Snack Time - - Page 10

by BS

Top 10 Stocking Stuffers for Foodies

OK fine, we realize no one is likely getting us any of these outrageous food gifts this year. But here are a few last-minute ideas for some cheapo gifts to toss in your favorite foodie’s Christmas stocking or Hanukaa lederhosen.

10. USB Flash Food Drives

Is that a watermelon in your pocket or 350 megabytes of digital information? We think these nifty USB drives — which also come in hamburger, sushi, and strawberry — might just make us hungry all day long, but what a great idea to treat the food blogger on your list to.

9. One Click Butter Cutter

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like “here’s a way to control how much butter you eat.” But if one of your loved ones has an unfortunate tendency to eat the whole stick, you might want to consider one of these handy butter portion control devices, which ensure you get just one little pat each morning.

8. Bacon Bubbles

For those of you who treat your pet dog less like a companion and more like an amusement, you’ll enjoy watching Fido (or BS) jump around the room for hours on end chasing an endless stream of bacon-smelling bubbles. Honestly, I think this might actually be a torture device.

7. Barack Obama’s Favorite Chocolates

We know you’ve got at least one on your list — the creepily obsessed hope-monger who shrieks with joy at the mere mention of anything Obama-related. (OMG did you hear who’s being considered for deputy undersecretary of agriculture? I totally can’t even believe it!) The Haphazard Gourmet Girls point us towards Barack’s favorite sweet treat — the smoked salt caramels dipped in milk chocolate from Seattle’s Fran’s Chocolates. Guaranteed to bring you one step closer to Barackutopia.

by 80 Proof

Friday Fuck Ups: Bad Avocados?

Just look at that lovely picture above. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

I know you are thinking to yourself, what is something like that doing on Friday Fuck Ups? How could something fried suck so much? Add the fact that what is inside that fried oil casing is avocado and feta cheese.

Hate to break your collective hearts, but these were downright terrible. The complete sad tale after the jump.

in Cheese 14 comments

by BS

Holiday Snack Alert

– Did you ever say to yourself, ‘man, chex mix is such a damn good snack, I don’t think it could possibly get any better?’ Well it did. If you know me at all, you have one guess what the secret ingredient is. [SF Gate] (via Serious Eats)

Photo: Hellospuntnik

in Bacon / Holiday 6 comments

by BS

The Top 10 Most Outrageous Holiday Gifts for Foodies

I’m sick and tired of reading about ideas for recession-era holiday gifts. We have one little global financial meltdown and all of a sudden we’re all supposed to do our Christmas shopping at Family Dollar? I don’t think so. This is Christmas! The season of greed and gluttony! The time for Americans to dig ourselves into a financial, spiritual, and health hole so deep that it lasts until Spring. Christmas is no time to start cutting up our credit cards and pulling ourselves out of this financial mess.

The “experts” keep telling us we’re in this recession thing for the long haul, so what harm could one more season of unnecessary overspending do? In that heartwarming holiday spirit, may we present the Top 10 Most Outrageous Holiday Gifts for Foodies, celebrating the best in kitchen presents that are insanely overpriced, shamelessly unitasking, and utterly, completely necessary.

10. Dough-Nu-Matic Automatic Dougnut Machine

I love America’s favorite fried cake treat as much as the next staunch patriot, but donuts fall firmly into the category of things we should not be allowed to make at home. Especially in a gizmo that “automatically forms, fries and drains delectable mini-doughnuts in just 50 seconds!” This is just not right. I am envisioning a dark future in which a nation of 1,000-pound Americans never leave home, unable to lure themselves away from the glazed goodness that is automatically shot into our mouths every 50 seconds. Also, I really want one of these.

9. Aerogarden Elite Garden

I want to be a good locavore, I really do. It would be so great to have fresh basil and lettuce and tomatoes all growing in my backyard. But it all sounds so…dirty. Not anymore. This do-it-yourself (but don’t do much) kit comes complete with a ready-to-go package of seeds, is automatically set to adjust for the most appropriate lighting, and doesn’t even require soil (WTF? How?) It even alerts you when your plants need to be watered. Good luck explaining to the DEA officer that it really is oregano.

