Rustlin Rob's Fredericksburg, TX Hot Sauce Room

The Hot Sauce Store to End All Hot Sauce Stores

I would like to invite you to Rustlin’ Rob’s in a little town called Fredericksburg, Texas…

Rustlin Rob's Condiment Store, Fredericksburg, Texas

Fredericksburg is mostly known for its wine (yes, there is a Texas wine country) and I personally consider it “the Las Vegas of the Texas wine world” since you’re allowed to walk around with open containers in the streets/stores. I even got mardi gras beads from one of the tasting lounges, and since I have a real garbage party girl streak, I was super into it.

The most surprising aspect of my carousal through Fredericksburg? Rustlin’ Rob’s, the wonderland of condiments and weird snacks, and unlimited free self-serve samples.

Rustlin Rob's Fredericksburg, TX sample jars

Beneath its glowing red chili lights (seriously, so many novelty chili lights) Rustlin’ Rob’s has quite seriously EVERY kind of jam, jelly, jerky, spread, dip, salsa, and um, quail egg (?) a girl could ask for. The best/worst part? IT’S ALL AVAILABLE TO SAMPLE. ALL OF IT. Every single product has a self-serve sample next to it. Now, I know you’re wondering why I called this the “best/worst” thing when clearly it’s the best thing. But after eating literally 30+ samples of specialty jelly slathered over cream cheese and Wheat Thins, you’ll know when your train turns the corner straight into Worstville.

Probably the most impressive section of RR’s is the hot sauce cave.

Rustlin Rob's Fredericksburg, TX Hot Sauce Room

Rustlin Rob's Fredericksburg, TX Hot Sauce Room

I have never seen so much hot sauce in my damn life. For all of you who are forever chasing the dragon when it comes to the hottest hot sauce, Rustlin’ Robs is your heaven.

Rustlin Rob's Fredericksburg, TX Hot Sauce Room

It was the best of snacks, it was the worst of snacks. It was the heaven of snacks, it was the hell of snacks. Rustlin’ Rob’s contains multitudes. If you are ever in central Texas, I strongly urge you to stop by. And don’t eat lunch beforehand.

Rustlin Rob's Fredericksburg Texas

Hot Dogs Gone Wild! Top 10 Fixin’s for Your Hot Dog

With the Fourth of July ahead, and at least one package of hot dogs sitting in your freezer or fridge, it”s time to start thinking about your cook-out. Whether it”s you alone or at your jam-packed amazing and mega-impressive/amazeballs party, it”s time to think about spicing up your wieners. For you (and only you), I”ve done my research on the craziest and tastiest varieties of fixin”s for your dog. Choose on and serve, or create a twisted hot dog bar.  Then impress. Here we go…

10. Bacon Wrapped (and Stuffed)

bacon-wrapped-hot-dogs

Bacon is one of the few foods that I believe goes well with everything. Bacon makes all things better. Now, combine it with one of America”s favorite foods, by topping it and stuffing it with bacon. Add cheese and sauerkraut with your typical condiments. Bacon inspires all.

Recipe: Simply Recipes

9. Columbian

Colombia-perro-caliente

I”ve put potato chips on sandwiches, burgers, but never thought to put them on a hot dog already topped with slaw and sauces. Some believe that there is such a thing as too many condiments, or strictly using mustard and only that. It looks like the Columbian may change their minds.

Recipe: My Columbian Recipes

8. Mexican

mexican-hotdog_DSC0645

Pineapple is one thing I never thought of topping my wiener with. But along with chipotle sauce, sweet and spicy sounds good. A couple of jalapenos add a nice kick.

Recipe: Homesick Texan

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It is STILL Summer: Coconut Shrimp Meatball on Crostini with Fruit Salsa

Soooo, are any of you folks on Pinterest?  I am and I waste hours (yes, hours) of my life looking at pins, pinning pins, liking pins and thinking about pins.  Clearly, I have too much free time (at work).

It’s bumming me out lately that people are pinning Halloween stuff and (gasp) Christmas stuff.  I mean, slow down, y’all.

It’s still totally summer, if you ask me.  I literally just started buying and wearing tank tops because I sort of have a tan (a tan for me is not really a tan by normal standards, but at least nobody is blinded by my upper arms anymore).  Also, all the summer clothes are on clearance now and that makes me happy.

Let’s just relax.

And enjoy summer.

How about a coconut shrimp appetizer for your cocktail party?  It screams SUMMER!

