Movember Eating: Top 10 “Manly Mo Foods”
Happy Movember! Don’t get me wrong—I’m excited for Thanksgiving, but this is important too. The Movember campaign raises awareness of men’s health issues (particularly prostate cancer and testicular cancer). Ladies have pink—us men have something a bit more permanent and…natural. That’s right, a mustache. Hopefully you’re noticing more men fashioning a stash recently; raising awareness and “changing the face of men’s health.” So next time you see someone with one, please say “Happy Movember.” In honor of Movember and supporting the cause to raise awareness of men’s health issues, I bring you the top ten manly “mo foods” to feed men or to enjoy with men. Onward…
10. Deep Fried…Anything?
Really—what isn’t good deep fried? Pickles, Twinkies, hostess cupcakes (so sad, I know), snickers bars, even butter. I really don’t think there is much that is not better when battered and fried. Men enjoy fried foods—we all do. But more than that, odds are you are eating it on a stick and getting messy.
Elf has his main food groups, while us men typically enjoy our own three: meat, beef, and beer. Don’t ask about the logic, just trust me that it’s there. I love meatloaf. What’s better than tossing meet together, baking it in the oven, and slathering ketchup over it? Well…maybe Katt’s recent turducken of meatloaf concoction (which I’m pretty sure includes at least two of the three men’s food groups). (Note from ML: MAAAAAAM! THE MEATLOAF!)
(Photo: Katt Kasper)
Whenever my grandfather was going to come visit our house, my parents would make sure we had his favorite Scotch ready. Scotch is the classy booze that you drink in one hand with your expensive cigar in the other. The only other question to ask is—which is more manly, on the rocks or not?
(Photo: Johnnie Walker)
7. Meat Pizza
Little Caesar’s used to have a “meatza-pizza” or something like that. The pizza included all meats we enjoy—bacon, ham, sausage, pepperoni, etc. This is a pizza fit for a man. None of that white pizza crap. We want meat on our pizza, and we’re going to fold it in half and stuff our faces. Yum. Or you can try out my version of meat-y, beer-y pizza, which again, includes at least two of the manly food groups.
6. Double Cheeseburger
Yum…a nice, thick juicy burger. Of course, there is a manliness scale with burgers, beginning on the low side with well done and the manlier side with rare. Oh, and obviously with bacon and some cheese melted on top, oozing out as you put the bun on.
Brats are an icon of tailgating in most parts of the man-world. The best way to have a brat is by cooking it well, then burning it so the casing is nice and crispy. Obviously, cheese makes it better (as it does pretty much anything). But before it’s cooked, bathing the brats in beer makes them even more manly and more importantly—tastier. (Note from ML: Don’t women like sausages more? I mean…)
4. Craft Beer
You know how I feel about craft beer. Craft beer is for men. It takes a real man to put away that piss you call Bud Light and pony up for a craft brew. Drink craft beer.
(Photo: Drink Craft Beer)
Yeah, we like Bacon here at ES. There is nothing better than the smell of bacon in the morning to wake you up….or in the afternoon…or in the evening. In fact, it smells and tastes delicious no matter what. AND you can eat bacon for any meal. Did you piss off a man in your life? Make him a feast featuring bacon and you’re bound to find forgiveness. And of course, Ron Swanson loves bacon too (the real kind).
Have you noticed yet that we haven’t left the three food groups of men? What man doesn’t like steak? Obviously, it needs to be cooked the right way (red and bloody…and with beer). If you get it well done, expect to have men in the surrounding area shaking their heads and at least one of them yammering some obnoxious comment. It’s deserved.
1. Turkey Legs
Since we’re nearing the Thanksgiving holiday, what better to top this list with a turkey leg? A true man will grab that leg on Thursday, yank it off the carcass of the bird with his bare hand sand bite right into it. Just make sure you leave the bone clean.
YES, I know that these aren’t the only foods that men enjoy (Note from ML: nor do only men enjoy these foods). We all enjoy them together. But unfortunately, a lot of men aren’t afforded the opportunity to do so because of cancers like prostate and testicular cancer; 1 in 6 men will have prostate cancer in their lifetime. The mustaches are great and manly foods are better, but they mean nothing if we don’t fight it. I’m going to give a shameless plug to my movember website. If you feel so inclined to donate to the cause and support men everywhere, we’d appreciate the contribution. No contribution is too small. Plus, you can see some pretty ridiculous weekly updates on the site.
*I am typically against shameless plugs and self-promoting, but this is for a good cause. Thanks for considering it.*