Eight Sugars in My Coffee, Please

One of the small pleasures of being a stay-at-home mom is that I rarely have to use a travel coffee cup.  Sure, I may have to reheat my coffee three times before I make it to the bottom of the mug, and I have a tendency to set my coffee down randomly only to stumble upon it days later, but at least I avoid that perilous first sip from the tiny hole when you just know you are about to burn your lip.

My husband, of course, is not so fortunate, so when I received a sample KeepCup — “the first barista standard reusable cup” — I passed it on over to him for a trial run.  His overall assessment was that it wasn’t too bad, although the color scheme made him feel like he was drinking from a sippy cup.

In both of our opinions, however, the greatest thing about the KeepCup is the rubber band/bracelet thingy that came with it.  Actually, it came with two of them, in case you and your S.O. don’t like the same kind of coffee, but are too cheap to buy separate cups.

I think the idea of this rubber band is that you take the world’s finest tipped Sharpie, and darken in your coffee preference.  Then, you just hand the cup to the cashier and avoid that annoying moment of social interaction wherein you actually tell the barista what you would like to order.

I do have a few questions about this band, though.

1. What the heck is doppio?  Is it the marijuana brownie of coffee?

2.  What is flat white supposed to mean?  It sounds insulting.

3. Why are there 8 spaces for the number of sugars?  If you need 8 sugars in your coffee, do you really deserve to call yourself a coffee drinker?

4.  What happens if I don’t fill in the word “hot”?  Will the barista let my coffee sit out until it is room temperature before giving it back to me?

I do appreciate the KeepCup’s attempt to cater to a wide variety of tastes, though.  I see great potential in this concept for the future of those, “I’m with the cause” bracelets.  Maybe there could just be one bracelet that lists all possible diseases, and people could just fill in those that they are interested in curing.  Hmm…I feel there is a great idea here somewhere.  Thoughts?