Lists - - Page 28

by BS

The Top 10 Drinks Only America Could Have Invented

Independence Day 2008 inspired Endless Simmer’s most popular all-time post: The Top 10 Foods Only America Could Have Invented. So by popular demand (actually, by DAD GANSIE’s year-old suggestion), we’ve returned with a list of 10 ridiculous, patriotic ways to wash down all those corn dogs and buffalo wings. Don’t head out to the BBQs this 4th of July weekend without first consulting The Top 10 Drinks Only America Could Have Invented:

10. Irish Car Bomb

What? You thought this one was invented in Ireland? Yeah, by a leprechaun who needed something to pour over his Lucky Charms. In fact, this often-spilled, rather insensitive homage to the Emerald Isle’s Troubles was first concocted at Wilson’s Saloon in St. Norwich, Connecticut on St. Patrick’s Day, 1979. Only our most industrious country could produce minds bright enough to think “Hey, I can get drunk twice as fast if I just drop my shot right into my beer!” For the uninformed, a Car Bomb is equal parts Jameson Whiskey and Bailey’s Irish Cream, poured into a shot glass. Then you drop the shot into a pint of Guinness and chug the whole thing. Brilliant!

Honorable mentions: Sake bomb (pretty sure they don’t do this in Tokyo), and the Russian Boilermaker (surprise — not from Moscow).

(Photo: Penguin Bush)

9. Long Island Iced Tea

Looks so deceptively refreshing, doesn’t it? Only the most ridiculous place in all of America could loan its name to a drink that basically involves pouring everything behind the bar into one glass. For the record, a traditional Long Island is made from vodka, gin, tequila, rum, triple sec, sour mix and just a splash of cola. It tastes surprisingly un-revolting and (less surprisingly) makes you do some pretty stupid things after drinking it.

(Photo: Krscoci)

8. Venti Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino

It’s not dessert! It’s coffee! Riiiiight. Only Starbucks could convince the skinny jean wearing, yogalates practicing, yuppie women of America that it’s OK to buy a drink that has more calories than a bucket of lard. But if it’s served in a cup, it doesn’t count as food.

(Photo: Shiok or Not)

7. The Bacontini

If there’s one thing we Yanks do well, it’s obsession. And anyone who’s every met one of us can tell you there are two things we can’t stop talking about: getting effed up, and bacon. So it was only a matter of time before we combined our two loves into one outrageous, trend-ending drink. The bacontini, now appearing on every blog, and soon enough, every bar across the USA.

6. Exercise Beer

But what to do the morning after you wake up and realize you’ve consumed nine shots of vodka and half-a-pound of bacon? Obviously, that’s when you switch over to exercise beer. The latest trend in American brews is super-low calorie beers like MGD 64, Select 55, and Michelob Ultra, which is my favorite because the ads for it actually show people drinking beer and then exercising. Finally, a way to get wasted every night and still lose weight, because you wouldn’t want to do something as drastic as, say, drink a little less beer.

Next: Top 5 Drinks Only America Could Have Invented

by BS

Food Fight!

I’m sure most of you have heard of La Tomatina, that fantastic/wasteful/tasty 50,000-tomato fight that takes over southern Spain every August.

But did you know Italians prefer to pelt their friends with oranges (ouch!), and Greeks get their kicks by dousing each other with several tons of flour?

If you like playing with your food as much as eating it (and who doesn’t?), check out my recent story from mental_floss‘ 10 issue: The World’s 10 Messiest Food Festivals.

in Food Travel / Lists 0 comments

by BS

The Top 10 Top 10 Food Lists

You know we love our Top 10 lists here at Endless Simmer. So today we’re spreading the love around the web and shouting out the funniest food stories we’ve ever seen presented in list format: the very meta Top 10 Top 10 Food Lists:

10. Top 10 Songs With Sexually Suggestive Food Metaphors: From Tom Waits’ strawberry sundae surprise to MC Lyte’s hot peas and butter, the Frisky brings us the dirrrrtiest food songs of all time. Wait, I seriously thought that “peaches” song was just about peaches.

9. Top 10 Creepiest Fast Food Mascots: Remember that nasty Quizno’s rat/hamster thing? Seriously, what marketing exec OK’d that? And did you know Ronald McDonald used to be even weirder than he is now? Fanpop’s list will keep you up at night.

8. Top 10 Food and Drink Hacks: Lifehacker gets all Macgyver on your kitchen cabinet, with tips on how to build a fire from chocolate and Coke, freeze perfectly clear ice cubes, and open a beer bottle with one sheet of paper (seriously!)

7. Top 10 Sightings of Religious Figures in Food: That Virgin Mary is one hungry broad! Girl be showing up everywhere from grilled cheese to Cadbury’s. This list has her and her boy tracked.

