March Madness: America’s Top 10 Drunk College Foods
5. Clemson – The Super Taco Cuban Torta
You might assume these fine young ladies and gentlemen are exited about the Clemson Tigers’ stunning upset of Duke in the ACC tournament, but actually, they just ordered Cuban tortas from campus fave Super Taco. I know what you’re saying – a taco place makes Cuban sandwiches? This doesn’t sound very genuine to me. Well stuff it, because genuine is not much of a concern when you are putting an effing hot dog on a Cuban sandwich.
The only thing this bad boy has in common with the o.g. Cuban is bread. A crapload of seasoned pork and ham is topped with a wiener for the least Kosher sandwich of all time. In case that’s not enough fat content for you, this monstrosity comes complete with sour cream, and just for good measure, lettuce and tomato.
OK Fine, LIU-Brooklyn isn’t in the tournament this year. But they were the cinderella team a few years back, if I remember correctly.
And they are also the only school with the good sense to locate their campus across the street from Junior’s – the legendary Brooklyn institution that is home to a sandwich so genius it just might make bread obsolete.
The “Something Different” consists of two oversize potato latkes encasing a pile of beef brisket, served with both au jus and apple sauce, for the messiest dipping experience of your life. It’s glorious.
3. University of California at Berkeley – Lothlorien Food Orgy
Photo: College OTR
Lest you think drunken munching is limited to meat-eaters, Berkeley’s bacchanalian vegetarians are standing by to prove you wrong. The all-vegetarian Lothlorien House throws an annual festival of food and love so outrageous that it makes Big Ten frat blowouts look like children’s birthday parties. And the tasty treat in question is, um, you…and the girl next to you…and her sister…and her boyfriend…all covered in chocolate.
Documented details of this mythical rite are both scarce and seductive:
Personally, I prefer a party with fewer mentions of pubic hair, but it sure sounds like a drunken, tasty good time.
2. Georgetown/American University – Jumbo Slice
DC’s sizable fratboy and sorostitute population spend weekend evenings trolling the Adams Morgan nightlife/meat market scene, and no 18th Street bar crawl is complete without a 3 a.m stop for the legendary jumbo slice of pizza.
An actually-bigger-than-your-head mess of flimsy crust, oily cheese and cheap tomato sauce, this is one slice of pizza that couldn’t possibly look appetizing to anyone who has consumed fewer than a dozen beers. But if the timing – and alcohol consumption – is just right, jumbo slice is heaven on a paper plate (two plates, actually).
1. University of Georgia – The Luther Burger
Photo: Texas Burger Guy
The Atlanta metro area is a bastion of larger-than-life, Southern-fried deliciousness. But there’s one food that gives the Bulldogs a leg up on the 63 other teams in the big dance. As the sole tournament team from the Peach State, they’re the only students within driving (designated, please) distance of Mulligan’s Tavern, home to the original Luther Burger.
According to legend, the sandwich was created by the late great Luther Vandross, but the simple genius of the Luther Burger means you can assemble one anywhere in the country for your own drunken, sports-watching enjoyment. There are just four easy steps:
1- Slice a Krispy Kreme donut in half.
2- Grill the donut.
3- Place a delicious bacon cheeseburger in between your grilled donut bun.
Impressed by that? How about all 68 NCAA March Madness teams ranked by their best drunk college food?
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