Quit trying to plan ahead and live in the present…mostly just so I can enjoy my tank tops and flip flops for a little longer.

Coconut Shrimp Meatball on Crostini with Fruit Salsa

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A Salsa for Summer: Grilled Watermelon and Feta

As I get older and now that I have life all figured out (Ha!  Sense the sarcasm, folks), I am less embarrassed about stuff. I used to be the girl who turned beet red and just about died from humiliation over the tiniest things.  Now, if I trip in front of you (I most likely will) I’ll just smile and wave.  Saying something stupid?  I do it on the daily.  I’m okay with it.

The one thing I am consistently still embarrassed over is my iPod music selection. The worst part is that I voluntarily put all the crazy embarrassing music on there. Just to give you a taste, there are about 300 songs including Pitbull (face getting red), assorted 90’s rappers (getting redder), maybe some country (eyes closed in shame) and a butt-load of Glee renditions (maximum levels of musical embarrassment reached).  I’m just gonna tell you, I sometimes roll my eyes when listening to my iPod alone.  I need an intervention.

Why am I discussing this with you today?  Well, I had some willing taste-testers hanging around my kitchen while I made this killer salsa aaaaand my iPod was on the speaker dock. So, when I think about this salsa, I will forever associate it with the delicious flavors of fresh watermelon with a grilled char and tangy feta, along with the ear raping sounds of Miley Cyrus.  Oy.  Y’all, forget I wrote this, okay?

Grilled Watermelon & Feta Salsa

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Deviled Egg Porn of the Day

The tastiest crazy deviled egg concoction I have sampled yet:  Jasper’s Corner Kitchen and Tap in San Francisco is now serving chips and salsa deviled eggs. Gimmicky? Sure. Amazing? Yes.

More: Deviled Eggs Gone Wild!

Top 10 New Foods at the 2011 State Fairs

It’s America’s favorite meal — the state fair! Every year, the fairs across this great land compete with each other to invent bigger, badder, greasier fair food. But after Texas stepped up its game last year with deep fried beer, this thing hit a whole ‘nother level. The 2011 state and country fair foods have been more insane — and more amazing — than ever. Here are our top 10 favorite finds.

10. Chocolate Covered Corn Dog – Orange County Fair

Could there be anything more American than dipping a hot dog in batter, deep frying it and eating it off a stick? Why yes, there could be. You could cover it in chocolate and put sprinkles on top, a treat that was found at both the OC Fair and neighboring San Diego County Fair. My Burning Kitchen has more on food at the San Diego fair. (Photo: www.myburningkitchen.com)

9. Deep Fried Kool-Aid – San Diego County Fair

In another strong showing for California’s other great fair — and originator of last year’s hash brown covered hot dog, San Diego debuts what is surely the trashiest food ever conceptualized. It’s just unclear why they didn’t wrap it in bacon. (Photo: Cuttlefish)

8. Deep Fried Butter on a Stick – Iowa State Fair

Texas may have invented deep fried butter at their own fair a few years back, but Iowa thought to put it on a stick. See, America, we can do great things when we work together. Yes, this involves frying an entire stick of butter, and yes, you simply have to watch the video for full effect.

7. Buffalo Chicken in a Flapjack – Texas State Fair

The first of several entries from the Lone Star state, this monstrosity is a chicken strip, coated in pancake batter and jalapeño bread crumbs, then deep fried and…you guessed it — eaten on a stick. (Photo: State Fair of Texas)

6. Red Velvet Funnel Cake – Florida State Fair

Funnel cake has fallen behind on the list of outrageous fair foods recently. After fried beer and fried Coke, plain old fried dough starts to look pale by comparison. But this year we saw funnel cake get a new southern fried twist that injects some new life into it…and probably injects all kinds of chemicals too. Why eat fried dough when you can eat red fried dough? (Photo: Bob B. Brown)

 Next: The Top 5 state fair foods

 

Friday Fuck Up: Are Those Tortilla Chips in Your Jell-o?

I confess: I don’t like recipes. That, and my tendency to leave out key ingredients even when they are listed right in front of me, makes me a worse-than-average baker.

It’s not that I can’t follow directions; from K*nex to origami, I have personally experienced the power of step-by-step instructions in my life. When I’m in the kitchen, though, I’d rather be swept up in the moment, adding a little of this, a little of that. Generally, the results are, if not supremely delicious, at least edible. Next time I make tomatillo salsa though, I will do so with recipe in hand.

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