Top 10 All-Time George W. Bush Food Moments
As you may or may not have heard, Barack H. Obama is set to be sworn in as the 44th President of the United States this week (it’s kind of flown under the radar). I’ve been as guilty as anyone of getting caught up in all the hype surrounding our leader/savior/superhero, but it’s just occurred to me that while we’ve all been focused on how freaking unbelievable and amazing it is that Barack Obama is actually going to be President in ONE DAY, we’ve completely overlooked another monumental milestone: As of tomorrow, George W. Bush will not be president. O. M. G.
And while it’s been apparent for some time now that W. is just as eager as the rest of us for his last day in office to come, in a recent intimate interview, Bush admitted there is one thing he’ll miss about leaving the White House: The free food. To honor that spirit, we’re taking a fond look back at the Top 10 All-Time George W. Bush Food Moments. The choking, the burping, the eating with his mouth full, it’s been quite a presidency. I never thought the day would come when I’d say this, but as a writer always eager for an easy target — Dubya, I’m gonna miss ya.
10. TurkeyGate
Thanksgiving 2003: President Bush made one his gutsiest moves ever, a secret decision to fly into war-torn Baghdad and personally congratulate the troops on their “Mission Accomplished,” surprising the boys and girls with a beautiful golden turkey. Alas, that gorgeous bird, like so much else about this administration, turned out to be fake. Washington Post reporters uncovered the truth: the glossy turkey was just for show, rigged up for the prez — by who else? an overpaid government contractor — and our brave men and women in uniform were actually served cafeteria-style slop.
9. “We gotta get Hezbollah to stop doin’ this shit…are you gonna eat that?”
When you think about it, you can’t really blame George Bush for all his gaffes. The poor guy ran for President in 1999, how was he supposed to know some geeks were about to invent a magical program called YouTube that would record and broadcast his every awkward move and stupid sentence for the next eight years? Well unfortunately for him, they did. And unfortunately for America, the cameras were there at this G-8 meeting in 2006 to catch George artfully explaining the Bush doctrine to Tony Blair…while cursing up a storm…with his mouth full. Stay classy, GWB.
8. Sir, that is Not a Corn Dog
One of the shear joys of American politics is observing the quadrennial rite of presidential candidate trekking out to Iowa to seduce those cornfed voters the only way they know how — by chowing down on their food. But Bushie one-upped all the panderers in August 2004 when he took a campaign swing through Davenport, Iowa and stopped to marvel at their beautiful sweet corn. Apparently unaware that raw sweet corn is generally fed only to livestock, George ripped open an ear and dug in. “Mmm,” George proclaimed. “You don’t even have to cook it.” Actually you do, George. But please don’t — we shudder at the thought of you getting anywhere near an open flame.
7. Bad Sushi
OK, maybe we can’t blame the guy for the food sins of his father, but seriously America, how did you even consider electing a second Bush after the first one THREW UP on the Japanese President?!? Not an urban legend, this actually happened. Your entire family should really be banned from international diplomacy after you do this once.
6. Jenna and Tonic
As long as we’re celebrating the extended family, how could one leave out dear Jenna? The saga of the blond twin’s White House years started early, when the 19-year-old first daughter tried to use a fake ID to buy a margarita at a Mexican restaurant in Austin, Texas. And Jenna didn’t stop there. From falling down drunk to jaunting off on south-of-the-border boozefests to TJ arranged by the Secret Service, she was so amusing she almost made this administration tolerable. And here’s the scary part: After all that, it turns out Jenna is the sensible one in the family.
“the eating with his mouth full”…I’m sure you meant talking with his mouth full, as it is hard to eat without food in your mouth, but it still gave me a good laugh this morning 🙂
I miss him already , we ‘misunderestimated’ him after all 🙂
that fake turkey is TERRIBLE
Love it!!!
So where is the good will everyone is trying to foster?
Would you like all your college crazies posted here years later?
Hope ES does not have to eat any of their words.
If we can include extended family, how about Bush Senior’s refusal to eat broccoli? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIKmp-Ualzg
Good roundup! The fake turkey is a classic – just like those often used in (other) commercials. I do think H.W. Bush deserves a bit of a pass, though, since he took anti-nausea medication beforehand that didn’t work, and in the end, the younger Bush certainly induced more nausea than his dad.
A good round-up! I needed a good laugh and Bush Jr. is always good for that! lol
Much as I am overjoyed to see the worst president in the history of the country bid adios, I have to back him up on one of your items – you actually can eat corn raw, if it’s truly fresh as in just picked. It’s different from cooked corn, as any raw veggie is different from its cooked counterpart, but still delicious.
And I’m afraid I have to knock down #5. It’s true enough that he made a mess of drinking it, but I recognize that bottle of beer. It’s Buckler, an imported non-alcoholic beer. But dude, learn to pour. Don’t tell me that’s the way they do it in Texas.
you don’t have to cook corn, that made me laugh.
I found your blog on Stumble, and was enjoying it up to this post. Are you people ever capable of having fun without screaming about George W. Bush? Where are the Sarah Palin food moments so you can fling poo at her too?
I suppose I should have guessed. Most “foodies” are pretentious liberal twits. Goodbye.
I was attracted here by the “President eats kitten” pix. Outrageous. And well-done on the commentary.
As silly, crazy and pretentious as our dear George W. was, he was also one scary SOB. His administration was guilty of a number of crimes.
* Destroying evidence at the scene of the biggest crime in American history (9/11).
* Dragging his feet to start an investigation into 9/11.
* Conflicts of interest in the formation of the investigating committee which delivered a deplorable and question-riddled report.
But what might be even more scary is that he may have been involved with those who perpetrated 9/11, and then blamed it on someone else — a convenient patsy.
Marvin Bush worked with the security company which oversaw the WTC before 9/11. This might only be a curious fact, except that it takes months to prepare buildings of that size for controlled demolition and the ones doing it need security access. And WTC7 included the CIA and IRS, so they most assuredly had some notable security. But all 3 buildings came down at near perfect free-fall speeds. Only a controlled demolition could have allowed that to happen. Ask the more than 1000 architects and engineers at http://www.AE911truth.org.
And even more scary? Bush accelerated the national debt far above its already insane levels. When Iraq was shown not to be involved in 9/11 and not to have WMD’s, did we withdraw with apologies? No, “stay the course,” right over the cliff.
And now, our dear, silver-tongued devil, Obama has broken nearly all of his campaign promises and skyrocketed Bush’s outrageous debt level.
$15.5 TRILLION in debt and ACCELERATING. Thanks to both Obama and Bush. And it’s gonna pop!
The obvious conclusion is that our recent presidents and congress have, for the most part, been working with the 1% to trash America. How can this be said? Insane debt, shredding the liberties guaranteed in the Constitution and Bill of Rights, empire building, and international bullying. We’ve become the “evil empire.”
Elect Ron Paul. Prevent our future enslavement to the 1% — debtor’s prison for America under Trillions in debt and a worthless dollar.
I’m calling major B.S. on number 10. I arrived in Baghdad about a week or two before the President showed up and I had eaten at that very same D-Fac just before joining my unit 2/6INF, 1AD at Camp Muleskinner. The Bob Hope D-Fac at BIAP where W showed up was top notch and at Camp Muleskinner we ate like Kings for Thanksgiving as well. For dinner we had tons of Turkey and Ham, the real deal, then a couple of hours later they were serving all kinds of seafood. We were blown away with how much amazing food they had for us. I don’t know where you are getting this report that we were fed “cafeteria-style slop” but you are completely wrong. The bird in the pic might be fake but nothing else was.