6. Top 10 Uniquely ’80s Foods: Oh, hit me up with some Capri-Sun and California Raisins! Serious Eats has this nosh-talgic list, although I don’t know how they forgot Ecto Cooler.

Next: 1-5 of the Top 10 Food Lists

in Bacon / Celebs / Featured / Lists / Top 10 Lists / TV 14 comments

by BS

100 Ways to Crack an Egg

According to legend (a.k.a. wikipedia), the folds in a chef’s hat used to represent the number of ways s/he knew how to cook an egg, with the vaunted 100-fold hat reserved for the heads of only the most knowledgeable culinary experts. But are there really 100 ways to prepare eggs? ES set out on an exploration across the food blogosphere to find out, and our answer is a decidedly delicious “yes.”

We’re reporting back and presenting our 100 favorite ways to cook an egg. If you’ve ever looked in the fridge and said, “I’ve got tons of eggs, but no idea what to cook with them,” well, you have no excuse to ever do that again. Just come right back here. Or better yet, print this out and hang it in your kitchen.

Presenting the comprehensive Endless Simmer guide to 100 ways to cook an egg:

Top 10 Cake-in-the-Face Shots (Happy Birthday Gansie!)

(Photo: killrbeez)

Hooray! ES Mid-Atlantic Bureau Chief Gansie is turning 2X years old tomorrow. I’d bake you a cake, gansie, but we all know I don’t so much as own measuring cups. What I would enjoy doing is giving you a good old-fashioned cake facing. But in the interests of not ruining your make-up, I’m giving you what I know you really want instead — a solid Top 10 link-bait post.

In honor of gansie’s golden birthday, I’ve compiled a list of the web’s best cake-in-the-face photos. Some were forced, others intentional, all delicious. Enjoy.

10. The “no, seriously guys, that wasn’t funny” face:

(Photo: killrbeez)

9. The “I didn’t get any on me, did I?” face:

(Photo: Mr. Wright)

8. The “I can’t believe I ate the whole cake” face:

(Photo: Bethography)

7. The “ooh, I kinda liked that” face:

(Photo: maubrowncow)

6. The artsy cake of the day face:

(Photo: Amarand Agasi)

Next: Top 5 Cake-in-the-Face Shots

in Desserts / Lists / Personal / Photos 9 comments

by tvff

Our Kind of Oscars: Top 10 Movie Food Moments

Another year, another Oscars ceremony coming up, and still no category for Best Use of Food In a Motion Picture. Where is the justice? Ever since the great Charlie Chaplin made a couple of dinner rolls dance in The Gold Rush, food has elevated the cinema to its greatest moments. From James Cagney taking out his aggression on a grapefruit to Willy Wonka’s fantasy land of sweets, food has helped film portray the full range of human emotions. So instead of watching 4 hours of Hollywood self-congratulation this weekend, spend a few minutes checking out the Top 10 Movie Food Moments.

10. “Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” – The Blues Brothers

Chez Paul was apparently a real restaurant in Chicago. The version of it they used in The Blues Brothers (they built a replica of the interior for filming) was also the perfect example of the too-fussy French restaurant just asking to be taken down a few pegs. And so, when Jake and Elwood go looking for maitre d’ Alan “Mr. Fabulous” Rubin to fill out their brass section, we know something good is going to happen, and we get the visceral thrill of getting to see them overturn the applecart. One shrimp cocktail, a few glasses of champagne, a failed attempt to purchase a woman and child and a very young Pee-Wee Herman later, and they’re off on the next leg of their Mission from God.

9. Jack Just Wants his Toast – Five Easy Pieces

There’s ordering toast, and then there’s ordering toast the Jack Nicholson way. This 1970 drama was nominated for 4 Oscars, but who can remember anything about it, other than Jacko telling the poor waitress to “hold it between your knees?” The moral of the story: If Jack ever walks into your restaurant, just give him his goddamn plain white toast.

8. Late Night Dinner at Mrs. Scorsese’s – Goodfellas

Mob movies and Italian food go together like meatballs and red gravy. So when it comes time to pick the greatest food scene from a Mafia flick, we’re going to leave the cannoli and take a scene from Marty’s masterpiece, GoodFellas. Although the description of one of the incarcerated gangsters preparing a full Italian feast (complete with razor-sliced garlic in the sauce) is tempting, we have to go with a late night stop at Tommy DeVito’s mother’s place in order to pick out some tools to finish a…business transaction. But what Italian mother would let her son and his friends leave without making sure the boys are well-fed? Oh, and that late-night home cook? Played by Martin Scorsese’s mom.

