March Madness: America’s Top 10 Drunk College Foods

5. Clemson – The Super Taco Cuban Torta
Photo: Link

You might assume these fine young ladies and gentlemen are exited about the Clemson Tigers’ stunning upset of Duke in the ACC tournament, but actually, they just ordered Cuban tortas from campus fave Super Taco. I know what you’re saying – a taco place makes Cuban sandwiches? This doesn’t sound very genuine to me. Well stuff it, because genuine is not much of a concern when you are putting an effing hot dog on a Cuban sandwich.

The only thing this bad boy has in common with the o.g. Cuban is bread. A crapload of seasoned pork and ham is topped with a wiener for the least Kosher sandwich of all time. In case that’s not enough fat content for you, this monstrosity comes complete with sour cream, and just for good measure, lettuce and tomato.

4. Long Island University at Brooklyn – Something Different
Photo: A very drunk ES commenter

OK Fine, LIU-Brooklyn isn’t in the tournament this year. But they were the cinderella team a few years back, if I remember correctly.

And they are also the only school with the good sense to locate their campus across the street from Junior’s – the legendary Brooklyn institution that is home to a sandwich so genius it just might make bread obsolete.

The “Something Different” consists of two oversize potato latkes encasing a pile of beef brisket, served with both au jus and apple sauce, for the messiest dipping experience of your life. It’s glorious.

3. University of California at Berkeley – Lothlorien Food Orgy
Photo: College OTR

Lest you think drunken munching is limited to meat-eaters, Berkeley’s bacchanalian vegetarians are standing by to prove you wrong. The all-vegetarian Lothlorien House throws an annual festival of food and love so outrageous that it makes Big Ten frat blowouts look like children’s birthday parties. And the tasty treat in question is, um, you…and the girl next to you…and her sister…and her boyfriend…all covered in chocolate.

Documented details of this mythical rite are both scarce and seductive:

bottomless jugs of wine

as articles of clothing drop, out comes melted chocolate, which gets poured upon everyone

average hookups per person can reach double digits

my armpit hair is all chocolated…must shower now.

Personally, I prefer a party with fewer mentions of pubic hair, but it sure sounds like a drunken, tasty good time.

2. Georgetown/American University – Jumbo Slice
Photo: Selidadsullivan

DC’s sizable fratboy and sorostitute population spend weekend evenings trolling the Adams Morgan nightlife/meat market scene, and no 18th Street bar crawl is complete without a 3 a.m stop for the legendary jumbo slice of pizza.

An actually-bigger-than-your-head mess of flimsy crust, oily cheese and cheap tomato sauce, this is one slice of pizza that couldn’t possibly look appetizing to anyone who has consumed fewer than a dozen beers. But if the timing – and alcohol consumption – is just right, jumbo slice is heaven on a paper plate (two plates, actually).

1. University of Georgia – The Luther Burger
Photo: Texas Burger Guy

The Atlanta metro area is a bastion of larger-than-life, Southern-fried deliciousness. But there’s one food that gives the Bulldogs a leg up on the 63 other teams in the big dance. As the sole tournament team from the Peach State, they’re the only students within driving (designated, please) distance of Mulligan’s Tavern, home to the original Luther Burger.

According to legend, the sandwich was created by the late great Luther Vandross, but the simple genius of the Luther Burger means you can assemble one anywhere in the country for your own drunken, sports-watching enjoyment. There are just four easy steps:

1- Slice a Krispy Kreme donut in half.

2- Grill the donut.

3- Place a delicious bacon cheeseburger in between your grilled donut bun.

4- Eat.

Next: #10 – 6 America’s Top Drunk College Foods

Impressed by that? How about all 68 NCAA March Madness teams ranked by their best drunk college food?

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  • Ramona March 20, 2008  

    Pittsburgh sure does know how to do sandwiches. They also have Primanti Bros. where your sandwich comes with fries and slaw….in the sandwich.
    I ate many of them in the wee hours of the morning….shhhh

  • SAG March 20, 2008  

    Where is the love for Temple, St. Joes, or Villanova??? A local favorite served around these parts is a little piece a heaven called the “BarnYard” a cheese steak and a chicken cheese steak served with bacon and hot sauce. My favorite sandwich that has unfortunately taken 5 years off my life expectancy.

  • belmontmedina March 20, 2008  

    I’m sort of ashamed to admit I had a jumbo slice this weekend. Bright green drinks will do that to you.

