Bacon - - Page 27

by gansie

Friday Fuck Ups: Only Gansie Would Call This a Fuck Up

First though, who is going to see the new Biggie movie, NOTORIOUS! Ever since I was in the movie theater viewing previews before Will Smith’s terrible/weird/depressing/dark/not holiday-uplifting movie, and saw clips for NOTORIOUS my brother and I looked at each other and said, I know what I’ll be doing January 16th. Unfortunately, my brother lives in Jersey and we haven’t yet coordinated travel plans. As a back up, I’ve been trying to talk 80p into it, but he says if there is no *critical acclaim* for a movie in the commercials, then that’s a surefire sign it will SUCK. But, I’m such a Biggie fan. He was the rapper of my youth. I was way more upset when he died than Kurt Cobain.

[youtube sCa-ORiKaEw]

Me and My Bitch is a love song.

[youtube 6sS6M_0ITyA]

This is one of the only songs with “Stefanie” in it—my birth name—listen around the minute mark.

[youtube r9U99nMZ8CE]

And is there a better song to slow dance to?

Anyway, if there’s someone in the DC area who wants to take me on a NOTORIOUS date, I’m all over it.

Back to the Fuck Up…

by BS

Burning Questions: What to Eat When the Zombies Come

Here at ES, we try to answer all your important food related questions, like why you can never match a tupperware to its lid, and what Padma Lakshmi was wearing yesterday. But while we’re off being frivolous, some people are actually focused on the big picture.

So I for one really appreciate Asylum’s recent article Apocalypse Chow: Cooking in the End Times, which offers some very helpful hints for what to eat when the zombies come. Am I the only one whose favorite scene in 28 Days Later was when they broke into the supermarket and got to eat as much chocolate as they wanted? And did anyone else cry during I am Legend when they finally got to eat bacon?

Seriously though, read this article! You’re gonna thank me when the end times come and everyone else is eating spam. Here are my fav hints:

in Bacon 4 comments

by BS

ES Editors’ Choice Awards: Best Food Moments of 2008

OK you’ve had your say readers. Hezbollah Tofu is the Eater of the Year. But you know what? This is a food-tatorship, not a food-ocracy, and you didn’t really think we were going to let you lowly readers get the last say, did you? In all seriousness, thanks for voting, but we want to continue the award season silliness and call out a few more of our favorite eating moments of 2008. What were your favorite moments? Holler back.

Most Improved Eater: The Political Media

There’s been a lot of criticism of the MSM this year — they were in the tank for Obama! They forgot to report about the war! They can’t afford to print papers! — but here at ES we noticed a marked improvement. Throughout the campaign, we could barely turn on our TV or crack open a magazine without learning important breaking news about what one candidate or another was eating. Hillary stops for ice cream! Huckabee fries squirrels! McCain gained five pounds! It was beautiful. I mean, look at this recent page from the Huffington Post. Not one, not two, but three top-of-page stories about what Barack Obama is eating this week — and he’s on vacation. Keep up the good work in 2009, media.

Best Food TV Moment

There is staged reality TV lameness, and then there are inevitable unexpected moments of genius. Top Chef 5 is not even halfway through, but we suspect we’ve already seen this season’s high-point: Ice Queen Padma Lakshmi, usually so adept at keeping her judgely emotions under wraps, simply lost it upon taking one bite of Jersey housewife Ariane’s super-sweet cherry surprise and literally gagged on it. Padma felt so bad about actually spitting out Ariane’s food that she let the old lady win every challenge since then. We don’t even care who wins Top Chef this year. We’ll just remember this one shining moment.

Best Use of Bacon

As you know, the best use of bacon of course means the most outlandish use of bacon. A dish that doesn’t crumble bacon or garnish with bacon, but creates something so bacon-y extravagant that your heart hurts just looking at it. FoodProof wins this one by a landslide with their remarkable woven bacon and cheese roll. Death on a plate in just seven easy steps.

More awards after the jump…

in Bacon / Celebs / Cheese / Drinks / Politics / TV 6 comments

by BS

Top 10 Stocking Stuffers for Foodies

OK fine, we realize no one is likely getting us any of these outrageous food gifts this year. But here are a few last-minute ideas for some cheapo gifts to toss in your favorite foodie’s Christmas stocking or Hanukaa lederhosen.

10. USB Flash Food Drives

Is that a watermelon in your pocket or 350 megabytes of digital information? We think these nifty USB drives — which also come in hamburger, sushi, and strawberry — might just make us hungry all day long, but what a great idea to treat the food blogger on your list to.

9. One Click Butter Cutter

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” quite like “here’s a way to control how much butter you eat.” But if one of your loved ones has an unfortunate tendency to eat the whole stick, you might want to consider one of these handy butter portion control devices, which ensure you get just one little pat each morning.

