NYC Tour De Poutine

It was during a visit to Montreal some eight years ago that I first discovered the glory that is poutine. This French Canadian specialty is a heart-stopping, gut-busting treat that somehow manages to out-America American food, topping crispy French fries with mounds of fresh cheese curds and thick brown gravy. Delicious. Frightening. Genius.

The dish is so popular Up North that it’s even served at McDonald’s in Montreal. Now it’s quickly proliferating New York restaurant menus and appears set to become the next Bahn Mi/Fried Chicken/obsessive over-the-top comfort food trend. So I set out to explore every New York restaurant currently serving poutine. With a little (OK, a lot) of help from some friends, I’m delighted to share this exhaustive report, along with the news that my internal organs appear to still be intact…for now.

Drunken Poutine: T Poutine

The first NYC shop to make poutine the focus of their menu, this Lower East Side newcomer sees Canada’s challenge and raises it, offering artery-clogging options like the steakhouse poutine (topped with caramelized onions, blue cheese and thinly sliced steak) and the morning glory poutine (applewood smoked bacon and sunnyside up egg). The gravy (which also comes in a veggie version) is nothing to write home about, but this party-area spot, which is BYOB and open til 5am on weekends, is more about the alcohol-soaking extras. You can ramp your poutines up even further with add-ons like Essex pickles and panko fried cheese curds. 168 Ludlow Street, $7.25 – $9.50

Everything Poutine: Corner Burger

After returning from an eye-opening holiday trip to Montreal, the owners of this Park Slope burger and sandwich shop have updated their menu with an astounding 13 varieties of poutine. The Americanized takes—pepperoni, mozzarella and marinara make up the “pizza poutine”—are in our opinion unnecessary, but Corner Burger hits a home run with the hearty classic versions, such as “poutine galvaude,” a popular Quebecois take that adds shredded chicken and peas to the standard dish, which features a delicious housemade chicken gravy. 381 5th Avenue, Brooklyn. $6 – $7.50

Extra Cheese Poutine: Dive Bar

This long-standing Upper West Side establishment has been serving poutine for years, and there’s nothing fancy or inventive about their take. (The bartender found it hilarious/adorable that I wanted to take a photo.) The possibly canned gravy is mediocre, but as you can see that’s not really the emphasis here. Dive Bar wins the most-cheese-curds-for-your-dollar award by a long shot, and gets extra props for the fact that the extra-crispy fries hold up well under all that weight. 732 Amsterdam Avenue, $8.

Keep reading….it only gets crazier…

The Last Supper Poutine: Shopsin’s

This quirky lunch counter inside the Essex Street Market serves up the poutine to end all poutines — a giant bowl of super crisp French fries completely doused in the requisite dark gravy and cheese curds and then topped with not one, not two, but three runny poached eggs. The seemingly bottomless bowl is an amazing feast, but do exercise caution. Because Shopsin’s is only open ’til 3 p.m., when most of my “real job” friends are unavailable, I had to approach this monstrous meal on my own, and while I didn’t come anywhere close to finishing, suffice it to say my stomach was not on speaking terms — or more accurately, was on speaking terms — with me for the rest of the day. 120 Essex Street, $13

Poutine Lite: Sheep Station

We love that this Australian pub in Park Slope makes room on its menu for a great Canadian dish, and they start strong, with beautiful golden-brown fries — thick but not too thick. Unfortunately, they seem to be afraid of really embracing the whole poutine mentality, drizzling on just a few cheese curds and a woefully small amount of gravy, which tasted canned and was way too salty. Our tasting team recommends the fries on their own, but this isn’t the best stop for poutine, unless you’re unsure you’re ready to handle the real deal. 149 4th Avenue, Brooklyn. $6

Street Poutine – Pommes Frites

This late-night East Village standby gets plenty of props for their double-fried Belgian fries and wide array of dipping sauces, but they also deserve credit for their less frequently ordered poutine. Served just like it is at many Montreal establishments, in Styrofoam to-go cups, Pommes Frites’ version is designed to keep you warm on that winter walk home, and while neither the gravy or cheese curds were the best of what we tasted, the grease-soaked fries are great as always, and they do an excellent job on the ratios — ensuring that every bite has a well proportioned mix of all ingredients. Bonus points for being the cheapest poutine in NYC. 123 2nd Avenue, $5.

Elitist Poutine: Hotel Griffou

OK, fine — we didn’t actually visit ever NYC poutinerie. Our tasting team decided to skip this West Village hotspot, most well-known for Leo and Lindsey sightings but also home to some ridiculousness known as duck confit poutine (seriously!) The place sounds a little too scene-y for my tastes, plus the food gets not great reviews and Yelp-ers report they don’t allow photos anyway. But if anyone has tasted this dish, we’d love to hear your thoughts. 21 West 9th Street, $12 (Photo: The Jedi Foodie)

Best Poutine In Show: Mile End

This just-opened Brooklyn eatery, named for a hip Montreal neighborhood, aces poutine with a classic version that features a super-thick, housemade chicken-mushroom gravy (there’s also a just-mushroom version) and cheese curds from Silver Moon Creamery in Maine, by far the lightest and freshest we sampled on our poutine tour. But they top themselves by finishing the dish with bits of savory smoked beef brisket. In fact, with a laid-back atmosphere; friendly service (owner Noah Bernamoff gladly chatted with us about ingredient sourcing even while busily slicing his straight-out-of-the-oven brisket); and Stumptown coffee to boot, Mile End may be my favorite new NYC restaurant. Note: they’re struggling a bit to handle Brooklyn’s surprisingly feverent appetite for Canadian cuisine, and as of now are only serving from 8am ’til whenever they run out of meat (usually between 3 and 4 pm). 97A Hoyt Street, Brooklyn, $8 – $11

More: NYC’s Burgeoning Canadian Food Scene