Or the pseudo-chefs. Whatever. Here’ s your periodic hott links gossip roundup:
– Padma Lakshmi gives further details on her plans to take over the universe. [VF]
– Roseanne threatens to sue Nigella [Food Network Addict]
– The Amateur Gourmet finds the elusive Frank Bruni. CIA to ask if he can track down Bin Laden.
Photo: VF
ES has been getting so famous lately, that I know it may be hard to keep up. Today, my world-renowned eating habits are covered by D.C. food blogger extraordinaire metrocurean, in her weekly feature ‘Five Bites.’
Metrocurean is an awesomely obsessive guide to the District’s restaurants, and holds a special place for us here at Endless Simmer. A few months back, Gansie submitted her own five bites, prompting me to say “Wait a minute – you should have your own food blog!” Several ‘OMGs,’ many ‘aaaaaaahs,’ and countless puns later, Endless Simmer was born.
Thanks for reading and be sure to check out Five Bites at metrocurean.
– If you know your fruit loops from your booberries, you’ll ace this retro cereal quiz. [Mental Floss, via Slashfood]
– An oldie but a goodie: Can you tell which faces are from the Food Network and which are from the Spice Network? A little easy for all you foodie freaks, but still hilarious. [Details]
– Pardon me, would you happen to have any corn nuts? If you think that sounds right, you’re probably not cut out for this food pop culture IQ quiz [Food Network]
Our new foodie friend over at So Good has been making it his full-time job to ridicule corporate America’s latest attempt to get hip with the kids. It all started with this New York Times article profiling Kraft Foods’ new youthful marketing strategy.
The idea is centered around a Kraft Singles MySpace page where young ‘uns have the chance to upload videos documenting their passion for American cheese, with the chance to win $50,000 and have their homemade spot turned into a TV commercial.
After checking it out, So Good made fun of the fact that Kraft had yet to make a single MySpace friend, not even Ryan Gosling.
That’s when Kraft went all Troll Foods on So Good, dispensing their VP of Marketing for Cheese and Dairy (actual title) to comment on his blog, telling him to “check his facts,” because Kraft was totally gonna make all kinds of friends, loser.
Read More›Check your facts. MySpace won’t allow you to become a friend until the contest starts tomorrow. Kraft Singles will have a bunch of friends. Everybody likes grilled cheese. Especially if you make it with Kraft Singles.
Some news you can use about food yo’ broke ass will never be able to taste:
– New York’s millionaires enter crisis mode as the price of white truffles soar. In an effort to explain, the New York Post may have broken their own world record for most nonsensical metaphors in one article.
– But don’t worry, Grub Street points out you can still get a white truffle bagel if you’re willing to drop a grand on it. Add poppy seeds for an extra $500.
– For those of you who are confused, here’s an explanation of why these magic-less mushrooms have everyone in such a tizzy.
Photo: Reuters
Not that he had much of a chance, but this makes it official. And it has nothing to do with the fact that he may or may not have seven wives, because we would totally vote for Bill Henrickson.
It’s his food knowledge we’re calling into question. Check out this video on Wonkette, in which the great Mormon hope visits the Greenville, South Carolina Chili Cook-off, and makes three unforgivable food faux pas:
1- How hilarious is his over-endorsement of that ice cream? Even for Mr. Optimism, he goes a little overboard there. I have a hard time believing it is really quite that good. He does everything but say “this tastes better than Jesus.”
2- When assaulted by three Hooters girls, Romney passes up a request to endorse their chili. Come on, now – this is an opportunity Bill Clinton never would have missed. Do you know how many Hooters Voters there are in Iowa, Mitt?
3- Finally, Romney is confronted by a giant banana. Mitt’s response: “What are you, a pepper?” What?!? Seriously, who can’t recognize a banana? How does that look like a pepper? Get yourself off the campaign trail and into the kitchen, Mitt. Disgraceful.
Stay tuned for future ES unendorsements. So far, Hillary is in trouble ever since she called us fat, but Fred “grits n’ bacon” Thompson is looking pretty good, assuming he stays off that diet.
Photo: The Onion.
*Breaking News*
Food Network now comes in HD! And the first show 80P taped for me – an Alton Brown “Good Eats” special on **avocados** !!!
So, there I am, working on a blog post and thinking to myself, “I’m the avocado queen, I can surely show Big A a thing or two…”
Yea, um, what he did with the “alligator pear” is way beyond my capabilities. Although, this has forced me to think about my dedication to the lovely fruit, and I’m in. Alton – it’s a challenge. I will think of something so crazy, so out there, so fucking delicious, you’ll just beg me to guest star on your next avocado themed show.
Mr. Brown’s avocado creations:
Read More›