  • Alex March 20, 2008  

    As a resident and sometime-defender of the Main Line, I have to support SAG in his protest against the absence of the Philly schools, for the reason that you can also get a mac-and-cheese slice at Peace A Pizza, a Philly-area (and also apparently Florida?) pizza chain. I can only speak personally for the Bryn Mawr store, but their particular genius lies in the sharing of their building with Hope’s Cookies. Mac and Cheese pizza followed by a triple-chocolate cookie? Maybe a triple-chocolate cookie AND a snicker doodle? Yes, please.

    Take that, Wisconsin.

  • Brian March 20, 2008  

    i also liked, and i think tim would agree, the chicken fried grilled cheese from TD’s. three buttery pieces of texas toast, three different cheeses (cheddar, provolone, ???), and three deep fried chicken fingers. ranch dressing for dipping of course.

  • matt March 20, 2008  

    where is the gut-box at fsu? this page is naked without a reference to guthrie’s and the crack sauce. not sure what is in the crack sauce, but man is it tasty. and if you place your dirty coins in it over night, they will be shiny and new the next day!

  • Alex March 20, 2008  

    Brian, I’m shocked.

  • psuboy March 20, 2008  

    Where’s the love for Grilled Stickies from Penn State? Or ACME Pizza?

  • Stefan March 20, 2008  

    Massachusetts…home of Dunkin Donuts. Enough said.

  • AnnaOnTheMoon March 20, 2008  

    I second the grilled stickies! 😀

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  • Tim March 20, 2008  

    V Tech – save it for f’ball season, but you can grab a full smoked turkey leg on your way into the stadium from the beer (and vomit) soaked tailgate spot.

  • Andrew March 20, 2008  

    Agreed with Ramona — Primanti’s is a much more appropriate choice. It’s actually on the Pitt campus as opposed to in the South Side, 15 or so minutes away by bus/car, like Fathead’s.

  • Bennett March 20, 2008  

    Wow – all I want is fatty fried food right now – with a Large Mr. Pibb. I wish I liked basketball more!

  • new hickey March 20, 2008  

    beer me a fat darell, big tuna

  • gansie March 20, 2008  

    give me a jumbo slice, any day.

  • Andrew March 20, 2008  

    Yes on jumbo slice, but Georgetown/American/GW!!!

  • JoeHoya March 20, 2008  

    I have a healthy(?) respect for the Jumbo Slice, but it’s not the quintessential Georgetown drunk food.

    As a former Hoya, I can tell you we swear by the Chicken Madness and Burger Madness at Wisemiller’s, just off of campus. The Chicken Madness features chunks of chicken breast, provolone cheese, onions and peppers on a sub roll with mayo and spices (definitely some cayenne pepper in there). The Burger Madness has two hamburger patties and American cheese.

    Either one is head and shoulders above offerings from the Philadelphia Cheesesteak Factory (aka Filthy Cheese).

  • midge March 20, 2008  

    Ever been to the UB campus in Buffalo, NY? Right across the street you got Amy’s Place. It’s not open late so it’s more for the hangover. Go for Veggie Wet Shoes! Lentils, hot sauce, chopped onion, garlic and tomato over a mound of curly fries with sour cream on top!

  • gansie March 20, 2008  

    JH, you know I love you right, but I have to say: the chicken madness is over rated.

  • 80 Proof March 20, 2008  

    Wow. pure madness Gansie. That’s a damn good sandwich.

  • matt March 21, 2008  

    As a fomer ‘burgher stuck in florida (hence the Guthrie’s/FSU reference) I must say Primaniti’s is good, but the only reason it made the list over Peppi’s is because it is open late. Hit Peppi’s in the strip after happy hour and get yourself a cheesesteak and fries. Not to mention, it is the home of the Roethlisberger. And my cousin is co-owner…shameless plug!

  • Stefan March 21, 2008  

    I have little love for G-Town, but the Chicken Madness is a quality sandwich, I don’t think this is even really up for debate.

  • Tim March 21, 2008  

    You watch your God Damn mouth about Philadelphia Cheesesteak Factory. Their Italian Grinder is the one of the best sandwichs to be had in Washington, DC.

  • Eric March 21, 2008  

    PJ’s in Columbus on the OSU campus has the best drunk food ever created in their line of “fat subs” my personal favorite is the fat bitch – chicken fingers, hot sauce, jalapeno poppers, fries, ranch and bacon

  • steve jones March 21, 2008  

    Did ACME pizza reopen at PSU??? They closed down when I was there because of some stupid law. That place was the greatest!!!!

