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by hungry monster

Attack of the Oreo…Cocktails!

I’ve never been one of those people who can’t say no. I have no problem saying it.

{In school}

Can you copy my test? I think not.

Lunch money? Ain’t got none (clearly our school system is failing).

{As an adult}

Need help moving? I’m busy that day.

Oh, I also can’t help you paint your house. I got a thing.

Yeah, I can’t babysit your kid ’cause I don’t wanna.

Your birthday is coming up? I’m no good at cakes.

Also, I have given to a charity already this year, so not today, seedy people who approach me at the gas station.

Yeah, there’s a lot more stuff to say no to as an adult. But, when your co-worker of 5-plus years asks you to make some of your “very delicious Oreo truffles, pleeeaaasse” for her son’s wedding on a budget…sometimes you gotta suck it up and say yes.

Months go by and I’m dreading it and dreading it. Ugh. Today is the day. OK, so I’m gearing up to make a million truffles, but clearly I need to make a stop at the liquor store to get through this madness. I texted my brother updating him on my situation. Then he said the best thing ever.

by unsightly

Caffeinated Baking: Blueberry Coffee Tart

On a quick 2-day trip to Michigan I kept driving past all these signs and billboards for u-pick blueberry farms. I resisted until the drive home and made a last minute stop. I didn’t have enough time to pick my own, but I did have enough cash to pick up a 5 lb bucket of blueberries. The first dessert to come of the blueberry bounty was this mildly sweet tart. If you’ve had bad luck with crusts before, fear not, I’ll walk you through a (nearly) fool-proof way to make a light and fluffy crust. Or if you just don’t care or aren’t up to the task, feel free to substitute store-bought pie crust.

Blueberry Coffee Tart

in Desserts / Featured / Recipe 0 comments

by BS

The Endless Road Trip: Salt and Straw

We’re no strangers to crazy ice cream flavors here at ES, and let’s be real—in this brave new dessert world where salted caramel sundaes and olive oil ice cream have become the norm, a chef putting something insane inside your cone is not really newsworthy. HOWEVER, when I heard there is an ice cream shop in meat-mad Portland serving bone marrow ice cream, clearly I was there in a New York minute.

The bad news: Salt and Straw did not have the bone marrow flavor in stock on the day I visited, but really for the very best reason possible: they were waiting for cherry season to start, so that they could make a bone marrow-black cherry ice cream. Obvi.

The good news: I had enough friends with me to order up a smorgasbord of outrageous flavors: honey balsamic strawberry with cracked pepper, sea salt with caramel ribbons, coffee-bourbon, blue cheese and pear (!), honey-lavender, blood orange, and blueberry with key lime marmalade. All head-over-heels amazing. the sweet-and-savory balsamic-strawberry-pepper took top honors for me.

The better news:

in Desserts / Food Travel / Red Meat / Restaurants 4 comments

by unsightly

Endless Ice Cream: Coffee-Maple-Bacon

My house in the summer gets disgustingly, unbearably hot. I once clocked 96 degrees in our living room. This means the oven pretty much gets a three-month vacation starting in June. However, no air conditioning can be the mother of invention. I’m forced to grill everything (I’ve made pizza, soup, bread, even lasagna on the grill), or get creative with no-cook and make-ahead recipes. This ice cream is in anticipation of those sticky, crabby mornings where it’s so hot I dream about moving to Alberta.

Whole bean coffee is steeped in cream, then cooked into a custard base. Maple syrup is whisked into the chilled custard. Then after it’s churned you fold in some pre-made chopped, candied bacon.

So there you have it: coffee, bacon, eggs, and maple syrup. Ice cream breakfast. If you’re lucky enough to have air conditioning, make pancakes and scoop this on top of ’em. I guess I’ll be tinkering with cast iron skillet pancakes on the grill.

Coffee-Maple-Bacon Ice Cream

in Bacon / Breakfast / Desserts / Endless Bacon / Endless Ice Cream / Featured / Pig 1 comments

by ML

What to Do with That Leftover Easter Candy

On Saturday morning, in my pajamas, I impulse-bought two pounds of coffee, two pounds of bacon, and a package of Reeses’s Peanut Butter Eggs.

