Endless Menus: A Candy Fiend’s Thanksgiving

We’ve already told you how to put more meat in your turkey-day, but it’s also come to our attention over the years that many of you see Thanksgiving not as a holiday that needs baconing-up, but more as an extension of Halloween. From candied yams to maple-glazed turkeys, to sugar-coated green beans and of course, more desserts than would even be conceivable on any other day of the year, Thanksgiving is a great time to load up on the sweet treats. But how? That’s where we come to your rescue again, dear readers, with our Endless Menu for A Candy Fiend’s Thanksgiving:

Breakfast: Candy Turkey

I know a lot of people like to skip breakfast Thanksgiving morning in order to save room for the big meal. This is going about it all wrong. You’ve got to expand your tummy to get ready for the feast. Think of it as warming up for a big race. You’ve got to do some light eating first. So start the day off with a festive fruit snack, which instructables helpfully teaches us how to turn into a candy turkey.

The Bird: Coca-Cola Glazed Turkey

Everyone’s always looking for a glaze recipe that sets their turkey apart from the neighbor’s, and what glaze could be more American than Coca-Cola? Farmers haven’t figured out how to grow turkeys that taste like Coke just yet (I think the Texas State Fair is working on that one for next year), but thankfully, you can just douse your bird with the brown stuff before sticking it in the oven and it comes out all glistening and sweet. (Photo: bucklava)

The Side: Marshmallow Sweet Potatoes

Yeah, you people snickered at the Coca-Cola turkey, but then you remembered you already do this, huh? Picking up in the grand vegetable-hiding tradition where green bean casserole left off, sweet potatoes smothered in marshmallows is perhaps the most bizarre of all T-day traditions. Somehow, just because the spuds are a little sweet themselves, that suddenly makes it OK to top them sky-high with hoof-candy. Kinda odd logic, but you won’t hear us complaining. (Photo: kathryn_rotondo)

Follow the jump, sweet teeth…

The Greens: Candy Salad

Every Thanksgiving table has to have a little salad somewhere; it’s like a rule or something. But the rulebook never said what kind of salad, so this year we plan on serving one made entirely of candy. Cakespy has the dirt on how to get this done.

The Cranberry Sauce: Cranberry Fruit Jellies

Seriously – who eats the cranberry sauce? Nobody. But ya’ got have it on the table. So avoid the jarred crap this year and sub in some cranberry candy. Bon App’s got your recipe.

The Drink: Pecan Pie Martini

Why wait ’til dessert to get your daily corn syrup intake when you can drink it straight through dinner? Yup, it’s the pecan pie martini, the perfect complement to any holiday family get-together. This sickly-sweet recipe comes from — can you guess? — the sickly-sweet goddess herself, Rachael Ray.

Good carb-loading, team. Who wants to run a marathon Monday?

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