The Top 10 Top 10 Food Lists
You know we love our Top 10 lists here at Endless Simmer. So today we’re spreading the love around the web and shouting out the funniest food stories we’ve ever seen presented in list format: the very meta Top 10 Top 10 Food Lists:
10. Top 10 Songs With Sexually Suggestive Food Metaphors: From Tom Waits’ strawberry sundae surprise to MC Lyte’s hot peas and butter, the Frisky brings us the dirrrrtiest food songs of all time. Wait, I seriously thought that “peaches” song was just about peaches.
9. Top 10 Creepiest Fast Food Mascots: Remember that nasty Quizno’s rat/hamster thing? Seriously, what marketing exec OK’d that? And did you know Ronald McDonald used to be even weirder than he is now? Fanpop’s list will keep you up at night.
8. Top 10 Food and Drink Hacks: Lifehacker gets all Macgyver on your kitchen cabinet, with tips on how to build a fire from chocolate and Coke, freeze perfectly clear ice cubes, and open a beer bottle with one sheet of paper (seriously!)
7. Top 10 Sightings of Religious Figures in Food: That Virgin Mary is one hungry broad! Girl be showing up everywhere from grilled cheese to Cadbury’s. This list has her and her boy tracked.
6. Top 10 Uniquely ’80s Foods: Oh, hit me up with some Capri-Sun and California Raisins! Serious Eats has this nosh-talgic list, although I don’t know how they forgot Ecto Cooler.
5. Top 10 Most Disgusting Candies Ever: Just what is with the fascination of making candy disgusting? Listverse has the best of the worst, from Gorilla Boogers to candy scabs.
4. Top 10 Anthony Bourdain Insults on Food TV: Tony B’s greatest hits. One each for everyone on the Food Network.
3. Top 10 Food & Sex Scenes in the Movies: Eating Our Words has the X-rated version of Endless Simmer’s Top 10 Movie Food Moments, with videos included (some of which are very, very NSFW, and may include Penelope Cruz’ “prosciutto.”
2. Top 10 Creative Ways to Enjoy Bacon: You knew we weren’t going to miss this one. Of course, we already knew about most of the items on Spike’s list, aside from the very creative idea of smoking bacon (hint: not on a grill).
1. Top 10 Things to Expect When Dining With a Food Blogger: Seriously, don’t ever go to gansie and 80p’s house for dinner. You’ll get cold food served at 11:00pm, but boy will it looks beautiful on the blog the next day. And that’s what counts.
(Photo: Hegemony Rules)
Brilliant list! Thanks for the nosh-talgia! Anthony is quite brutal but perhaps right on with some of his gripes. We just watched 91/2 Weeks last weekend, I had forgotten how steamy that scene was! Great work, I enjoyed this!
Great list- #3 is hysterical!
This is hilarious and the best thing I’ve read all week. Awesome list of lists!
#1 is pretty darn accurate. You can ask my girlfriend…
I thought that seeing The Virgin Mary on grilled cheese was spectacular until I saw David Hasselhoff on a jalapeno popper! Great lists!
I was so annoyed (and frightened) by the quiznos ad. And I couldn’t understand what the creepy thing was singing until one day I realized it said “we’ve got a pepper bar.” Sweet a pepper bar – exactly what I always wanted at a sandwich joint. NOT!
LOVE it!
+Jessie
Hah. Nice list. Way to go meta, ES. I love the “Top 10 Things to Expect from a Food Blogger.” Also like the word coinage of “nosh-talgic.”
This is a really great top ten list, Ronald totally appears in these lists more than anyone else and that’s kind of creepy. Anyone can post their own list to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list. And look we are Top 10 Top 10!
Hey, this is an awesome list, but to quote Spinaltap for needing a list to go to 11, how about:
” You’re the cutest this that i ever did see,really love your Peaches wanna shake your tree”
– Steve Miller Band
Does this qualify?
Great list of lists! I especially like the ’80s list (Orange Julius is great). However, I must admit I don’t remember Ecto Coolers.
OH! You’re my new favorite blogger fyi
@NFC: Ecto Cooler was the Ghostbusters flavor of Hi-C juiceboxes. A lunch box staple.
I hope they enjoy getting sued by Worldwide Pants
What an awesome list! Truly, this is reporting at its finest. You should have gotten a job writing for the New Yorker or something.
36 seconds I wont get back. Thanks Fark.