Friday Fuck Up: The Failed Unitasker and Nuclear Peppers
Maybe they were just doomed from the start.
My mom’s colleague in Texas sent us this pepper holder for the grill. I went over for dinner last night and she decided we’d try it out with some grilled jalapeno poppers. She cored the jalapenos (with the jalapeno corer) and stuffed the peppers with manchego cheese.
What you can’t see in the picture is how many times the damn things fell out of the holder. First, my dad put it on the grill the wrong way, so the legs of the holder fell through the grates and the peppers went everywhere.
Even after that though, every time we moved it, another one tumbled down onto the grill. All three of us kept scrambling to pick them up before the cheese melted onto the grates. As soon as one went in, another would fall out. We chalked this up to the peppers being too big for the holder (TWSS?) or our Pennsylvanian inability to figure out this device.
We left it on the grill for 30 minutes and the peppers remained pretty crunchy. I tried one and my mouth was on fire, like, running into the kitchen to drink milk out of the carton, on fire. We gave up on the grill and put them on a baking sheet in a 400 degree oven for another 20 minutes.
They looked delicious. SO DELICIOUS. The skin of the peppers got a little blistery and the cheese was bubbling and browned. I bit into one…it was alright, but still pretty fucking hot.
And then my dad ate one. He was doing alright for awhile, but suddenly spit the pepper out all over the table and yelled, “THESE ARE FUCKING NUCLEAR PEPPERS.”
The rest of the night he raged to my mom about her “produce failure.” We dissected a few of them and found some seeds, but they were still SO. FUCKING. HOT.
What went wrong here? Were we supposed to do something else to the peppers before we grilled them? Were these just unusually hot jalapenos?
P.S. Here’s a way to make some pretty awesome grilled jalepeno poppers, no unitasker needed.