8. Peanut Butter of the Month Club

OK, so January is creamy, February is chunky, but what comes after that? I’m really not sure, but if peanut butter is the next thing we’re supposed to get food-snobby about, count me in! This gift features 12 “limited-production, specialty-flavored peanut butters from boutique peanut butter producers nationwide.” Who knew there was even such a thing as a “boutique peanut butter producer?!” For the low-low price of $215, you can spend the whole year telling your friends that you’re really into raspberry white chocolate peanut butter, cinnamon currant peanut butter, or truffle foie gras peanut butter laced with PCP! OK, I made that last one up but the others are real. Amazing!

in Bacon / Desserts / Drinks / Holiday / Lists / Pig / Red Meat 35 comments

by BS

Endless Menus: A Candy Fiend’s Thanksgiving

We’ve already told you how to put more meat in your turkey-day, but it’s also come to our attention over the years that many of you see Thanksgiving not as a holiday that needs baconing-up, but more as an extension of Halloween. From candied yams to maple-glazed turkeys, to sugar-coated green beans and of course, more desserts than would even be conceivable on any other day of the year, Thanksgiving is a great time to load up on the sweet treats. But how? That’s where we come to your rescue again, dear readers, with our Endless Menu for A Candy Fiend’s Thanksgiving:

Breakfast: Candy Turkey

I know a lot of people like to skip breakfast Thanksgiving morning in order to save room for the big meal. This is going about it all wrong. You’ve got to expand your tummy to get ready for the feast. Think of it as warming up for a big race. You’ve got to do some light eating first. So start the day off with a festive fruit snack, which instructables helpfully teaches us how to turn into a candy turkey.

The Bird: Coca-Cola Glazed Turkey

Everyone’s always looking for a glaze recipe that sets their turkey apart from the neighbor’s, and what glaze could be more American than Coca-Cola? Farmers haven’t figured out how to grow turkeys that taste like Coke just yet (I think the Texas State Fair is working on that one for next year), but thankfully, you can just douse your bird with the brown stuff before sticking it in the oven and it comes out all glistening and sweet. (Photo: bucklava)

The Side: Marshmallow Sweet Potatoes

Yeah, you people snickered at the Coca-Cola turkey, but then you remembered you already do this, huh? Picking up in the grand vegetable-hiding tradition where green bean casserole left off, sweet potatoes smothered in marshmallows is perhaps the most bizarre of all T-day traditions. Somehow, just because the spuds are a little sweet themselves, that suddenly makes it OK to top them sky-high with hoof-candy. Kinda odd logic, but you won’t hear us complaining. (Photo: kathryn_rotondo)

Follow the jump, sweet teeth…

in Desserts / Drinks / Fowl / Holiday 5 comments

by 80 Proof

Return of the Dark Side

There’s a new health craze sweeping the nation. Well, ok, it’s really just sweeping our apartment. We have decided to forgo anything that might resemble a healthy snack.

For a while there, Gansie and I would slice up an apple, maybe throw in some cheese if we were feeling crazy. Whatever was bought that week at the farmer’s market was fair game. Fine, this is a bit of an exaggeration, I still ate my chips and salsa at least 8 times a week and it’s not like we were on the South Beach diet or anything. But recently we’ve really tilted back to the dark side…

in Cheese / Recipe 4 comments

by gansie

Hott Links: RIP Nacho Queen

As clear nacho fans, Endless Simmer wishes to celebrate the life of Carmen Rocha, the woman credited with bringing this staple snack to gringos everywhere:

For a special treat Rocha sometimes went into the kitchen and made her customers an order of nachos, an item not included on the menu. She followed a recipe she learned in San Antonio, where she grew up, layering tortilla wedges, shredded cheddar cheese and slices of jalapeño pepper, warming the dish in the oven. Before long she had requests from all over the dining room and her nachos were added to the menu.

Thank you, Carmen, for showing the world that melted cheese truly changes lives.

Carmen Rocha dies at 77; waitress credited with introducing L.A. to nachos [LA Times]

link via Maidelitala’s boyfriend
Photo: LA Times

in Celebs / Cheese 2 comments