The Dice is Dead

Fresh, diced tomato on a crusty, olive-oil-brushed toasted bread tastes great. Add in some basil, onion and garlic and we enjoy a classic appetizer: tomato bruschetta.

But don’t lie. The tomatoes fall off with every crunchy bite. This becomes messy. And wholly unenjoyable.

Enter the slice. Imagine instead of chunks, there are slices. It’s easier to eat. The bite more complete.

And forget the tomato. Cork, a neighborhood wine bar in DC, realized the slice could work with an avocado. Actually, it doesn’t just work, it kicks ass.

I was introduced to this simple and pleasantly pleasing appetizer at a recent press event. Thin avocado slices, topped with ground pistachio, toasted pistachio oil, and French sea salt combine for a rich, salty and satisfying prelude. Could it be more simple? More delicious? Could this make a more perfect union?

Top 10 Foods Only Australia Could Have Invented

Regular ES readers know that I love to celebrate/poke fun at the deep-fried ridiculousness that is American cuisine. My 2008 expose on the Top 10 Foods Only America Could Have Invented remains one of our most popular posts, and by far the most controversial. Every few days a new reader finds this story via social networks and leaves an outraged comment, intimating that I clearly must be a communist for daring to disrespect corn dogs. The BS haters’ favorite line of attack is pointing out that America is not alone in our attempt to deep fry every food. For example, Tav68 rails:

Someone needs to set this poster straight. America is actually number 11 on the list of the worlds fattest nations. This is Directly from the UN web site. Not from some reporter who wants to bash America but from the UN who keeps statistics on this type of thing NOT used for the purpose of Nation Bashing. Australia is the world’s fattest nation, with 36.2 percent of adults being obese…

Hey, point taken. While I have long believed no country can top America when it comes to the great art of artery clogging, I’m willing to give any of them a chance. So in honor of January 26 — Australia Day — and the fact that there is a bring the KFC double down sandwich to Australia facebook petition — I bring you the top 10 foods that only Australia could have invented:

10. Australian Hamburger with “The Lot”

australian hamburger with the lot

The Aussies may not have invented the hamburger, but they sure have taken it to levels not many cultures could have imagined. Ask for one with “the lot” and it will come loaded with a runny fried egg, bacon, cheese, beets (!), pineapple, tomato, lettuce, onions and ketchup (which they call tomato sauce). Makes the New Luther look like snack food. (Photo: Vanessa Pike-Russell)

9. Burger Rings

burger rings

Speaking of snack food, when you can’t find a burger with the lot in Australia, you can always grab a bag of burgers — a.k.a. these beef-y snack rings. If the thought of popping burger-flavored snack rings into your mouth makes you want to gag, then you probably won’t want to know that these things reportedly taste like semen.

8. Chiko Roll

Chiko_roll_in_bag

Found at football matches and many Aussie fish-and-chip shops, the Chiko is basically a Chinese egg roll, only upgraded so that it’s large enough to serve as a whole meal. Inside, you’ll find more than just shredded cabbage: usually beef, barley, carrots, green beans and onions. (Photo: Wikipedia)

7. Bacon and Egg Pie

Egg_and_bacon_pie_with_chips

This is what I call a solid breakfast. As in most countries formerly ruled by Britain, Australians are obsessed with savory pies. The meat pie has even been referred to as the national dish here, and it can be made with anything from minced beef to lamb and steak. But how can you beat one stuffed with good ol’ bacon and eggs? (Photo: Wikipedia)

6. Potato Cakes

potato cakes

Now this is where the Australians really start to challenge us for the deep-fried crown. Smartly realizing that a plate of fried fish and chips just isn’t substantial enough for many people, many chippers here serve their fish with potato cakes — basically giant circles of mashed potatoes deep-fried within an inch of their life. This is one oversize side that puts french fries to shame. Check out Good Food Gourmet for a recipe.
(Photo: jbennett)

Next: Top 5 Foods Only Australia Could Have Invented

Seven Years in the Making

jack and spinach quesadilla

In 2004 I burnt a quesadilla. Burnt to inedible sadness. In the years since, I feared trying it again. I ordered the fried wonder all of the time, usually with wilted spinach mingling with the melted cheese. If I couldn’t cook it myself, I could at least enjoy it elsewhere.

That was until last night.

