My Similarities with a Fox

My first meal on a weekend will never be a salad. Monday through Friday, sure, I’ll put together something healthy. Something with kale. Something with yogurt and berries. But all I want Saturday revolves around the difficult task of bringing eggs to the farmers market.

This Saturday Truck Patch farm only brought about 20 cartons of eggs; they usually have triple. I grabbed a dozen right away. Weeks earlier, when Brian the farmer didn’t show up with many eggs, he told me the reason was it was too hot. The chickens wouldn’t lay. And I was like, dude, I totally get it. I wouldn’t want to do much of anything in this heat, much less squirt out a fucking egg. I figured the same thing happened this week. But no. Another natural occurrence took place – a predator ate the eggs. Brian found broken shells.

I can’t blame that fox or coyote for lapping up all those runny yolks.

Luckily though, they saved some for me.

Yolky Sun with Zucchini Rays


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Food Bloggers Give Panera’s Menu a Gluten-Free Makeover

Remember the team of activist food bloggers who took our list of America’s Top 10 New Sandwiches and made vegan versions of each sandwich? Well, Namely Marly and her team are at it again. This time, they’re giving one of America’s biggest bakery chains a GF makeover. Namely Marly writes:

I recently met a friend for breakfast at Panera and was surprised, nay shocked, to learn that they didn’t offer any gluten-free items at the bread bar. How could this be? Are they not aware of the growing number of people who are flocking toward gluten-free lifestyles?

The solution? De-gluten-ize the whole place! Namely Marly and her crew came up with gluten-free recipes for nine different items on the Panera menu. But will the bakery chain add any of these creations to their roster? Your move, Panera.

1. Chocolate Chunk Muffins

Recipe: Multiply Delicious

2. Caramel Pecan Rolls

Recipe: Namely Marly

3. Spinach and Artichoke Souffle

Recipe: Clean Green Simple

 

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Alert Isaac Newton: Gravity-Defying Apple Found in Cleveland

I’m a 1950s housewife these days. I’m writing (unemployed-ish) and therefore find my schedule fairly flexible. Bennett signed up for a work training in Cleveland, but since he would finish by 4pm and we have our friend Heather living there now, I decided to jump along for the Midwestern vacation. I know that’s what my grandmother (housewife) would do when my grandfather traveled for work.

On vacation I rarely think about choosing healthy foods. Fuck it, right? I’m on vacation. But my aunt said something during last Thanksgiving that (unfortunately?) stuck with me. It’s easy to think of a special reason to turn to treats—birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, holidays, break-ups, fights, good days, bad days—so soon every day there can be an explanation to eat dessert or go for that second helping.

So for my second lunch in Cleveland, where the first screamed indulgence, I chose a light dish at Lucky’s Cafe. Something I could be proud of: yogurt with berries and house-made granola. Heather oozed with excitement after I placed the order and my worries of a boring meal on vacation soon diminished. (Heather, by the way, keeps an eating-in-Cleveland blog.)

We sat outside on a wooden picnic table, under an umbrella and next to the restaurant’s large garden.

Then the yogurt came and holy shit.

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A Healthy Start to Our Life…I Mean, Day

It’s safe to say that none of you think of Endless Simmer as your first place to turn for healthy eating news. Heck, even our breakfasts usually include potato chips, pizza and beer. But we have a dirty little secret. In just a few days the combined age of Endless Simmer’s two editors will be 60. Yes, we’re both in, or nearly in, our 30s and starting to worry about things like high cholesterol and the idea of maybe not eating bacon 100 times a year. I know, I’m not happy about it either.

Case in point: for the past four years—ever since I moved back to NYC—I have eaten a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast approximately five times a week. I might actually be under-exaggerating. I just don’t get tired of them. I don’t know what made me do it—probably that 30th birthday looming on my calendar—but I recently decided to look up how many calories are in a big ‘ol New York bagel and schmear. I won’t tell you all the gory details, but let’s just say it isn’t pretty. So, for the first time since I was a teenager, I’ve switched back to cereal for breakfast. This is not a problem per se–I love cereal and I always have some around as a snack. But that’s just it—I think of cereal as a snack, not a meal. Rice Krispies are fantastic, but I can eat three bowls of them and still be hungry for lunch at 10:15.

So when Kellogg’s recently asked us to try out their new FiberPlus Cereal—a request I might have scoffed at a few years ago—I decided to go for it.  I’ve been on the market for a healthy breakfast that will sate me in one serving, so I figured I’d give it a try.

 

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Dear Bisquick: Suck On This

Pretty much all I think about is breakfast. Okay, I might think about more than that. However, I would call myself a breakfast freak. Flapjacks are among my favorite breakfast foods. On a quest for the “no foolin’, best pancake recipe ever,” I stumbled up this little gem that is too good not to share. It is pretty basic, but why fix a squeaky wheel if it isn’t broken…wait…

With a little tweak, I think this pretty much puts Bisquick in a corner for a permanent time out. Who uses Bisquick anyway? It contains solid hydrogenated oils which means it doesn’t need refrigeration and can keep on a shelf for ages. Anything that can keep on a shelf for ages kind of grosses me out. Mmmmm…trans fats. Delicious!

 

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Pop-Up Filipino

Everyone in the foodie world is always looking for the newest, coolest cuisine, and these days that usually means the weirdest. Well in terms of far-out food, it’s hard to beat Filipino. If you think Korean tastes are funky, wait ’til you try Filipino. These folks eat every part of their animals, they marinate their pig in soft drinks, and they prefer their eggs, um, shall we say…developed. More on that later.

So predictably, Filipino food is having a bit of a moment, with trendy new restaurants like Brooklyn’s Umi Nom and San Francisco food trucks Adobo Hobo and Senor Sisig. But it’s not a food trend until it has a pop-up restaurant. Enter Maharlika, which started a few months ago as a Saturday and Sunday only pop-up restaurant, serving brunch at Resto Leon in New York. This week it moved to the larger 5 Ninth, still serving only brunch.

The dish above is arroz caldo — a traditional Filipino rice porridge with shredded chicken, ginger, garlic and omasum (the third chamber of a cow’s stomach, if you must know). Hungry yet? Oh we’re just getting started.

 

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Attack of the Meme: Eating Arrested Development

The real meme here is the tumblr site Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog: Hipster Arrested Development, where dialogue from the show appears on these funky, arty photos that have nothing to do with the show. Instead of listing those (kinda lame/not funny) pics, here are some amazing quotes from the hysterical, cult show.

Top 10 Food and Drink Moments from Arrested Development

10. Breakfast of Champions, Runner Up


(Photo: Lizdexia)

9. Don’t Mess With Eggs


(Photo: Arrested Development GIFs )

8. Juice, Motherfucker


(Photo: The No Name Shoppe)

7. Damn It, Google


(Photo: Texts from The Bluth Company)

6. Breakfast vs. Family


(Photo: Meditation in an Emergency)

Next: Top 5 Food and Drink Moments from Arrested Development

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