I just moved, so this was the entire contents of my fridge, besides a case of beer (obviously). I realized I had no idea what I was going to do with six peanut butter eggs and all that bacon, so one of my friends tweeted that I should combine the bacon, coffee, and chocolate….and my new favorite bacon and eggs were born. I left out the coffee because…well…I just did. The suggestion may have been a joke, but I’m pretty sure these peanut butter bacon strips are going to be the next big thing. Or at least replace bacon & eggs in my house.

Bacon and (Peanut Butter) Eggs

in Bacon / Desserts / Eggs / Recipe 6 comments

by Emily

Top 10 Break-Up Foods

For some, Valentine’s Day is a time of magic and romance. For the rest of us, it’s a pain in the ass. I’m not a big proponent of feeling pressured if you’re dating someone, or sorry for yourself if you’re not. Come on, we’re all gonna get laid sooner or later, who cares if it’s on V-Day, right? And most romances end in heartache, so let’s just indulge ourselves and talk about something more realistic than the perfect confections to buy your sweetheart.

Maybe you’re feeling bitter because you got dumped right before Valentine’s Day, maybe you found out through Facebook that your high school lover is engaged, maybe you just realized that every dude on this season of Mtv’s Real World/Road Rules: The Challenge somehow resembles one of your ex-boyfriends. (I mean…hypothetically, of course.) At least there is always food and sweet, sweet alcohol.

Just in time for everyone who is feeling bitter over this “holiday,” we present Endless Simmer’s Top 10 Break-Up Foods.

10. Bananas

I know, we’re starting off with a weird one, but bear with me. For a lot of us, when we’re upset or depressed or convinced we will die alone, sometimes it’s hard to see the point of eating. (If you are in this heartbroken place, don’t worry; in my experience, this unwillingness to stuff your face will pass soon enough.) While you might feel dramatic and slightly excited by the possibility of effortless weight loss, you need something to provide you with energy, or at least keep you from fainting at your desk. I read somewhere that the human body could technically live off bananas. I don’t know if this is actually true, but this “fact” stuck with me, and now whenever I’m depressed and have to force myself to eat, I choke down a banana.

9. Coffee

You might be waking up alone, but at least you have a daybreak companion to look forward to: coffee. If you’re been up until 4am crying, or maybe writing angry emails, or pathetic “I am so lonely without you” texts, it’s gonna be a rough morning. You need to force yourself to get out of bed and face the day somehow. What is the answer? Caffeine, of course. There is something about a sober, steaming mug of black coffee that is bleakly comforting.

8. Pizza

You’re in no mood to cook. Everything is too much effort. Nothing says “I’m lonely and lazy” like some cheap pizza. Plus it’s oily enough to soak up a boozy hangover if you’re been drinking away your sorrows. Whether it’s local delivery, late-night drunken desperation, or a cold slice out of a greasy box you find in the back of the fridge, pizza is a tried-and-true break-up binge classic.

in Cheese / Desserts / Drinks / Featured / Holiday / Lists / Personal / Photos / Red Meat / Top 10 Lists 11 comments

by Miss K

Eight Sugars in My Coffee, Please

One of the small pleasures of being a stay-at-home mom is that I rarely have to use a travel coffee cup. Sure, I may have to reheat my coffee three times before I make it to the bottom of the mug, and I have a tendency to set my coffee down randomly only to stumble upon it days later, but at least I avoid that perilous first sip from the tiny hole when you just know you are about to burn your lip.

My husband, of course, is not so fortunate, so when I received a sample KeepCup — “the first barista standard reusable cup” — I passed it on over to him for a trial run. His overall assessment was that it wasn’t too bad, although the color scheme made him feel like he was drinking from a sippy cup.

In both of our opinions, however, the greatest thing about the KeepCup is the rubber band/bracelet thingy that came with it. Actually, it came with two of them, in case you and your S.O. don’t like the same kind of coffee, but are too cheap to buy separate cups.

I think the idea of this rubber band is that you take the world’s finest tipped Sharpie, and darken in your coffee preference. Then, you just hand the cup to the cashier and avoid that annoying moment of social interaction wherein you actually tell the barista what you would like to order.