Emily


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Hunger Games? More Like Full-of-Brownie Games

Fine, I’ll admit it. I totally got into the Hunger Games. In a big way. I figured it was just another trendy teen book so I resisted it forever. I ended up taking it as a plane book, forgot to read it on said plane, got bored a couple weeks ago and decided to skim through the first chapter and see what all the fuss was about… fast-forward to 2am , and I was desperately devouring the last few pages! I just had to know what happened to Katniss and Peeta. Whatever, at least I’m not into Twilight, right?

So when the Hunger Games-themed cookbook came out, I jumped. My two passions in life — food and Hunger Games — together?! Done. (Fine, HG isn’t my passion, but it sure felt like it during that three-hour period when I read it cover-to-cover. KATNISS!) Ahem. Anyway, here we have it, The Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook by Emily Ansara Baines. I think it’s pretty funny how much they’re required to emphasize the “unofficial” aspect.

Alright, so, real talk: this cookbook is really contrived. I will concede that I am a bit older and more experienced in the culinary realm than its target demographic, but some of these recipes are straight-up ridic. We’re talking “Hazelle’s Beaver Stew with Rosemary Potatoes” and “Banquet-Baked Mountain Goat with Artichokes, Tomatoes, and Fresh Herbs” (ingredients: “2 pounds wild goat tenderloin or round steak,” yeah, probably the round steak, I haven’t seen any mountain goat at my farmer’s market lately). Oh, and even “Grilled Tree Rat with Peanut Butter Dipping Sauce.” Seeing as how most of these recipes are pretty simple and made for young cooks to try out, I don’t think suggesting TREE RAT is really the most realistic path to take, Emily Ansara Baines.

Also of note are the cooking suggestions included with each recipe, hilariously entitled “Tips from Your Sponsor.” And, perhaps the best part, a little description under the title of each dish explaining how any recipe, even something as simple as cookies, ties in with Hunger Games. My favorite example:

“A twist on the classic chocolate chip cookie, this cookie is similar to Katniss’s spirit — mostly dark, with patches of light throughout.”

Hahaha, WHAAAAAT. Stop. Just stop. I mean, I know it’s probably hard to fill an entire cookbook, but come on. Anyway, who am I to judge until I’ve at least tested some of these recipes for myself, right? My initial impulse was to make Katniss’ favorite lamb stew (an obvious yet necessary choice) but I didn’t have enough time and wanted to make something before the movie premiere today. I decided on brownies:

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in Desserts / Recipe / Trends 2 comments
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Your Mom’s So Fat, She Wrapped Her Burger in Bacon

I’m shocked to be alive and writing this to you. Not only did I somehow survive the liver assault that is SXSW, but I also survived the most intense burger I’ve ever eaten.

Your Mom’s Burgers in East Austin specializes in cute language (condiments are called “bling”) and huge burger patties stuffed with all sorts of rich deliciousness, named after celebrities. After an afternoon of day drinking in the sun, I was starving and ready for some meaty indulgence.

I treated my arteries to the Willie Nelson: a 1/2lb burger stuffed with American cheese, tossed in honey BBQ sauce, wrapped in bacon, topped in a giant onion ring, covered in more special BBQ sauce, and served between two slabs of Texas toast. A cross shot:

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in Bacon / Endless Bacon / Pig / Restaurants 1 comments
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Attack of the Meme: Let’s Make Fun of Amateur Food Photogs!

With the advent of Instgram, Pinterest, and an array of other easy photo-sharing social media, everyone thinks they’re a food photographer these days. Which is great in theory, but sometimes often we see a post that makes us say “Um…. NO.”

My new favorite Tumblr has thoughtfully archived all those aberrations of food “photography” in one place: Amateur Food Porn Has Got To Stop. (Is there ANYTHING Tumblr can’t do? No.) Let the mocking begin…

I mean, I never claimed to be Ansel Adams, but I have some sense of artistic dignity. What even IS that crap?!

(image: AFPHGTS, of course)

in Photos 19 comments
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Drinking the Kool-Aid, Literally

So I was having lunch at a little Thai place, business as usual, when I noticed something interesting on their menu:

Kool-Aid!

Is this a thing in restaurants now?  I mean, I had a Tang martini in Philadelphia last fall, but that was alcohol-infused! This is just pure Kool-Aid. Seeing as how a packet of Kool-Aid mix (which will make a whole pitcher – OH YEAAHH!) costs 35 cents, I don’t know that 99 cents a glass is the best deal. I feel kind of like John Travolta in Pulp Fiction — “you don’t put bourbon in it or nothin?”

in Drinks / Restaurants / Trends 2 comments
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Welcome to Austin: Thai Breakfast Tacos

As I’ve mentioned many times, I am from Seattle. Exciting news, though — I got offered a restaurant media job in Austin last month! So guess who’s a Texan now?! Yee haw! This means one thing for Endless Simmer: Tons of AMAZING Texas/Southern food coverage! You’re welcome. I do it for you.

It’s no big secret that Texas is full of great Mexican food. I mean, hello, we’ve all heard of Tex-Mex! There is one delicacy special to Austin, though, that I find especially appealing: the breakfast taco.

Sure, you can find Mexican-inspired breakfast entrees everywhere. Huevos rancheros and fast-food breakfast burritos are not exactly culinary revelations. But there is just something about the Austin breakfast taco! Ask anybody in this city. The concept is simple: head to your local taco stand in the morning (Austin is teeming with them, and they’re all delicious), but instead of your average choices of fillings, you can choose from eggs! Potatoes! Cheese! But don’t worry; the usual suspects (chorizo, avocado, refried beans, etc…) are also available.

Today is my first work morning and naturally I needed to find the perfect “welcome to your new food life” breakfast. Luckily my offices are very close to a little coffee shop called Thrice, which is connected to a Thai cafe/market/culinary school. This means not only does Thrice offer Austin breakfast tacos, but they are Thai-fusion breakfast tacos! WHAT. Just to reiterate, that is a combination of Mexican and Thai. My two favorite ethnic cuisines.

A fluffy, slightly spicy Thai omelette mixed with tomatoes and grilled onions, perched atop a fresh flour tortilla and served up with a smoky-sweet Thai chili hot sauce. I think I’m gonna like it here.

in Breakfast / Cheese / Eggs / Restaurants 2 comments
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Deep-Fried Avocado = Love

It’s no secret that we love avocado here at Endless Simmer. We also love ridiculous fried things. Hell, we’ve even attempted a marriage of the two, although the results were not pretty. As a dedicated ESer and food lover, I’m always on the lookout for yet more avocado creations to embrace, and I just experienced something that will forever change the way I look at sandwiches.

At Gourmands in East Austin, sandwiches are king. And by “king” I mean “GIGANTIC.” I took a chance on my arteries and ordered the Second Deadly Sin: Smoked turkey, bacon, swiss, fried avocado, sprouts, and pesto.

Yes, fried avocado!!! See that crispy, brown thing in the bottom left corner of my mountain of sandwich? FRIED AVOCADO.

I know it might not look like much from this picture, but I assure you, this is a thing of wonder. The best qualities of fried shit: crisp texture, warmth, salty grease — combined with the best of avocado: creamy, cool richness. Smashed onto a ton of meat. What’s not to love?! I hope more restaurants jump on this bandwagon.

 

in Bacon / Cheese / Fowl / Pig / Restaurants / Sandwich / Trends 5 comments
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