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by ML

The Oktoberfest Survival Guide

Oktoberfest kicked off on September 17th in Munich, Germany. Unlike last year, I won’t be in attendance this time around. But in case you will be (or will be attending one of America’s faux celebrations), I want you all to be prepared with my professional tips.

1) Be prepared for the ride

If you’re traveling to Munich via train, you might find yourself in a car with 10 men from the same “village” who have multiple kegs, loud music and an underage 15-year-old. They will all be offended if you don’t drink beer and/or take shots with them, so just do it. Don’t plan on resting up during this voyage.

2) Eat whatever everyone else is eating

Look around. What are the old men and the bavarians in leiderhosen eating? Order that, no matter how good everything else sounds. If you can’t figure out the German menu, ask for an English version. They have them.

3) Order a pretzel the size of your head

You will not find anything like this in America no matter how hard you try. Plus, you’re going to need some carbs to aid with the 10 liters of beer you will inevitably drink.

Friday Fuck Up: The Failed Unitasker and Nuclear Peppers

Maybe they were just doomed from the start.

My mom’s colleague in Texas sent us this pepper holder for the grill. I went over for dinner last night and she decided we’d try it out with some grilled jalapeno poppers. She cored the jalapenos (with the jalapeno corer) and stuffed the peppers with manchego cheese.

What you can’t see in the picture is how many times the damn things fell out of the holder. First, my dad put it on the grill the wrong way, so the legs of the holder fell through the grates and the peppers went everywhere.

Even after that though, every time we moved it, another one tumbled down onto the grill. All three of us kept scrambling to pick them up before the cheese melted onto the grates. As soon as one went in, another would fall out. We chalked this up to the peppers being too big for the holder (TWSS?) or our Pennsylvanian inability to figure out this device.

We left it on the grill for 30 minutes and the peppers remained pretty crunchy. I tried one and my mouth was on fire, like, running into the kitchen to drink milk out of the carton, on fire. We gave up on the grill and put them on a baking sheet in a 400 degree oven for another 20 minutes.

The Stolen Guac

Listen up. This is the only time I will EVER PROMOTE CHEATING.

And I’ve been having a hard time doing so. I’ve literally been trying to write this post for awhile. By awhile I mean….a year or so.

However, there is a certain guilt associated with putting a recipe on the internet when it is supposedly a secret. One of my best friends stole this recipe from her roommate a few years ago. I say she stole it because said roommate refused to give it up, so my intelligent friend closely watched her make it. And took notes.

This is probably the best guacamole I’ve ever had, and the secret lies in the little yellow seasoning packets. If you’re against sodium or MSG, etc, etc…you should probably just stop reading here.

Everyone I know raves about it, and this guac is the only thing my friend is allowed to bring to parties. If she brings something else….well, she wouldn’t do that. She knows how much we like it.

The Best Ever Guacamole Maybe Because It’s Stolen but I Don’t Care or Because It’s Cheating but Again, I Don’t Care

Salad Karate

Know a person who thinks cooking isn’t fun?

Buy them this: the GAMA-GO Karate Chopper.

in Rants & Raves 0 comments

by ML

Attack of the Meme: Top 10 Food Texts from Last Night

So maybe the whole Texts From Last Night thing is yesterday’s news (Wikipedia says it’s a “living document of twentysomething life in 2009“) but really, we all know they’re still great even in 2011. (Just as long as drugs keep making us hungry, of course.)

So, here are my Top 10 Food related TFLNs. Feel free to disagree with me, but you can’t deny it: we’ve ALL been there, or wish we have been.

Top 10 Food Texts from Last Night

10. Straight to the point.

(Original Photo: Neil Conway)

9. Class or booze?

(Original Photo: Steampunk Family the von Hedwigs)

8. So…bread?

(Original Photo: frozenchipmunk)

7. Always make room for essentials.

(Original Photo: Nicola since 1972)

6. Prince Charming.

(Original Photo: Comic Book Movie)

Next: Top 5 Food Texts from Last Night

in Bacon / Desserts / Featured / Lists 0 comments

by ML

The Perfect Companion

Have I found the perfect companion to Endless Cocktails? Maybe.

A few weeks ago I traveled to Vegas to attend Bloggers in Sin City ,where we were given Sprayology’s Party Relief Spray. Yes, a spray that claims to prevent and cure hangovers.

I know what you’re thinking. This can’t possibly work, right?

Well, it might. The instructions are: spray 2 sprays under tongue prior to drinking, then again after each hour of drinking. Considering Vegas never sleeps, this is a lot of fucking sprays in one night. For two nights in a row I diligently sprayed each hour, and both mornings I woke up hangover free, even after drinking Four Loko and Mad Ballr. The third night was a bit fuzzy…I tried to remember to spray, but when you’re at the bar until 3am and Brittania is buying you drinks….sometimes you just forget and wake up the next morning with the worst hangover of your life.

I have yet to have a hangover while using this spray, but if I’m remembering to use it, maybe I’m not drinking enough to have a hangover in the first place.

What are your best hangover preventions/cures?

in Drinks / Personal 2 comments