Snack Time - - Page 4

by gansie

Carrie Bradshaw Makes Awful Decisions

I can’t even lie and say “it’s that time of year.” Because frankly, I’m always trying to cook with what’s in my house, it doesn’t matter if it’s the end of the year, end of the month or end to Bernie Sanders reading sob letters all day. Bernie Sanders for president!

This Sunday’s lunch kicked-off the eat-what’s-here trend. It’s called crackly bacon. And my house smelled of the cured meat all day. First off, I let the bacon sizzle in the oven: 10 minutes at 425 on a wire rack over a baking pan.

And then I started to reorganize my long-sleeve shirt drawer, deciding on what to fold and return to the drawer and what to give away, while watching the episode where the girls attend Steve and Aidan’s bar opening; and Bunny shops with Trey and Char for a new bed; and Samantha is a lesbian. Wow I miss Sex and the City. Honestly, though, Carrie should have never gotten back with Aidan. And Carrie should have never married Big at the end of SATC 1. Carrie makes awful choices. It might be why I haven’t seen SATC 2 yet. But please don’t tell me what happens. I will see it as soon as it’s out on DVD.

But before I could decide whether or not to donate that black and white graphic adventure shirt from Barcelona, it was time to cook again. I decided this was the year. 80 and I would finally party with our neighbors – we attended our building’s holiday party.

A.D.D. + Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Homework sucks. Call it burn-out from sixteen years of school. Call it A.D.D.

Nevertheless, I admit to munching on high-sugar kid’s cereal for something to do and wonder: we really ate this for breakfast when we were kids?? No wonder we begged for it, crying and screaming in the grocery store aisles–this shit is freakin’ candy. The cinnamon sugar is coating my fingers and my laptop keyboard.

Wendell, Bob, and Quello (WTF?), the Cinnamon Toast Crunch bakers, certainly did know how to market sugar to children. Like giving candy to a baby…literally. And how noble of them to use “less sugar” than “other kids’ cereals.” There were cereals with more sugar??

Bob and Quello were fired somewhere along the way, and Wendell has been left to grace the box alone. And now, to entice the kids during modern, less-than-stellar Saturday morning cartoonage, the crazy cinnamon sugar squares just eat each other and burp. Nice.

What was your favorite high-sugar kids’ cereal? You know, the one that made you bounce off the walls in school and then crash around 10 AM. You know, the one that was partially responsible for your A.D.D…

in Breakfast 5 comments

by forkitude

Oyster and Banana Runts Ravioli?

One of my favorite dinner games is opening the refrigerator and playing Chopped. Hey, I can pretend. I just love to play with food combinations. Of course, most of them usually taste damn yummy (to me…ahem). But every once in a while one of my bright ideas will be absolutely disgusting and inedible. Enter bologna, cream cheese, and pickle rolls. Sautéed Brussels sprouts topped with a sunny side up egg and sriracha. Bisquick + milk + bowl + microwave + grape jam + syrup + butter. A coffee mug + chocolate cake mix + peanut butter + whipping cream. Tortilla + Kraft singles + cucumbers + barbecue sauce. Soup is one of my favorite things to make, especially in the fall and winter. And following recipes, like a lot of things in my life, is just not acceptable. Why not put the cornbread IN the chili? How about jalapeño poppers in potato soup? (Turns out it doesn’t work too well.) Who would make a chocolate chip cookie stew? Um, yeah. It is a wondrous feat of nature that I don’t weigh 500 lbs.

This got me thinking — which food combination might be the most amazingly disgusting on the planet? I have a few below that would be excitingly terrible, and I would like to know yours, oh fearless ESers. C’mon, give me something really gross. If you’ve made it, great. If you’ve only dreamed of making it, it still counts. Here are mine:

