Your Mom’s So Fat, She Wrapped Her Burger in Bacon

I’m shocked to be alive and writing this to you. Not only did I somehow survive the liver assault that is SXSW, but I also survived the most intense burger I’ve ever eaten.

Your Mom’s Burgers in East Austin specializes in cute language (condiments are called “bling”) and huge burger patties stuffed with all sorts of rich deliciousness, named after celebrities. After an afternoon of day drinking in the sun, I was starving and ready for some meaty indulgence.

I treated my arteries to the Willie Nelson: a 1/2lb burger stuffed with American cheese, tossed in honey BBQ sauce, wrapped in bacon, topped in a giant onion ring, covered in more special BBQ sauce, and served between two slabs of Texas toast. A cross shot:

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Welcome to Austin: Thai Breakfast Tacos

As I’ve mentioned many times, I am from Seattle. Exciting news, though — I got offered a restaurant media job in Austin last month! So guess who’s a Texan now?! Yee haw! This means one thing for Endless Simmer: Tons of AMAZING Texas/Southern food coverage! You’re welcome. I do it for you.

It’s no big secret that Texas is full of great Mexican food. I mean, hello, we’ve all heard of Tex-Mex! There is one delicacy special to Austin, though, that I find especially appealing: the breakfast taco.

Sure, you can find Mexican-inspired breakfast entrees everywhere. Huevos rancheros and fast-food breakfast burritos are not exactly culinary revelations. But there is just something about the Austin breakfast taco! Ask anybody in this city. The concept is simple: head to your local taco stand in the morning (Austin is teeming with them, and they’re all delicious), but instead of your average choices of fillings, you can choose from eggs! Potatoes! Cheese! But don’t worry; the usual suspects (chorizo, avocado, refried beans, etc…) are also available.

Today is my first work morning and naturally I needed to find the perfect “welcome to your new food life” breakfast. Luckily my offices are very close to a little coffee shop called Thrice, which is connected to a Thai cafe/market/culinary school. This means not only does Thrice offer Austin breakfast tacos, but they are Thai-fusion breakfast tacos! WHAT. Just to reiterate, that is a combination of Mexican and Thai. My two favorite ethnic cuisines.

A fluffy, slightly spicy Thai omelette mixed with tomatoes and grilled onions, perched atop a fresh flour tortilla and served up with a smoky-sweet Thai chili hot sauce. I think I’m gonna like it here.

Deep-Fried Avocado = Love

It’s no secret that we love avocado here at Endless Simmer. We also love ridiculous fried things. Hell, we’ve even attempted a marriage of the two, although the results were not pretty. As a dedicated ESer and food lover, I’m always on the lookout for yet more avocado creations to embrace, and I just experienced something that will forever change the way I look at sandwiches.

At Gourmands in East Austin, sandwiches are king. And by “king” I mean “GIGANTIC.” I took a chance on my arteries and ordered the Second Deadly Sin: Smoked turkey, bacon, swiss, fried avocado, sprouts, and pesto.

Yes, fried avocado!!! See that crispy, brown thing in the bottom left corner of my mountain of sandwich? FRIED AVOCADO.

I know it might not look like much from this picture, but I assure you, this is a thing of wonder. The best qualities of fried shit: crisp texture, warmth, salty grease — combined with the best of avocado: creamy, cool richness. Smashed onto a ton of meat. What’s not to love?! I hope more restaurants jump on this bandwagon.

 

No Flip-Flopping: The Perfect Waffle

Editor’s Note: Lisa Fox, owner of FINO restaurant in Austin and blogger at For The Love of Food, shares this recipe for FINO’s perfect waffles. The secret: yeast, proofed overnight, for a waffle that is perfectly crispy on the outside, light and airy inside, and full of flavor all around.

Goodnight Waffles

The night before:

Combine and let stand 10 minutes…
½ cup warm water
1 tablespoon sugar
1 packet active dry yeast

Stir in…
2 cups warm whole milk
½ cup melted butter
1 teaspoon salt

Beat in 2 cups flour until smooth…

Wrap bowl tightly with plastic wrap, let stand out on the counter overnight.

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America’s Best New Sandwiches — 2012

You want sandwiches? We got sandwiches. Last year, Endless Simmer’s post on America’s Top 10 New Sandwiches was our most-read story of 2011, and even helped turn The New Luther into a bit of a sell-out phenomenon. But America’s sandwich artisans haven’t stopped innovating, and we haven’t stopped salivating. So here we go, for your drooling-at-work pleasure, this year’s list of America’s top 10 craziest, loveliest, cheesiest, most creative new sandwiches.

