eat.

The presidential campaign is heading into its biggest day yet, and across the board, the candidates are still ignoring the food vote. We’ve said goodbye to Rudy Giuliani, whose brave attempts to eat his way into power were thwarted when his ill-conceived strategy to bring out the Florida Jews ended in a miserable failure. At least one foodophile is ready to speak the hard truth: he should have gone more Ashkenazi.

Yet the remaining candidates have left this blog’s editorial board uninspired. Seriously people, Thailand has already made history by placing the “Thai Emeril” at the seat of government, is it so much to ask for some statements on your caviar policy? If this keeps up, we may have to start a Draft Bourdain campaign. Or at least Carol Mosely Braun.

While these shortcomings are depressing, we feel compelled to give you a few more updates on the field, given the enormity of today’s contests:

– Obama is looking perhaps the most foodie-licious, as he actually received an endorsement worded “We’re not just Wonder Bread, here. We’ve got pumpernickel; we got whole wheat; and we got rye.” Gotta love it.

– Meanwhile, the already-unendorsed Mitt Romney cemented his position as the Wonderbread candidate of choice by stopping into a Florida KFC last week and digging into a hunk of chicken – after REMOVING THE SKIN. Food sin alert! Come on man, you can get a heart attack just by looking at a KFC, you think peeling off the skin is gonna save you? Looks like someone just lost the Kentucky vote. Oh, and all the other states too.

Sorry folks, but with the candidates ignoring our issues, Endless Simmer is going to have to hold off on making our long-awaited endorsement.

However, on a purely personal basis, I’d like to remind all of our readers living in New York, New Jersey California, Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Colordo, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Kansas, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Missouri, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Utah, American Samoa and overseas, to get off you fat asses for a minute and represent for my homeboy.

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  • JoeHoya February 5, 2008  

    Gun Toting Liberal’s point is valid, but it’s a bit skewed. If you read the post they linked to, you’ll see that Obama’s $200 paid for two Kobe burgers, two organic chicken sandwiches, and one order of Dover sole. That’s $40 per person, assuming 5 people were eating, and four of those $40 meals were just sandwiches (two of them were organic chicken sandwiches, which probably cost about $15 each). Kobe burgers? What a waste of great beef (though it probably wasn’t authentic Kobe anyway)!

    The Clintons’ $1530 order got them 20 entrees as well as “salads, sashimi, rock shrimp and various side dishes.” Sounds like an actual meal for her senior campaign staff – and it’s about what you’d pay for the same quantity of food in DC or Chicago, nevermind what you’d pay for it in New York.

  • gansie February 5, 2008  

    as the OTHER EDITOR in this blog, i’d like to encourage VOTING in general. and get ready DC, MD and VA – our votes might actually matter next week!

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