Roasted Garlic Peach Crumble
Mint and Orange Egg Casserole
Cheese Whiz Lime Sorbet
Ground Beef and Mint Chip Ice Cream
Strawberry Peanut Butter Daquiri
Big Red Gum Guacamole
Black Licorice Linguini with Ketchup Mushroom Ragu
Nutella Pickle Relish
Oyster and Banana Runts Ravioli
Broccoli Sea Urchin Maple Scones
Grapefruit Junior Mints Protein Shake with Mustard Cottage Cheese Whipped Topping
Durian Fruit and Shallot Smoothie (if you haven’t tried durian fruit, please go buy one immediately)

in Uncategorized 8 comments

by Borracho

Gridiron Grub: Peach Bourbon Wonton with Gorgonzola Mornay Sauce

If you saw the first post in our Gridiron Grub series, you know that I am a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles. If the fact that I am writing about football food once a week doesn’t turn you off, the fact that I am an Eagles fan might.

Philadelphia sports fans get a pretty bad rap and only some of it is deserved. We’ve been accused of throwing snowballs at Santa, cheering when opposing players get hurt, throwing batteries on the field and earlier this year, there was coverage of this disgusting incident. Particularly well known is Section 700 of the old Veteran’s Stadium. It was home to a group of especially rowdy and inebriated fans.

I have had a difficult time getting excited about this year’s team considering we traded one of the most respectable guys in the league and are now starting the infamous Ron Mexico. Because of this, I have been reminiscing about some of the great times I have had with friends at games through the years.

This week’s recipe I put together as a testament to the 700 Section and all the other fans out there like me. Fiery and sweet; fun and a little boozy.

Top 10 New Foods at the 2010 State Fairs

With all due respect to George Washington Carver, America’s greatest food inventions have all originated in one place — the state fair. From cotton candy to corn dogs to deep-fried Coke, the enterprising folks at America’s state and county fairs top themselves year after year. Some observers thought state fair cooks had hit their peak last year, when the Texas State Fair debuted Deep Fried Butter. But in 2010, they outdid themselves once again, proving that if it’s edible, it’s even better battered and fried. From coast to coast (but mostly in the middle) here are our top ten favorite finds:

10. Hash Brown Hot Dog – San Diego County Fair

Hot dogs with french fries is a pretty fantastic lunch, but boy it takes a lot of effort to transport all those individual fries from the plate to your mouth. If only we could get the hot dog and the potato to be one cohesive unit, preferably arranged on a stick. Thank you, San Diego. Thank you. (Photo: It’s Holly)

9. Deep-Fried Cheddar-Bacon Mashed Potatoes…On a Stick – Minnesota State Fair

Sorry, San Diego — did you really think you could best the Midwest at spuds-on-a-stick? Here, Minnesota achieves the state fair trifecta — potatoes, pork and cheese — all deep fried, all on a stick. For more of Minnesota’s many, many state fair foods, check out Baking Junkie’s heart-stopping food crawl through the MN State Fair. (Photo: Baking Junkie)

8. Garbage Burger – Indiana State Fair

It’s the great state fair dilemma. Should pork be the basis of your dish — or a topping? In Indiana, this is not a problem. Behold the garbage burger — a deep-fried pork patty topped with a healthy serving of pulled pork. Why settle for one pig when you can have two? See more at The Hot Cookie. (Photo: Sarah Richcreek)

7. Deep-Fried Frito Pie – Texas State Fair

No other state takes this season as seriously as Texas, the good people who started the deep-fried everything movement with their corn dog in 1942 and haven’t looked back since. Earlier this week, ES told you about frito pies — those delicious piles of chili-topped corn chips. One guess what Texas has gone and done to ’em. (Photo: Texas Fried Frito Pie)

6. Deep Fried Klondike Bar – San Diego State Fair

California continues its surprisingly strong showing by having the cojones to throw a chocolate-covered ice cream bar in the deep fryer. This one’s more concept than execution, because not so surprisingly, it’s a total disaster to eat. My Burning Kitchen has more. (Photo: My Burning Kitchen)

Next: Top 5 New Foods at the 2010 State Fairs

in Cheese / Desserts / Featured / Food Travel / Lists / Pig 42 comments

by gansie

Talk Like a Pirate Day

I’ve definitely ranted about all of those “Day of Days,” as I so eloquently called the phenomenon. A day for soft serve ice cream, a day for mustard, a day for bulk foods…

Anyway, I think I may have found the best “day of” yet: Talk Like a Pirate Day. Which of course, is today, September 19th.