10. The Noble Pig —  Noble Pig Sandwiches, Austin

Texas may be best known for its beef, but perhaps not for long, if chefs John Bates and Brandon Martinez have anything to say about it. Their year-and-a-half-old Noble Pig serves up a namesake sandwich that somehow combines everything that is beautiful about pork products on one truly outstanding sandwich. Tender pulled pork, spicy slivers of ham, and crispy bits of bacon are all mixed together, topped with provolone cheese, and served on toasted, house-baked bread, for a porky trifecta that hits all of the spots. (Photo: Marshall Wright)

9. Pane et Panelle — Bar Stuzzichini, New York

Chickpeas may get typecast as functioning only in falafel form, but it turns out balls aren’t all they can do. Panelle is actually an old Sicilian street food snack—chickpeas and flour formed into light, airy strips and fried in olive oil. Stuzzichini‘s sandwich revives that classic and perfects it, layering crispy strips of panelle on a sesame-studded bun, in between levels of soft ricotta and caciocavallo cheeses. The result is a light-but-addictive sandwich that will make you curse every overly dense falafel wrap that has crossed your lips.

8. Chicharrones Banh Mi — Ink Sack, Los Angeles

There are a million banh mis in American nowadays, but we were most swept away by this version from Top Chef champ Michael Voltaggio. At his new Ink Sack sandwich shop, tender slices of pork belly and pork butt are topped with pickled vegetables, plus the kicker — crispy chicharróne fried pork rinds, creating one incredible multi-culti pork bomb.

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Everything’s Bigger in Texas (Including the Tacos)

Texas. Land of Shiner Bock, queso, beef, dry rub BBQ, and Mexican (okay, Tex-Mex) food. Truly one of my favorite places to chow down. I visited Austin and San Antonio at the end of September, partially to join the 10th Anniversary celebration of Austin City Limits, but let’s be honest, also partially to eat everything I set my eyes on.

I’ll go ahead and admit it, authentic Mexican is great but my heart truly belongs to Tex-Mex, something of which my hometown of Seattle has very little. I knew I had to take advantage of Texas while I could, so one day we headed to the Hildebrand area of San Antonio to a little…establishment…well.. fast food-ish shack imaginatively called Taco Taco.

Quite the luxurious digs, eh? No matter, everyone knows that some of the best food comes from some of the most unassuming exteriors. I took it as a good sign. Speaking of signs, inside Taco Taco there are multiple signs and banners proclaiming that they were named “Best Tacos in America” by Bon Appetit (a bit of internet research informs me this honor was bestowed in 2007). It has also garnered a fair amount of recognition from various Texas publications over the years, so I had to see if it could live up to the hype. Plus I just have a very tacky propensity for needing to try anything proclaimed the biggest, best, most famous, etc…. So I knew I had to go for it and order the taco that made Taco Taco famous: the El Taco Norteño.

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Top 10 Things to Eat Before the End of the World

It’s no secret that May 21, 2011 is Judgment Day—the end of the world—as so eloquently articulated (or do we mean ridiculously predicted?) by Family Radio Worldwide’s Harold Camping. Here at ES, we think the best solution to eminent annihilation is to indulge at one of our favorite foodie destinations. And if some of us survive, at least it’ll be easier to get a reservation.

10. English Pudding All Night

The stickiest way to finish up your time on Earth is at the  Three Ways House Hotel in Gloucestershire, England, where they have created the Pudding Club, an “end of the world” experience where you can indulge in a tasting of no less than seven puddings, from oriental ginger to jam roly-poly, and even stay the night in a pudding-themed bedroom. Talk about going out with a bang.

9. Salt-Baked Fingerling Potatoes with Bacon Butter and Anchovy Mayo

Chef Megan Johnson at Elsewhere Restaurant in New York City has created a deceptively simple dish combining the best of all things fatty, starchy, salty and creamy—all the palette pleasers you’ll miss when forced to live on dirt and ants if you’re lucky enough to survive.

8. Mexican-Style Street Corn with Cotija Cheese and Ancho Chile Powder

Austin’s La Condesa restaurant not only serves up more than 100 varieties of blue agave tequila (an essential for pre-Judgment Day partying), but also offers this signature south-of-the-border street corn side dish. If the world really were ending soon, we’d start covering every vegetable we eat in cotija cheese and chili. (Photo: Shelly Roche)

7. East Mountain Pork Live Paté

A beautifully decadent house-made paté is accompanied by onion confit and rye toast at Mezze, a classic bistro and bar nestled in the Berkshires with views straight to heaven. (Photo: Gregory Nesbit)

6. 1949 Chevalier-Montrachet Maison Leroy

Our bomb shelter of choice would have to be the St. Regis Deer Valley’s wine vault, stocked with more than 1,000 different rare labels. Acclaimed sommelier Mark Eberwein recommends popping one of these 60-year-old whites for your last night on earth. (Photo: My Wines and More)

Next: Top 5 Things to Eat Before the End of the World

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