7. A Chef’s Breakfast – Big Night

A lyrical food movie, with Louis Prima playing the Godot role. Of all of the Italian cuisine featured throughout the film, it’s a simple scene toward the end that captures all you need to know about a chef’s love and respect for food. The next morning, after the climactic feast, a simple egg is cooked on screen, in one take. And you get the feeling that, while the chefs cook the fancy dishes for the punters in the dining room, the true connoisseur can appreciate something so basic. The clip above is from an Italian copy of the movie, but the scene has so few words, it really doesn’t matter. The movie is made all the more satisfying if you know that star Stanley Tucci is a major foodie and F.O.M. (Friend of Mario)

6. In Space No One Can Hear Your Chest Explode – Alien

Bilbo over there has been acting really suspicious lately. And Kane had a run-in with that thing, but he’s been feeling better lately. Maybe things are looking up…you and your buddies get to kick back and enjoy a meal and a few laughs. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, shit!

Next: Top 5 Movie Food Moments

in Celebs / Eggs / Fowl / Lists 40 comments

by BS

Top 10 All-Time George W. Bush Food Moments

As you may or may not have heard, Barack H. Obama is set to be sworn in as the 44th President of the United States this week (it’s kind of flown under the radar). I’ve been as guilty as anyone of getting caught up in all the hype surrounding our leader/savior/superhero, but it’s just occurred to me that while we’ve all been focused on how freaking unbelievable and amazing it is that Barack Obama is actually going to be President in ONE DAY, we’ve completely overlooked another monumental milestone: As of tomorrow, George W. Bush will not be president. O. M. G.

And while it’s been apparent for some time now that W. is just as eager as the rest of us for his last day in office to come, in a recent intimate interview, Bush admitted there is one thing he’ll miss about leaving the White House: The free food. To honor that spirit, we’re taking a fond look back at the Top 10 All-Time George W. Bush Food Moments. The choking, the burping, the eating with his mouth full, it’s been quite a presidency. I never thought the day would come when I’d say this, but as a writer always eager for an easy target — Dubya, I’m gonna miss ya.

10. TurkeyGate

Thanksgiving 2003: President Bush made one his gutsiest moves ever, a secret decision to fly into war-torn Baghdad and personally congratulate the troops on their “Mission Accomplished,” surprising the boys and girls with a beautiful golden turkey. Alas, that gorgeous bird, like so much else about this administration, turned out to be fake. Washington Post reporters uncovered the truth: the glossy turkey was just for show, rigged up for the prez — by who else? an overpaid government contractor — and our brave men and women in uniform were actually served cafeteria-style slop.

9. “We gotta get Hezbollah to stop doin’ this shit…are you gonna eat that?”

When you think about it, you can’t really blame George Bush for all his gaffes. The poor guy ran for President in 1999, how was he supposed to know some geeks were about to invent a magical program called YouTube that would record and broadcast his every awkward move and stupid sentence for the next eight years? Well unfortunately for him, they did. And unfortunately for America, the cameras were there at this G-8 meeting in 2006 to catch George artfully explaining the Bush doctrine to Tony Blair…while cursing up a storm…with his mouth full. Stay classy, GWB.

8. Sir, that is Not a Corn Dog

One of the shear joys of American politics is observing the quadrennial rite of presidential candidate trekking out to Iowa to seduce those cornfed voters the only way they know how — by chowing down on their food. But Bushie one-upped all the panderers in August 2004 when he took a campaign swing through Davenport, Iowa and stopped to marvel at their beautiful sweet corn. Apparently unaware that raw sweet corn is generally fed only to livestock, George ripped open an ear and dug in. “Mmm,” George proclaimed. “You don’t even have to cook it.” Actually you do, George. But please don’t — we shudder at the thought of you getting anywhere near an open flame.

7. Bad Sushi

OK, maybe we can’t blame the guy for the food sins of his father, but seriously America, how did you even consider electing a second Bush after the first one THREW UP on the Japanese President?!? Not an urban legend, this actually happened. Your entire family should really be banned from international diplomacy after you do this once.

6. Jenna and Tonic

As long as we’re celebrating the extended family, how could one leave out dear Jenna? The saga of the blond twin’s White House years started early, when the 19-year-old first daughter tried to use a fake ID to buy a margarita at a Mexican restaurant in Austin, Texas. And Jenna didn’t stop there. From falling down drunk to jaunting off on south-of-the-border boozefests to TJ arranged by the Secret Service, she was so amusing she almost made this administration tolerable. And here’s the scary part: After all that, it turns out Jenna is the sensible one in the family.

Next: Top 5 All-Time George W. Bush Food Moments

in Fowl / Lists / Politics 14 comments