I don’t know what may pop into your head when you hear “pirate” – is it Peter Pan, Pittsburgh baseball, puffed rice? Well for me, it’s a quote from the best movie of all time: PCU.

Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can’t control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man’s job!

President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn’t provoked them, we wouldn’t BE in this mess!

Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!

[turns on Droz]

Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters…

Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?

Rand: The BUTT-PIRATES! And those beastly man-haters, tell those chicks to shave their pits then call me! And those goddamn whiny crybaby minorities, you can keep them all!

[Rand realizes that Droz had a microphone close by and that the sign lady has been signing everything he said]

Droz: [to the students] Rand McPherson, everybody. And don’t forget the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Enjoy the veal!

[the students then go after Rand]

Rand: I scheme and plan for MONTHS and it gets screwed up because YOU can’t control the students! NEVER send a woman to do a man’s job!

President Garcia-Thompson: You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite! If you hadn’t provoked them, we wouldn’t BE in this mess!

Rand: Whoa! Reality check here! Earth to TALL BITCH! What is your fault? THIS IS!

[turns on Droz]

Rand: Hey, poor boy! Go and have all your parties with all your new friends! I can see it now, Andrews. You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding-heart liberals, sipping tea and playing patty-cake. And those useless hippie pot-heads, those commie-pinko leftists. The bunny huggers, the pillow biters…

Droz: Whoa! Whoa! Which ones are the pillow biters again?

Rand: The BUTT-PIRATES! And those beastly man-haters, tell those chicks to shave their pits then call me! And those goddamn whiny crybaby minorities, you can keep them all!

[Rand realizes that Droz had a microphone close by and that the sign lady has been signing everything he said]

Droz: [to the students] Rand McPherson, everybody. And don’t forget the 9:30 show is completely different than the 7:30 show. Enjoy the veal!

[the students then go after Rand]

To celebrate this pirate madness, Pirate’s Booty is giving away a chest of goodies to one of our readers.

We’ll pick a commenter by random, but just leave a comment in this post about anything, hopefully about pirates, but Eagles football will work too. Oh, or about food.

Here are some pirate-speak definitions to inspire your comments.

Comments are due midnight EST, Monday, September 20th.

Scallywag – Mild insult similar to rapscallion or rouge.

Scurvy Dog – The pirate talking directly to you with mild insult.

Shiver me timbers! – Comparable to “Holy crap!”

Son of a biscuit eater – Insult directed towards someone you don’t like.

Three sheets to the wind – Someone who is very drunk.

And of course

Pirate’s Booty! – Pirate’s treasure and also a favorite snack that’s’ good anytime! Pirate’s Booty is a deliciously baked rice and corn puff that’s baked, all-natural trans-fat and gluten-free.

in Contests 3 comments

by gansie

Ignoring Butter

The scene: Hannah G’s, Ventnor, NJ.

“Can I have the crab and artichoke dip and the Chamberlain salad (mixed greens, red onion, shredded swiss, cashews and apples with a sweet & sour vinaigrette) to share. I’ll have the spaghetti. Thanks.” (Whole wheat spaghetti, with butternut squash, fried fresh sage & organic spinach. And holy crap they ended up pan-frying the entire dish so the noodles were slightly crisp and the squash tasted like sweet potato fries.)

“And I’ll have the nut-crusted salmon with sides of snap peas and garlic mashed potatoes,” 80 excitedly said.

“Okay, I’ll bring out some bread and potato chips,” the waiter said as he walked inside.

Potato chips! Potato chips!

Of course I love bread and butter. In fact, I barely can tolerate bread and oil. I really only use the bread as a vehicle for butter. But, anyway, even though we ordered a fuck load of food, we were pumped for those chips.

Although, I was nervous for too crunchy, kettle-style chips. Instead we received crisp, yet slightly bendy, potato-flavored chips. Dipped in a garlic mayo.

And I ignored the butter. When was the last time you ignored bread and butter?

in Restaurants 1 comments