  • Drew March 21, 2008  

    What are those USD students thinking? Any Carne Asadaophine worth a damn knows that JVs is closer to the USD campus and far superior. Personally, I go for the Tex Mex wet burrito- A glorious buritto with ground beef, fries, sour cream, and spanish rice inside and topped with enchilada sauce.

  • bobby steels March 21, 2008  

    As far as Clemson drunk food is concerned, it all begins and ends at the Dank Dogs cart. As good as Super Taco is, (and it is fucking great) it isn’t open late; Dank Dogs however is only open during drinking hours. Hotdog topped with chili, cheese and fucking Fritos. I challenge you to find any drunk who could pass that up. It’s impossible

  • Snagglepus March 21, 2008  

    UC Berkeley’s veggie food orgy is nothing new. Long ago, before the current generation of college kids was born, a group of friends in Atlanta would get together for thematic feasts. The potato feast was all things potato (Honestly, the things we imagined doing with taters has to be counted in the spuds-per-Idaho category.). No utensils were provided (or allowed). All in attendance were encouraged to use their appendages to feed themselves and others. The Polish vodka definitely contributed to the memorable success of that evening (and the next morning).

  • Predictions Man March 21, 2008  

    Wisconsin still has the best drunk food because they still have the most drunks, rated top binge drinking school by Maxim Mag. Deep fried cheese, brats and warm miller light… love it….

  • Eddie March 22, 2008  

    For all the time I was in Tally, I never experienced the joys of drunken Guthrie’s, but you can’t mention drunken foods without talking about Gumby’s and their Pokey Sticks. Heavenly x 1,000!

  • Widgit March 22, 2008  

    As a neighborhood resident, I am sorry to report that Mulligan’s has gone out of business. Hope you got one while they were hot.

  • Lot Lizard March 22, 2008  

    Time Out! Restaurant in Chapel Hill, NC. Serves a bucket of bones which is basically the leftovers from ripping out chicken breasts to make chicken biscuits. Knew some guys who would regularly jump behind the counter and start serving people to speed things up. Once, when a fellow patron got rowdy, they threw him through the plate glass windows on the front of the place. Now that’s the kind of joint to go to when you’re drunk.

  • Bob Salam March 22, 2008  

    Time Out is also famous for the Chicken and Cheese. An oversize biscuit….cut up fried chicken (as per the previous poster…and then drizzled with cheddar cheese. Nice.

  • Daddy Warbucks March 22, 2008  

    Umm….Monmouth University: Windmill hot dog and cheese fries. ‘Nuff said.

  • Brian March 23, 2008  

    oh, an by the way…i was 100% sober when i took that picture of the ‘something different.’

  • Big Worm March 24, 2008  

    Where are all the people from the Midwest? Most if not all big ten schools have the Burrito as big as your head…La Bamba’s, open from 11 am til the bars close…great burritos at 2 am…nothing beats em….some MVC towns (i.e. bloomington/normal) have 2 locations, one at each bar strip…

  • EdHill March 24, 2008  

    Although I love this list, I have to say that it is really in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is going to defend his or her school as having a top ten eat. Btu tahts the beauty of it, getting the dialogue about really fattening college food going. And when that happens ,everyone wins.

    Therefore I humbly submit my own entrants:

    The Cheeseburger sub at Ted’s grinders, University of Connecticut

    A foot long grinder packed to the gills with about 5 cheeseburger patties. Sure its not as gimmicky as a donut cheeseburger (and honestly, who wants to eat a donut with a cheeseburger?) , but at 1 AM after rolling out of Ted’s bar upstairs, it is truly a lifesaver.

    And as someone who can appreciate the size of the jumbo slice, I think you nailed it on the head as to why it doesn’t deserve to be on there:
    “flimsy crust, oily cheese and cheap tomato sauce”

    Which is why Yale University’s Pepe’s Pizza gets my vote. It’s technically right OFF campus by about a block, but as it’s the greatest pizza known to man, it makes the cut for me.

  • EdHill March 24, 2008  

    The place that sells the “Luther” also sells what I think is a much more superior meal:

    The hamdog. A hot dog wrapped inside a beef patty, deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions, and served on a hoagie roll topped with a fried egg and french fries.

  • looj March 24, 2008  

    paula deen has a luther burger variant that includes a fried egg. i’m not joking.,,FOOD_9936_127127,00.html

  • BS March 24, 2008  

    Bravo. If there was anyone who could out-fat the Luther Burger, it was Paula D.

