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Burns My Bacon: Whipped Cream at Mickey D's

Public Service Announcement: The Shamrock Shake is back!

While other stores stock up on Easter Candy and the new summer line, McDonald”s is proactively celebrating a true holiday: St. Patty”s Day. Other than Irish Car Bombs, there is nothing better than a Shamrock Shake on a not-so-near-Spring day. Just one thing:make sure you tell them you don”t want whipped cream on it. Or the damn cherry…

Sure, I like whipped cream, but not when it replaces one fourth of the shake! Oh yeah, and they put a cherry on top. If I wanted a sundae, I”d order a sundae (somewhere else). But guess what? I want a mint shake with green food coloring in it, Det er SkillOnNet som leverer spillene til EU casino online , en aktor som er anerkjent for nedlastbare casino online er. and I want it filled to the top, damnit. Only for less than one month a year do I get to drink green, minty, creamy, fatty goodness. I don”t want whipped cream to clog up my red and yellow striped straw—that narrow tunnel is reserved only for my shake.

I know, I know, this is not something new. I got screwed over last year. So this year, I got smart and told them, “no whip, asshole.” What did I get? Three-fourths of a cup of a Shamrock Shake (that will teach you for trying to be fancy with your clear plastic cup, “McCafe.”) I went via the drive-through and didn”t notice the damage done until it was too late. Don”t let this happen to you. Check it before you take your first big SUCK through the straw. We deserve better. My Irish car bomb better be f”ing awesome this year…

by snebbu

Sweet & Salty Valentine’s Day

I am willing to bet that you currently fit into one of three Valentine categories: (1) you haven’t gotten your Valentine a gift yet, (2) you hate Valentine’s Day, or (3) you think you’re getting something that you really are not. Or maybe you are perfect and got exactly what your Valentine wanted for this special Hallmark day (NOT). For the rest of us—there is a solution. This treat is the end game.

Unless you hate everything awesome, you’re going to love every bite of this action-packed chex mix. Some call it “Better than Sex Chex Mix.” I’m calling it it “Cupid’s Special Secret”…because this will make anyone happy. Take chocolate chex (Gluten Free, of course—I’m still trying to be healthy), caramel, chocolate (milk and white), tiny peanut butter cups, and some sea salt. …And butter, brown sugar and corn syrup (sugar is sugar, right?) If you still aren’t convinced to make this for your boo (or yourself), then you don’t belong here.

I’m not going to waste anyone’s time…bottom line: this will win the day. Game Over. Flowers? BUSH LEAGUE. Take the half hour out of your life to spoil her/him/yourself. You won’t regret it. My girlfriend loved it!

Cupid’s Special Secret Chex Mix

in Desserts / Holiday / Recipe 2 comments

by snebbu

Top 10 Beers for Christmas

Put down the eggnog. I know you”re only drinking it because of some ridiculous tradition that started before you were even a thought. Okay, now that you”ve come to your senses, perhaps this is the year you drink and offer beer to your guests instead (not the kind that looks like piss). Even though I”m still having a hard time letting go of the fall seasonal beers, the winter has plenty to offer. I tried to pick a variety of winter seasonals ranging from dark stouts to spicy ales and lagers. There”s something for everyone! Enjoy and Merry Christmas!

*DISCLAIMER: This list is in no order. Try all ten, then decide what your favorite is!*

10. Sam Adams Winter Lager

(PHOTO: Sam Adams)

The Sam Adams Winter Lager is a tried-and-true brew that will not leave you disappointed. Sam Adams does lager well. They added a mix of winter spices and made the brew a bit darker (which makes it a tad bit sweeter in this case). The spices and the slight caramel flavor makes it an enjoyable fire to ~~chug~~ sip next to the yule log.

9. Troegs Mad Elf

(PHOTO: Troegs Brewing Company)

Just the name is enticing. Troegs Brewing Company has established themselves as one of the best craft breweries in the country. The Mad Elf and their Nugget Nectar have been my favorites for a while. Mad Elf packs a punch (11% ABV) and offers all the flavors I think of about Christmas: sweet, fruity, spicy. All packed into one swig that tastes great and gets you buzzed quick while dealing with that crazy family of yours.

