The Turducken of Meat: Meatloafenstein
Maybe it’s because of Halloween, or maybe it’s because of the alcohol, but whatever the reason, like my old buddy Dr. Frankenstein, I’VE CREATED A MONSTER! You might think me mad but it came to me while I was enjoying a bottle of scotch and wrestling with the concept of a ‘Turducken.’ You know, the bird stuffed inside a bird stuffed inside a bird. Although I could appreciate the premise, I’m not that much into eating fowl. But wait, I thought! What if I could take my favorite meats—chopped steak, veal, sausage, prosciutto and bacon— and combine them together in a similar fashion? What if I took a pork kielbasa, wrapped it in bacon, and stuffed that inside my favorite meatloaf? What if………
MMWOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! (That’s supposed to be crazy, maniacal laughter). Igor! Ready the kites! There’s a storm approaching and I’ve assembled the parts! Lock the doors! Shield your eyes! Throw the switch – NOWWWWWWW!!
Katt’s ‘Meatloafenstein Monster’ with Igor’s ‘Hell-Fire Hot Sauce’
1 Pd pork kielbasa
4 slices of bacon
¾ cup each of chopped onions, celery and green bell peppers
3 oz of chopped prosciutto
2 gloves of minced garlic
1 tbsp of Sriracha Hot Sauce
1 tbsp of Worcestershire
½ cup of heavy cream
½ cup of catsup
1 Pd of ground sirloin
½ Pd of ground veal
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup of parmesan Panko bread crumbs
½ cup each of chopped onions, celery and green bell peppers
¼ cup of all-purpose flour plus 1 tbsp
¼ cup of canola oil
2 bay leaves
4 minced Habaneros
2 minced garlic cloves
3 cups of beef stock
White and black pepper to taste
Let’s start building our monstrosity. First, get a 9×5 non-stick baking pan and cut a length of the kielbasa 2 inches shorter than the pans length. Turn your oven up to 350 and wrap the kielbasa in the 4 slices of bacon and use a couple of tooth picks to secure the ends to the sausage.
Put our ‘Kielbasa Mummy’ in a shallow baking pan and throw it in the oven for 25 minutes. This will pre-cook the bacon but won’t get it crisp. When it’s done, pull it out and allow it to cool. Next, get a large skillet and pour in 2-3 tablespoons of canola oil. Bring up the heat and sauté the onions, celery, green peppers, garlic and prosciutto. Once the prosciutto begins to brown, remove the pan from the heat and reserve.
Get a large bowl and lightly whip the 2 eggs. Add to that the catsup, heavy cream, Sriracha sauce and Worcestershire and whip until blended. Add the ground sirloin, veal and the bread crumbs and mix well using your hands, then add the cooled sauté d vegetables. Mix well then put about an inch layer of the mix into the bottom of the 9×5 pan. Grab our ‘Kielbasa Mummy’ and place on top of the meat layer and then fill in the pan with the rest of the mix.
Place our creation into the 350-degree oven and bake for 25 minutes. Then increase the heat to 400 and bake for an additional 35 minutes. Remove it from the oven and let it rest for 15 minutes. While it bakes we can make our evil hot sauce.
Chop up all of our vegetables and garlic including the habaneros. And include the habanero SEEDS, you wimps! This will insure blood-cuddling screams once your victims begin eating. In a 1-quart saucepan add the beef stock and bay leaves and bring this up to a boil while you are sautéing the vegetable mix. Use the same skillet from before so that you can scrap up the tasty bits that still remain on the bottom of the pan.
Pour the canola oil into the skillet and bring it up to a high heat. Once you see it begin to sizzle add the flour and whisk continuously until the color of the roux is peanut butter. Remove the pan from the heat and add the vegetable mix. Allow this to cook for about 2 minutes while you stir it well. Remove the bay leaves from the beef stock and add the vegetable mix into the stock in large spoonfuls. Once all of the vegetable mix has been added, reduce the heat to a low simmer and add the white and black pepper (along with the salt), to taste. Let this simmer while the meatloaf cooks.
When you’re ready to serve, ladle a good amount of the Hell Fire Hot Sauce onto a plate, place a slice of the Meatloafenstein Monster on top and follow that with another ladle of sauce. Then, take a big bite….if you dare. MMWOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!