8. Bacon Bubbles

For those of you who treat your pet dog less like a companion and more like an amusement, you’ll enjoy watching Fido (or BS) jump around the room for hours on end chasing an endless stream of bacon-smelling bubbles. Honestly, I think this might actually be a torture device.

7. Barack Obama’s Favorite Chocolates

We know you’ve got at least one on your list — the creepily obsessed hope-monger who shrieks with joy at the mere mention of anything Obama-related. (OMG did you hear who’s being considered for deputy undersecretary of agriculture? I totally can’t even believe it!) The Haphazard Gourmet Girls point us towards Barack’s favorite sweet treat — the smoked salt caramels dipped in milk chocolate from Seattle’s Fran’s Chocolates. Guaranteed to bring you one step closer to Barackutopia.

in Bacon / Desserts / Drinks / Endless Bacon / Holiday / Lists / Trends 14 comments

by BS

Holiday Snack Alert

– Did you ever say to yourself, ‘man, chex mix is such a damn good snack, I don’t think it could possibly get any better?’ Well it did. If you know me at all, you have one guess what the secret ingredient is. [SF Gate] (via Serious Eats)

Photo: Hellospuntnik

in Bacon / Holiday 6 comments

by BS

Butter Up That Butternut

You all know I’m an omnivore, meaning I’ll eat just about anything that’s put in front of me, so I rarely consider a meal based on what it doesn’t have. But I do have to look out for bacon-less dishes I can make with the veggie gf. Usually these involve some kinda vegetable and a whole lot of cheese. Honestly, I don’t think I could date a vegan, I don’t know how they do it.

Anyway, on a recent visit to ES’ mid-atlantic branch, I was inspired by a menu item at the infamous Tonic, a roasted winter squash stuffed with veggies and topped with crumbled blue cheese. Our resident veggie lactard Maidelitalia tried to order it without the blue cheese but found out it was roasted with butter (see! you can’t take them anywhere!). I wanted to get it but wasn’t really hungry enough for a full meal so I just had a cup of French onion soup, and that way I got my cheese and my bacon all in one (I hope no veggies thought that one was safe, sorry to ruin it if so).

Anyway, next time we went shopping for dinner, this is what I suggested…

in Bacon / Cheese / Personal / Veggie 9 comments

by BS

The Top 10 Most Outrageous Holiday Gifts for Foodies

I’m sick and tired of reading about ideas for recession-era holiday gifts. We have one little global financial meltdown and all of a sudden we’re all supposed to do our Christmas shopping at Family Dollar? I don’t think so. This is Christmas! The season of greed and gluttony! The time for Americans to dig ourselves into a financial, spiritual, and health hole so deep that it lasts until Spring. Christmas is no time to start cutting up our credit cards and pulling ourselves out of this financial mess.

The “experts” keep telling us we’re in this recession thing for the long haul, so what harm could one more season of unnecessary overspending do? In that heartwarming holiday spirit, may we present the Top 10 Most Outrageous Holiday Gifts for Foodies, celebrating the best in kitchen presents that are insanely overpriced, shamelessly unitasking, and utterly, completely necessary.

10. Dough-Nu-Matic Automatic Dougnut Machine

I love America’s favorite fried cake treat as much as the next staunch patriot, but donuts fall firmly into the category of things we should not be allowed to make at home. Especially in a gizmo that “automatically forms, fries and drains delectable mini-doughnuts in just 50 seconds!” This is just not right. I am envisioning a dark future in which a nation of 1,000-pound Americans never leave home, unable to lure themselves away from the glazed goodness that is automatically shot into our mouths every 50 seconds. Also, I really want one of these.

9. Aerogarden Elite Garden

I want to be a good locavore, I really do. It would be so great to have fresh basil and lettuce and tomatoes all growing in my backyard. But it all sounds so…dirty. Not anymore. This do-it-yourself (but don’t do much) kit comes complete with a ready-to-go package of seeds, is automatically set to adjust for the most appropriate lighting, and doesn’t even require soil (WTF? How?) It even alerts you when your plants need to be watered. Good luck explaining to the DEA officer that it really is oregano.

8. Peanut Butter of the Month Club

OK, so January is creamy, February is chunky, but what comes after that? I’m really not sure, but if peanut butter is the next thing we’re supposed to get food-snobby about, count me in! This gift features 12 “limited-production, specialty-flavored peanut butters from boutique peanut butter producers nationwide.” Who knew there was even such a thing as a “boutique peanut butter producer?!” For the low-low price of $215, you can spend the whole year telling your friends that you’re really into raspberry white chocolate peanut butter, cinnamon currant peanut butter, or truffle foie gras peanut butter laced with PCP! OK, I made that last one up but the others are real. Amazing!

in Bacon / Desserts / Drinks / Holiday / Lists / Pig / Red Meat 35 comments