OK you’ve had your say readers. Hezbollah Tofu is the Eater of the Year. But you know what? This is a food-tatorship, not a food-ocracy, and you didn’t really think we were going to let you lowly readers get the last say, did you? In all seriousness, thanks for voting, but we want to continue the award season silliness and call out a few more of our favorite eating moments of 2008. What were your favorite moments? Holler back.
Most Improved Eater: The Political Media
There’s been a lot of criticism of the MSM this year — they were in the tank for Obama! They forgot to report about the war! They can’t afford to print papers! — but here at ES we noticed a marked improvement. Throughout the campaign, we could barely turn on our TV or crack open a magazine without learning important breaking news about what one candidate or another was eating. Hillary stops for ice cream! Huckabee fries squirrels! McCain gained five pounds! It was beautiful. I mean, look at this recent page from the Huffington Post. Not one, not two, but three top-of-page stories about what Barack Obama is eating this week — and he’s on vacation. Keep up the good work in 2009, media.
Best Food TV Moment
There is staged reality TV lameness, and then there are inevitable unexpected moments of genius. Top Chef 5 is not even halfway through, but we suspect we’ve already seen this season’s high-point: Ice Queen Padma Lakshmi, usually so adept at keeping her judgely emotions under wraps, simply lost it upon taking one bite of Jersey housewife Ariane’s super-sweet cherry surprise and literally gagged on it. Padma felt so bad about actually spitting out Ariane’s food that she let the old lady win every challenge since then. We don’t even care who wins Top Chef this year. We’ll just remember this one shining moment.
Best Use of Bacon
As you know, the best use of bacon of course means the most outlandish use of bacon. A dish that doesn’t crumble bacon or garnish with bacon, but creates something so bacon-y extravagant that your heart hurts just looking at it. FoodProof wins this one by a landslide with their remarkable woven bacon and cheese roll. Death on a plate in just seven easy steps.
More awards after the jump…
Most Embarrassing Rachael Ray Moment
Of course, this one should really be a weekly award. From terrorist chic to corn-on-the-cob BJs to just her all-around existence, RayRay never (always) disappoints, and 2008 was no exception. But our favorite Ray-up of the year is just breaking now. Apparently, Rachael has exhausted all her human recipes and has moved on to cooking for puppies. So she published a recipe in this month’s Modern Dog. The problem is, her recipe contains onions, which, well, kind of kill dogs. Another classic move, Rachael. (Photo/Link: Ecorazzi)
Most Unnecessary Product
America’s marketing geniuses come up with a lot of dumb shit for us to buy every year. Pancake batter in a can! Pre-cream-cheesed bagels! But we’re giving this award to the pure idiocy that is the peanut butter slice. Designed especially for people who can’t seem to master that complicated spread with a butter knife maneuver.
Best Celeb Eater
The ES foodarazzi have caught plenty of unsuspecting celebs eating this year — Claire Danes, Al Roker, and James Carville, to name a few — but our fav moment was stumbling upon superblogger Andrew Sullivan — the high-minded pundit of the people, who, despite his fame and accolades, isn’t afraid to get down in the dirt and blog among said people — from a Subway. Remember, if you spy a celeb eating (or really anywhere near food), Send us your shots!
Best Food World Newcomer
Back in February, we told you about the amazing-ness that was Coolio’s new online cooking show. If you’ve somehow forgotten how great it is to watch a washed-up ’90s rapper mumble things like “get yo’ ass over here with that mozzarella,” you should know that there are now a full 10 webisodes of Cooking with Coolio, from swashbucklin’ shrimp to tricked out westside talapia.
Biggest Waste of My Time
Hey did you know Mario Batali and Gwyneth Paltrow can afford to eff around Spain for a month eating everything they see, taking siestas, and pretending they can speak Spanish? Did you also know that watching every moment of that would be incredibly boring? I mean, I know this is PBS, but this snoozefest makes Masterpiece Theatre look like an action movie. Mario is of course forgiven, but seriously Gwyneth, if you simply must be a part of the food world, may we suggest a guest spot on Cooking with Coolio? But please, if France…On the Road Again happens, we’re gonna stop supporting public televison.
Most Obvious Sign Your Life Has Gone in the Wrong Direction
If you come anywhere near a scotch flavored condom. Wow