Attack of the Meme: Suri Cruise, Gossip Columnist

Do you like celeb babies? Do you like celeb gossip? Do you like all things bitchy, catty and totally ridiculous? Welcome to Suri’s Burn Book, a running commentary “from” Suri Cruise about other celeb offspring.

Suri dishes about Cruz Beckham‘s afternoon at Color Me Mine, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett‘s ginger baby (eek recessive genes!)  and – above – how unappetizing Adam Sandler‘s little girl, Sadie, looks while downing a muffin. Showing by example, Suri posts proof that it’s possible to eat while still looking adorable. Oh, Suri.

Hat Tip: Kiki Ryan
(Photo: Suri’s Burn Book)

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UPDATED—Endless Questions: Giada Talks Clinton, WillKat and Mike Isabella

 

UPDATED: Giada is right. Giada told Endless Simmer’s Russell Warnick that Top Chef Alum Mike Isabella planned to open a new restaurant in Georgetown. Simmer’s Stefanie Gans (gansie) called Isabella for confirmation. He denied it. Turns out, the scoop was meant for Washington Post’s dining critic Tom Sietsema and the restaurant is actually in the works.

Eater has the dramatic play-by-play of the restaurant announcement.

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This past weekend DC hosted the 6th annual Metropolitan Cooking and Entertaining Show, a collection of salsas, olive oils and oddly, British cashmere scarves. Not only is it an opportunity for small businesses to present their products to the masses, it’s also a chance for your favorite celebrity chefs to hawk a few books. Guy Fieri was presented to 2,500 military spouses by Dr. Jill Biden while Paula Deen pimped out her Caribbean cruise and Smithfield Ham. The envy of every straight guy out there, I got to speak with Giada De Laurentiis, and yes, she’s as hot in person as she is on TV, even with the cold she was suffering at the time.

Giada spoke of her time cooking for Prince William and Kate, what she’d cook for Bill Clinton and a little gossip about DC’s very own Mike Isabella…

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Plate It or Hate It

Recent food world discoveries the ES crew is loving and hating…

Plate It: Stacker Mallows

We’re usually not partial to Rachel Ray-esque products that dumb down food to the lowest common denominator, but anything that gets s’mores in our mouths quicker is fine by us.

Hate It: Paula Deen’s Butter-Flavored Lip Balm

If you felt the need for a taste in your mouth to remind you all day long that you are an insatiable glutton. (Photo: Holly Bailey, via Grub Street)

Plate It: Ramen to the Rescue

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Bustin’ a Move With Jamaican Jerk Kale Chips

photo: Matthew Wexler

For me, in the battle of savory versus sweet, a bag of chips will trump a pint of ice cream any day. But a recent annual check-up revealed a cholesterol level inching toward the danger zone. While I like to think that I have a sophisticated palette, I’m not beyond polishing off an order of chicken wings during an episode of Dancing with the Stars. (It’s either that or jump out of my 3rd floor window in sheer sequined horror.)

So in an effort to kick off a healthy start to the holidays, I’ve been baking kale chips at home. Kale chips satisfy my savory cravings and are an incredible source of vitamins A, C and K—ack! Vitamin K? This underdog vitamin is important for blood-clotting and bone strength. Two important things for when I’m dancing around my apartment to the monotone musings of Brooke Burke.

Now, we’ve had our fair share of problems mastering kale chips here on ES, so please pay attention.

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Celebs Eat Just Like Us: Mindy Kaling’s Chicken Banh Mi Fixings

Funny girl Mindy Kaling is just like us. She loves eggplant parm sandwiches. She just doesn’t want to spend hours trickin’ out that greasy, cheesy Italian-American staple.

Instead, she quickly tops store-bought rotisserie chicken with a few fresh ingredients for a Banh Mi. While nothing Mindy adds to the sandwich is particularly intriguing—cucumbers, cilantro, Sriracha—her “pickled” carrots deserve a mention.

Sliced “picked” carrots (I quickly julienne two carrots and put them in a tupperware with rice vinegar and a half-teaspoon of sugar and a dash of salt).

Who wants to deal with real pickling? Real canning? Ugh. Do like Mindy. Quickly pickle.

(Photo: The Concerns of Mindy Kaling)

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#OccupyHollywood: Let’s Turn on Foodie Celebs

Looks like the #Occupy gang recently turned on celebs in the well-titled #OccupyHollywood. Of course, the oft-mocked Gwyneth Paltrow couldn’t escape the ire of protesters, er, eh, bloggers. But seriously, if you could afford to put a wood-burning oven in your backyard, wouldn’t you? Could you imagine those awesome dinner parties with intensely smoked veggies and fish and meats and entire cakes made out of s’mores?!

Check out the rest of the overpaid, morally corrupt celebs, especially Mr. Ambiguous Anderson Cooper. Because, as Harvey Milk, said, and I’m paraphrasing here, the more people that come out, the better.

And to keep the convo off food, check it: Will Smith keeps it real.

(Photo: But You’re Like Really Pretty)

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