8. Anchor Brewing Christmas Ale

We all know how I feel about this brew. Get a couple of six packs of this and put a couple bottles in the basement to compare to the next couple years” versions. The rest—drink with your friends and impress them with your knowledge of the brew!

in Drinks / Holiday / Lists / Top 10 Lists 3 comments

by snebbu

I’ll Take Some Christmas in My Beer

One of a kind. Every year, Anchor Brewing creates a unique recipe for their Christmas Ale. Once. Then the next year—a different recipe is used to create another Christmas ale. And so on and so on. Along with the beer, each year there’s a different label, hand-painted by an artist. The brew is only available from November to January, so get it fast! Now, on to the beer

Anchor Brewing touts the brew as: A rich, dark spiced ale, Anchor’s Christmas Ale is the perfect holiday beer, and is available nationally on draught, in six packs, and magnums (1.5L). A magnum of Christmas Ale transforms an evening into a celebration and makes a unique host gift or stocking stuffer for beer lovers. On to the ES test (hopefully you’re realizing by now, I’ll break it down into five categories):

in Drinks 0 comments

by snebbu

Burns My Bacon: Anti-Booze States

Do you know what a State Store is? If you do, then you understand my endless rage. If you don’t, then you’ll most likely be enjoying the recent endless wines super-cheap case of wine gift with no frustrations. The rest of us are scrambling to find somebody in a neighboring state willing to open their doors to a case of wine while also willing to refrain from drinking it. (I’ll explain)

I know for most of you, you have no idea what I’m talking about. Some of you can stop at a gas station on your way home from work and pick up a pounder of Keystone for your enjoyment the minute you get home. Or you could stop at your local grocery store and get wine, beer, or yes, even liquor. You have no idea how much the rest of us envy you.

I live in the great state of Pennsylvania. We are home to two great cities, great sports, the Philadelphia Cheesesteak, the Liberty Bell, the homes of Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, and a site of which the constitution was drafted. We bring to America great pride in its history. But then there is this giant ink blotch on our state that we just can’t get rid of: The State Store.

Here in Pennsylvania, we are restricted to where and when we can get our booze. If you want beer, you need to go to a distributor. You want wine or the hard stuff?! Who the hell do you think you are? You need to go to what we call “state stores” run by the LIQUOR CONTROL BOARD (not controlling nanny-state-like at all). But wait—you can only go during certain hours, and we do not allow anyone to get any form of alcohol on Sundays (depending on where you live IN PA). God forbid. Phew. So those are the rules here.

Well…there is another catch. Apparently if these state stores (which have a giant selection and are run by experts in wine and booze…er…sarcasm) don’t have what you want, you can’t even order if from another state without going through the state store. And paying a tax nearing 20% on your purchase. You better pay for your booze you drunkard!

So that awesome deal that you’re trying to get…that’s hilarious! They can’t ship to Pennsylvania—that would be blasphemy. I mean, unless you ship it to the state store and pay us back in taxes for allowing you to send a package to our door and hold it for you. That takes a lot of resources you know…

The deal is awesome. I’m pretty excited, and contemplating having the girlfriend let me ship to her house in New Jersey (just don’t tell anyone!). The rest of you…well, you know what I think about you. Pick up a 40 for me next time you’re out…anywhere. Celebrate the occasion that you’re free to buy whatever beverage you want, wherever you want. I’ll be lost in the maze of Pennsylvania legislation trying to figure out HOW THE HELL I CAN GET ME SOME NAKED WINE!