  • k March 30, 2008  

    you missed university of virginia’s gus burger (from white spot). granted, we can’t make any sort of basketball tournament, but we can throw a fried egg on a burger and make it delicious.

  • Jessi April 10, 2008  

    In the DC Metro Area, there are a few staples for me…

    – Steak ‘N Eggs in Tenleytown… Nothing beats a heart-attack on a plate, and this place has plenty to offer in that regard. No dish specifically, just the restaurant in general.


    – Disco Fries from Broadway Diner in Rockville. These things put just about anything to shame… I don’t know what it is about them. They’re gooey, salty, cheesy, and a huge mess of oh-so-goodness. Mmmmmm.

  • Wendy October 14, 2008  

    Loved the photos! Need to know the name of the pizza joint in DC for “bigger than your head” slice.

  • John Taylor October 21, 2008  

    I love that luther burger – a real heart attack on a plate. I reckon this recipe’s better:

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  • ZOU June 29, 2009  

    El Rancho in Columbia, Missouri has an almost two foot burrito that the drunks, including myself, love to put down after penny pitchers or quarter drafts.

  • Aaron Fitz July 4, 2009  

    Filibertos is the best drunk college food around. Open 24 hours EVERY DAY. Each one also comes with the coolest late night guys.

  • Sports Picks September 10, 2009  

    Wisconsin has all the best late night food, props for a great blog post

  • Josh October 22, 2009  

    Nice article. I’m getting pretty hungry looking at some of those disgusting pictures…

    BTW, a group of friends and I recently launched our own college foodzine– . Feel free to stop on by or submit an article!

  • freeroll November 10, 2009  

    Ahh, the best food when you feel “like that” 🙂

  • Courtney November 29, 2009  

    Come to Canada. Specifically Nova Scotia.
    We are the masters of the two following cocepts that WILL change your drunk eating world:

    1. Donairs. A Halifax Donair is similar to a normal doner kebab, with a spiced ground beef loaf that is cooked on a spit and shaved off in simultaneously crunchy and chewy slices and served in a pita with tomatoes and onions. The secret, however, is in the sweet evaporated milk-based garlic sauce. Any true Haligonian donair will be so soaked in sauce that attempts to pick it up will be fruitless… but we try anyway. Variations on the Halifax donair: Donair pizza, with the sauce served on the side (cheese, donair meet, tomatoes, onions, no sauce.), donair egg rolls (an egg roll casing stuffed with donair meat), donair calzones/panzerottis, and donair poutine (french fries topped with cheese curds, donair meat and donair sauce).

    Not a very good photo, but close to a Halifax Donair:
    Donair pizza:

    2. Garlic fingers. Garlic fingers are a solely Atlantic Canadian dish. They are found in pizza shops, like the donair, and similar in shape, size and construction. The dough is normal pizza dough, infused with garlic, and then topped with melted butter, garlic and cheese. Occasionally, pizza shops will include bacon if you ask. It is cut into thin rectangular strips, ‘fingers,’ and is is often eaten as a side dish with pizza. We dip them in the same yummy sauce that we put on our donairs, and many people even like to dip their pizza in this sticky sweet sauce. Afsgmhaejthkaemtgbf. I want some now and I’m not even drunk.

    Garlic fingers:

    Eat your heart out, America! (literally. Come to Nova Scotia right now and I will get drunk with you and we will eat until our hearts fall out.)

  • Steph December 11, 2009  

    Anyone who has been to Western NY knows “garbage plate” like the back of their hand. It is the official drunk college meal d’jour.
    This should spread to all states.

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  • MU Grad April 19, 2011  

    I can’t believe Miami of Ohio’s “Clinton” didn’t make this list… a megapacked grilled cheese with a piece of pizza logged between two pieces of bread. It may be the single-out source of midwestern college obesity.

  • autumn July 3, 2011  

    Um, in Pittsburgh, I think you should’ve put a Primanti Bro’s sandwich.. It’s amazing drunk food.. beer sponges, to be precise.

  • Matthew April 5, 2012  

    Hey, I enjoy this site and I know this article is super old…

    But “fratboys and sorostitutes”? Seriously, the males in that (sexist, degrading, laughable) system are so much worse than the ladies, can we hate on them instead?

  • Matthew April 5, 2012  

    – that former comment contains the slightest misquote…

    but it’s negligible and the point is still valid.

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