Bennett and I have been on a grilled cheese adventure, well, not really an adventure as most of the sandwiches resemble normal grilled cheeses. Except, though, for this character with Brussels sprouts, which was inspired by #2 on America’s Top 10 New Sandwiches.

But with our block of cheese still going strong, I decided to face my fear of the quesadilla.

In the seven years since my first attempt, I’ve changed boyfriends and kitchens. I learned that not everything can cook on high heat. And I learned that one failure shouldn’t keep me from enjoying another way to love cheese.

Plus, I adore frying tortillas. How hard could it be with less oil?

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peanut butter and jelly cocktail

Finally: Peanut Butter and Jelly for Grown Ups

peanut butter and jelly cocktail

There are many people who believe peanut butter belongs on bread and bread only. As someone apt to eat peanut butter with a spoon (or a shovel) I couldn’t disagree more. And ever since I found out about hot peanut buttered rum, I’ve been angling for more ways to enjoy the taste of peanut butter with my booze.

So while we’re not generally big fans of all those pointless “day of” days here at Endless Simmer, I can’t resist celebrating “National Peanut Butter” day with this recipe sent over by Gianfranco of the Tippling Bros mixology team. Without using any actual Skippy, it  recreates the taste of a grade-school PB&J inside a martini glass.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Cocktail

Peanut syrup

1) Combine 2 parts water with 2 parts sugar in a pot

2) Bring sugar water to a boil

3) Add 1 part minced peanuts

4) Simmer for 10 minutes

5) Strain to remove peanut particles

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What is French Toast, Alex?

french toast

Yup. The title is in the form of a question. The answer is: “The end pieces of a loaf of bread can be successfully used this way.”

I’m not sure I’ve ever really used the end of commercial loaves before. Growing up my mom would always sacrifice and eat them for us which led me to deem them mutants and therefore inedible. But that all changed this weekend.

How could a coating of egg, milk, vanilla extract, honey, salt and cinnamon NOT transform something into deliciousness? I let a few slices—and the mutant slice—sit in that mixture for a few minutes before they were fried in butter. To ensure the mutantness could be hidden even more, I covered the slice in cinnamon-sauteed banana slices and real maple syrup.

Here’s to nose-to-tail eating. Sort of.

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

kale chip fail

– Reaching back to an old Friday Fuck Up, erisgrrrl confirms that cooking kale chips is easier said than done:

I have tried to make kale chips twice and both times it was fail city! They looks so easy and tasty! I have no idea what I did wrong but it was no good! So, I totally feel your pain!

Why is this so hard? Some tips please? Anyone?

– In another oldie-but-goodie, real live French-Canadian Jean-Guy Bourque approves of our NYC Tour de Poutine:

I am a French-Canadian who left Montreal for a 6 month visit to the USA 42 years ago, and I’m still here in New Jersey…I am very happy to see that you can finally get a taste of Montreal here in the NYC area! Bravo! What I really hope for is for “smoked meat” to also catch on here…You’ll forget about NY style pastrami once you’ve tried Montreal’s smoked meat! Also the Montreal style of BBQ chicken that you get at places like Chalet BBQ, Benny’s or St Hubert BBQ…

Consider us on board the smoked meat bandwagon!

– Finally, star ES commenter erica offers up some more ideas for what to cook with lentils:

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Gridiron Grub: Venison & Ginger Beer Chili

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A couple of weeks ago my Eagles were knocked out of the NFL playoffs and before that, my beloved PSU Nittany Lions embarrassed themselves in the Outback Bowl. Thankfully, while I drowned my sorrows last week, BS provided us with a look at overpriced NFL beer and provided me with some time to regain my composure so that I could return reinvigorated for the final 2 weeks of the 2010/2011 season.  The forecast for the games this weekend isn’t too promising and where I live we are expecting single digit temperatures. Needless to say, I will not be heading out to watch any games, but instead thought I would make a big pot of the ultimate winter comfort food….chili.

I don’t know if I have ever come across a bad bowl of chili. There are so many different ways to prepare it and they all end up being pretty delicious. While doing a little research for this post, I confirmed that the word chili is Spanish and the first recorded use was in 1604. The rough translation was: “a bunch of tasty shit stewed together for awhile.” Partly inspired by ML’s recent post about game meat, and the fact that I had access to locally hunted venison, I decided to go with a venison chili. This chili recipe started out a few years ago, straight from a Field and Stream recipe, but with small changes each attempt, I came to this week’s incarnation:

Venison and Ginger Beer Chili with Lime Cream

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