Cooking with Coolio

Posted on February 12th, 2008 in Celebs, Cheese, Salad, Italian, Veggie by BS

If you thought that Dangerous Minds song was the pinnacle of Coolio’s career, well you were wrong, wrong, wrong, because the flamboyant 90’s rapper “is ’bout to teach yo’ ass how to cook.”

Yes, you read that correctly. In a definitively amazing attempt to heighten his post-Gangtas Paradise career to Flava Flavian proportions, Coolio now has an online cooking show, complete with video hos and and a creepy sidekick. Take if from me, learning to love “Cookin with Coolio” is as easy as 1-2-3-4.

In episode one, Coolio doesn’t actually cook anything, but he does prepare a beautiful caprese salad that is allegedly “better than ‘yo momma’s titties.” I don’t know about all that, but you’ve got to admit, it does look pretty delicious.

Other words of wisdom from Chef Coolio:

- This dish will come in handy if your girlfriend is “one of those salad eating bitches.”

- Go light on the Extra Virgin, because “an oily salad ain’t shit.”

- Also, try to finish off your caprese with a healthy dusting of what may or may not be marijuana, and it helps if you end most sentences by inexplicably yelling “Shaka Zulu.”

Rachael Ray he is not. He is, however, one million times more entertaining than Rachael Ray. And - if you send in the best video response to Coolio’s lesson, you can win an autographed bell pepper!


4 Responses to 'Cooking with Coolio'

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  1. Liza said,

    on February 12th, 2008 at 9:40 am

    Coolio continues to inspire me!
    This is probably the most amazing thing I ever seen.
    Shaka ZULU!!!

  2. JoeHoya said,

    on February 12th, 2008 at 10:23 am

    For some reason, I assumed that anything Coolio would be cooking these days would come with a large drink and a side of fries.

    That being said, the glory of Fantastic Voyage has not dimmed after almost fifteen years.


  3. on February 12th, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    […] the first episode of the actual show is now out. You can visit my buddies over at Endless Simmer and watch it there, or you can see it […]

  4. Jupiter said,

    on March 2nd, 2008 at 8:27 am

    Fucking funny , as hell, Love it!…. looks good, smells good, is good!!!! . Get a real chef to show you how to make what you gonna make before to make it, & look more authentic, And yo shit will be tight. Nice!

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