Top 10 Stocking Stuffers for Foodies

OK fine, we realize no one is likely getting us any of these outrageous food gifts this year. But here are a few last-minute ideas for some cheapo gifts to toss in your favorite foodie’s Christmas stocking or Hanukaa lederhosen.

10. USB Flash Food Drives

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Is that a watermelon in your pocket or 350 megabytes of digital information? We think these nifty USB drives — which also come in hamburger, sushi, and strawberry — might just make us hungry all day long, but what a great idea to treat the food blogger on your list to.

9. One Click Butter Cutter

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Nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like “here’s a way to control how much butter you eat.” But if one of your loved ones has an unfortunate tendency to eat the whole stick, you might want to consider one of these handy butter portion control devices, which ensure you get just one little pat each morning.

8. Bacon Bubbles

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For those of you who treat your pet dog less like a companion and more like an amusement, you’ll enjoy watching Fido (or BS) jump around the room for hours on end chasing an endless stream of bacon-smelling bubbles.  Honestly, I think this might actually be a torture device.

7. Barack Obama’s Favorite Chocolates

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We know you’ve got at least one on your list — the creepily obsessed hope-monger who shrieks with joy at the mere mention of anything Obama-related. (OMG did you hear who’s being considered for deputy undersecretary of agriculture? I totally can’t even believe it!) The Haphazard Gourmet Girls point us towards Barack’s favorite sweet treat — the smoked salt caramels dipped in milk chocolate from Seattle’s Fran’s Chocolates. Guaranteed to bring you one step closer to Barackutopia.

6. Fetus Cookie Cutter

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Speaking of liberal celebration, what better way to mark the anticipated repeal of the global gag rule than with these adorable fetus-shaped cookies? Tasty!

5. Snap Capps

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It’s a lunchtime disaster we’ve all encountered. You snap open a can of soda, chug half of it and then realize that your over-sized sandwich didn’t exactly leave room for an entire Pepsi. But you made the mistake of not getting a bottle, so now you’ve got to either down the entire thing or throw away the rest of it. Oh no you don’t! Not with Snap Capps, which let you turn any opened soda or beer can into a resealable, transportable bottle.  Talk about genius.

4. Grill Charms

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Everyone has their own method for keeping track of  whose drink is whose at holiday parties, whether with those cutesy little wine glass charms or a crudely-drawn sharpie likeness of yourself on a keg cup. But what about keeping the meat straight? These handy little gadgets let everyone mark their steaks or other grill items with indications like rare/medium rare, not too spicy, or keep away from the veggies.

3. Miracle Berry Fruit Tablets

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You know the trendsetter on your list wants in on the magic taste-changing miracle berries, but if they (ahem) don’t have the gardening chops to make the plant thing come through, just hook them up with some of these insta-miracle berry tablets, now available at your local sketchy Chinatown hole-in-the-wall.

2. Ice Cream

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Nothing funny about this gift, but how can you go wrong with the gift of ice cream? Ben and Jerry’s finally finds a way around the age-old dilemma of how to stuff a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough into a Christmas stocking. Just use these ingenious holiday coupons. If you’ve got someone who won’t appreciate this gift, then they’re just not worth shopping for.

1. Bacon Toothpicks

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The only problem with bacon is that its salty delicious taste only stays in your mouth for a matter of minutes!  But now you can make all your favorite bacon meals last just a little bit longer with this fantastic set of bacon-flavored toothpicks. Don’t let anyone ever tell you bacon never did anything useful!

Previously on ES:
The Top 10 Most Outrageous Holiday Gifts for Foodies

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14 comments

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  • gansie December 23, 2008  

    i like that butter clicker. i wonder if they have one for cream cheese. i show no freaking restraint when it comes to schmears.

  • Yvo December 23, 2008  

    gansie, I saw your sad schmear the other day with tomatoes. I was amazed that was all the cream cheese you put on there (and almost commented to that effect). Hahahaha. I do know someone who can use the butter clicker though, he puts so much butter on his toast. The worst part is that he switched to some fake butter crap “to be healthy” and puts a ton on his toast still – I keep telling him, if you eat a moderate amount of butter, it’s healthier for you than eating that ton of chemicals… sorry, big gripe there. Anyways…
    I love these ideas and have emailed them to everyone, too bad they’re just going to yell at me for hinting too hard *sad face

  • Yvo December 23, 2008  

    Oh! and those miracle berry tablets are, um, poison… so let’s not go there.

  • gansie December 23, 2008  

    re: cream cheese
    i just scraped that on to get the picture over with. i ended up adding about double that when i was actually eating it.

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  • iWalk December 24, 2008  

    I love the Bacon Bubbles. I think my doggie Leo will love it too!

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  • Laura December 21, 2009  

    The grill charms seem like a good idea until you realize that you would probably want to cook your meat on both sides… Would 2 charms be required per piece of meat? Also I have a feeling they would fall out.

  • erica December 23, 2009  

    i really really need a fetus cookie cutter. that is genius!

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