Thanking the Pre-Made Pastry Gods: Guinness, Leek and Steak Pie

I’ve been on a little bit of a pastry kick recently. I’m not sure if it’s due to the season and it just seems more homely and warming or the fact that every time my other half bakes he shows me up to my friends. See, I’m the cook in my house and that’s the way it’s going to stay.

However, puff pastry is something I’ve not experimented with and it intimidates me. I’ll spend all afternoon working hard on preparing a delicious filling like this Guinness, Leek and Steak Pie for it all to fail should I not get the puff pastry right — which is why I thank the pre-made pastry gods. Why do I need to make my own puff pastry when I can find it in the frozen food aisle?

The sweetness from the leeks and bold flavor of the Guinness is a perfect marrying of flavors to compliment the meat, the beautiful meat that falls apart to the touch of the fork. So should your pastry making skills fail you, like mine often do, this pie filling would be perfect in a bowl as you are curled up in your leopard print snuggie in front of the television… Did I just say that out loud!

For the recipe, keep reading.

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Chocolate and Beer Filled Donuts

What could be more loving than breakfast in bed with a serving of chocolate and beer deep fried to donut perfection? Yep, it’s time to bring your romanticism (and gluttony) to the forefront this Valentine’s Day with these Chocolate and Beer Filled Donuts.

I know one dessert does not fit all, so of course you can couple your chocolate with just about anything — Scotch, Cognac, or even no alcohol at all. This recipe is highly adaptable, so throw in what you like. Shoot, throw in a mini Snickers Bars if that’s your mix for a bit of joie de vivre on your love day celebration.

Chocolate and Beer Filled Donuts

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An Ode to a Clear Kitchen

It’s hard for me to say anything but “NO” when I see this gadget. How could there be anything more unnecessary than a banana slicer?

We pack our lives with things and stuff. And things and stuff. And things and stuff. The kitchen is the recipient of many of our purchases, from the crucial cast iron pot to the you’ll-use-it-once Dough-Nu-Matic Automatic Dougnut Machine. I scroll through friends’ wedding registries knowing the happy couple will never use half the knives in their over-priced set. And of course that famed waffle maker will never leave its box. Maybe for their first anniversary, a cute breakfast-in-bed, but then it will lead a lonely life in the corner of a dark closet.

And then there’s this fucking thing. This Bananza. Calling to our desire for a quick fix. For an easy way out. This device won’t help you eat more bananas. It won’t help you lose weight. You’ll realize this device isn’t any easier than using a knife. This device will clog up your drawer just like the avocado slicer and pitter. This device will remind you that stuff is just stuff. And more stuff doesn’t create anything but a mess.

And no, my lovely boyfriend, this doesn’t mean I won’t come home from my trip to Seattle without more items to fill the kitchen. I just bought apple smoked fleur de seul, in fact. But I thought writing this ode to a clear kitchen might ease the pain of new friends coming back with me.

A Different Type of Super Bowl Grub

Never afraid to objectify women, PETA’s latest campaign for an animal cruelty-free world certainly plays up the old notion that certain vegetables look just like men’s certain private parts.

In honor of Super Bowl XLV, here is a NSFW preview of the most offense commercial you will (probably not) see Sunday night.

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

– To be filed under Endless Simmer changes the world, we hear D.C. restaurant ChurchKey can barely keep up with the increased demand for its version of the Luther, ever since ES crowned it the best new sandwich in America. As We Love DC reports:

The Luther’s new-found fame, however, may be its undoing. By the time we ordered our second one (ed. note: bravo), around 1:30pm, the kitchen had already run out of donuts and was scrambling to make more. The manager assured us that we would get our second sandwich, but hinted that we were lucky, since they might not be able to serve them much further into the afternoon. Although reportedly served during an eight hour window on Sundays, the time frame for sampling this creation might be more like three or four hours. Go early to sample, but be prepared to hit the gym on Monday extra hard to work it off.

ChurchKey owners, just let us know what our percentage is for all these extra sandwiches you’re selling. By the way, I’m happy to report We Love DC backs up our adulation of the New Luther:

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Super Bowl Breakfast Of Champions

With all of the nacho cheese concoctions, mini burgers, and bacon cupcake recipes floating around for super bowl Sunday, I think we’re still missing something: super bowl breakfast. You can’t start a day of eating as many calories as a linebacker without a nice hearty breakfast. My thought process was as follows: super bowl…beer…beer bread…eggs…sunnyside up egg on beer bread toast…touchdown! With this little number, you can have your beer right when you wake up on Sunday morning, and no one can say, “Um, isn’t it a little early to start drinking?” No, no it’s not, because I’m making breakfast. I win.

Beer bread it one of the easiest breads to make because you don’t have to knead it or let it rise or mess with yeast. If you don’t bake, don’t worry. If you can use an oven, it will be delicious.

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Super Bowl Grub: Pub Food Triple Play

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of bar food, my waistline can attest to that. However, the biggest conundrum I encounter when I find myself seated atop a bar stool with a pint of beer is what to order — there really are so many great choices. Chicken tenders, nachos, potato skins, how to choose!

From time to time I’ll have a light bulb moment and with what I’m about to tell you is, I think, one of my best light bulb moments ever, and just in time for the Super Bowl.

Potato skins loaded with nachos and topped with chicken tenders. Incredible.

Read on for the recipe.

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