(Photo: Our Awesome Wine Sponsor)

in Drinks / Politics / Rants & Raves 4 comments

by snebbu

Burns My Bacon: Whiny Baristas

Here I am, sitting in Starbucks with my scholarly stash working on my scholarly grad school work with my pinky up, and I’m interrupted. “Can’t you see I’m doing something?!” he says in a whiny voice as he piles up sugar in the raw packets while chatting with his classmates (I’ll get to that later). Meanwhile, the line is going out the door because everybody needs their damn skinny, no-whip, triple-double-mocha-java.

Time passes…I get nowhere in my homework because now the whiny voice is getting loud. Meanwhile another gent is mopping the floor after he single-handedly saved the day by serving up hand-crafted beverages to all of the customers with personalized cups (that’s right, they put your name on it). “Look dude, if you want to talk, then let’s talk.” Whiny voice—“Uh, yeah I want to.” And they storm off to the back for what is clearly an epic barista battle.

What was it I was doing? Oh yeah, I paid $50 for to use their free wireless to work while gently sipping on my hand-crafted, personalized beverage (skinny peppermint mocha if you must know—hold the WHIP—that’s right BRIAN, I’m watching my diet, and I may even run after this!) Things are getting quiet, and I can finally get into my hipster-cafe mode as I enjoy the strumming of an acoustic Christmas song. The mopping artisan appears to have left the scene. Crisis averted and the drama’s over. Clearly sugar in the raw is more important than making everyone’s night perfect with the touch of love put into every cafe cup.

How do I know the whiny kid was chatting with his classmates? Well the sweet strums of an acoustic Christmas and my eloquently written graduate work were interrupted yet again by the whiny barista discussing a school project. Never mind that creamer needs to be refilled, the straws need to be put in order, and the toilet needs to be scrubbed. Go do your homework. And don’t mind the rest of us who’ve actually paid to be here rather than are getting paid. Maybe I should apply for a job here so I can at least get paid to do my homework.

Whining bugs me to begin with, but when you are getting paid to get homework done, and you are whining about piling up sugar packets, I lose tolerance. What makes it worse? Interrupting my groove, mang. Who do you think you are?

*I wanted to take a picture of the actual whiner, but I guess that would be some kind of violation of privacy. So instead I “hand-crafted” a picture of my face as he whines. And of course, he FAILS.

**Snebbu is also known as Mubbs Mubbens on movember.com. He is committed to bringing awareness to Men’s Health issues and raising money to fight prostate cancer and testicular cancer. You can check out his site, rate his sweet stash, and contribute to the cause here!**

in Drinks / Rants & Raves 2 comments

by snebbu

Movember Eating: Top 10 “Manly Mo Foods”

Happy Movember! Don’t get me wrong—I’m excited for Thanksgiving, but this is important too. The Movember campaign raises awareness of men’s health issues (particularly prostate cancer and testicular cancer). Ladies have pink—us men have something a bit more permanent and…natural. That’s right, a mustache. Hopefully you’re noticing more men fashioning a stash recently; raising awareness and “changing the face of men’s health.” So next time you see someone with one, please say “Happy Movember.” In honor of Movember and supporting the cause to raise awareness of men’s health issues, I bring you the top ten manly “mo foods” to feed men or to enjoy with men. Onward…

10. Deep Fried…Anything?

Really—what isn’t good deep fried? Pickles, Twinkies, hostess cupcakes (so sad, I know), snickers bars, even butter. I really don’t think there is much that is not better when battered and fried. Men enjoy fried foods—we all do. But more than that, odds are you are eating it on a stick and getting messy.

(Photo: BS)

9, Meatloaf

Elf has his main food groups, while us men typically enjoy our own three: meat, beef, and beer. Don’t ask about the logic, just trust me that it’s there. I love meatloaf. What’s better than tossing meet together, baking it in the oven, and slathering ketchup over it? Well…maybe Katt’s recent turducken of meatloaf concoction (which I’m pretty sure includes at least two of the three men’s food groups). (Note from ML: MAAAAAAM! THE MEATLOAF!)

(Photo: Katt Kasper)

in Bacon / Cheese / Drinks / Holiday / Lists / Pig / Red Meat / Top 10 Lists 2 comments