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by bakersroyale

Man-Whore Bars: Chocolate-Chip-Oreo-Peanut-Butter-Cup-Rice-Krispie-Treat-Chocolate-Ganache

I realize I’ve been a bit MIA, but lets make-up. To start, I bring you Man-Whore Bars. Remember Slutty Brownies? Well these guys make those look downright prude. These bars are appropriately named since they contains 4 desserts in one–2 cookies (chocolate chip and Oreos); candy (Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups); rice krispie treats; and chocolate ganache—plus more chocolate chip cookies for a final sprinkling.

Damn, right? I thought so.

Now more importantly, I’m on a mission to mainstream these like Jessica Simpson did for the Slutty Brownies on Katie Couric’s show. Which by the way, I birthed the cousin to those slut brownies with these Slutty Cheesecake Bars—seriously damaging stuff. But this–this, might be my all-time favorite over-the-top bar and the follow-up to the slutties.

So can I ask you guys a favor? {lease make these, pass them around and proudly refer to them as Man-Whores Bars, because maybe then they will reach Ryan Gosling who can then explain them to Katie.

Ah, you guys are fantastic. I’m so glad to be back, now let’s get busy and make some bars.

Man-Whore Bars

by bakersroyale

Endless Poptails: Orange Creamsicles

Competing against the fruit based poptails this week is an ice cream based poptail. Remember those orange creamsicles when you were a kid–bright sugar glowing orange on the outside and ice cream on the inside around the stick?

I’m here this week to bring back that bit of nostalgia with an adult twist, but without any adult complication.

In staying that with that theme, I skipped the sheathing or any swirling or layering finishing effect for a 1 bowl, 3 ingredient, simple-style poptail. That’s right I threw the chopped up Valencia oranges, vanilla ice cream and Marshmallow vodka all into a food processor bowl and pulse, whirl, pour – done. It’s spot on like the orange creamsicle but with a heavy hint of booziness.

Parting note: Forget the napkins, popsicle drips are best wiped away by using the front of your shirt -just ask any kid.

Orange Creamsicle Poptails

in Desserts / Endless Ice Cream / Endless Poptails / Recipe 3 comments

by bakersroyale

Endless Poptails: Melon Berry Diablo

When someone tells you your food is “interesting,” is that the equivalent of being told you look homely?

It’s a shitty statement to make about someone’s food. And I had a pissed off look to follow after being told my cocktail popsicles were “interesting.” Maybe I’m too defensive—I know food is subjective. But I still felt like shoving this popsicle in the guy’s face and asking him how interesting that way.

What he labeled interesting was this tequila-based, honeydew-body popsicle, which is mixed with ginger beer and softly stirred with a raspberry cassis syrup, turning the classic Diablo cocktail into an Endless Simmer Poptail classic that is anything but just “interesting.”

Melon Berry Diablo Poptail

in Desserts / Endless Poptails / Featured / Recipe 3 comments

by bakersroyale

Endless Poptails: Grilled Mango Smash

I’m going to be upfront and set this post up properly: I’m a baker, not a griller. I’m not saying that because I rock heels over flip flops for weekend outings. Grill’n is just not my thing. As a result I’m the worst kind of griller. I’m always lifting the hood a few too many times and turning the heat up and down too much—I grill with self-doubt.

So for this recipe it wasn’t bravery that stirred me to action. Nope. It wasn’t even the Esquire article about this new breed of female master grillers, that is, until I got to the grilled margarita recipe. Grilled drinks?

Yeah, go ahead, I’ll wait while you grab your tongs.

Here’s what I made after grabbing mine: Grilled Mango Smash. Think sweet mango grilled to the point when the sugar is sweated to the surface for a dark smoky carmelized flavor. Lighting up that sweetness is the fire from the tomatillo and quietly but confidently nudging its way in is a slight peppery bite from the basil. And finally, lying beneath all that is a layer of that belly-grabbing barbeque flavor. It’s awesomeness on a stick.

Grilled Mango Smash

in Desserts / Endless Poptails / Featured / Recipe 2 comments

by bakersroyale

Cherry-Whiskey Upside Down Cake

I’m going through such a maniac state right now. I think my overloaded schedule has me in some sort of fit of always doing. Not that “doing” is actually resulting into anything productive. For instance if you follow me on Pinterest or Instagram, you see quite a bit of time has been sucked away admiring and trying to acheive some level of aestheticness that I’ve yet to figure out. What I have figured out is how to make a killer whiskey-loaded cake to impress the hell out of the dads in your life this Father’s Day.

Go ahead and show them that whiskey ain’t just for sipping or for licking. You truly can bite your whiskey with this cake. Here’s the quick rundown: the cake portion is tender and springy, not all all mushy as the bottoms of upside cakes can be. The whiskey gives the ensemble an extra subtle dimension that quiets the caramel topping and brings it in balance with the cake and fruity sweetness of the cherry.

If you like to bake, make this. If you don’t – well, there aren’t many times in your life where you can drink on the job, but in this case you totally can. Get in the kitchen and bake this for the dad(s) in your life, already.

Cherry & Whiskey Upside Down Cake

in Desserts / Featured / Holiday / Recipe 2 comments

by bakersroyale

Endless Poptails: Limoncello and Raspberry Whiskey Sour

Sometimes I’m so over myself, not in the teenage angst or a depressive sort of way. Just over the madness and procrastination I create from going from frenetically over-committing to complete laziness. This poptail was slated for Wednesday, then Thursday, now it’s Friday — apologies BS. But here’s the thing: when it comes time to deliver I give it my best. I never half-ass shit. This doesn’t always work out so well, since if it flops — well, I’m dead against the wall. But sometimes, like this time, it works out well in the most awesome way.

I know bragging is not en vogue, but I’m not bragging. I threw together some flavors and booze and the ingredients did the rest by blending and playing well with one another. The whiskey evens out the bite of the limoncello, especially if you buy storebought limoncello that can sometimes taste like cough syrup. The raspberries provide a tart balance to the sour lemons and it makes for one cool floating layer. That’s right, you can make this with the raspberry layer floating since its lighter in volume than the limoncello layer.

Oh, and no sticks required, for this poptail. It’s Have Your Way Friday – yeah, for real. No bullshit, okay, kinda – excuse the snypatic misfire of my brain. I lamed out and forgot them. Sticks or not – these are still totally edible! Cheers!

in Desserts / Endless Poptails / Featured / Recipe 1 comments

by bakersroyale

Endless Poptails: Red Velvet Dark and Stormy Popsicle

I realize I’m late to the ginger beer scene, but hey — I made it. Now that I’m here, I’m bringing some ginger beer poptails with me. Think dark and stormy cocktail pushed up against the sweetness of apricot syrup.

Along with that, I also brought something else I just discovered: red velvet apricots. Intriguing, huh? They are, but not as much as the name might suggest. It’s a basic apricot, wrapped in a deep purple skin, smaller and more concentrated in flavor. But to be fair, I guess I was expecting another layer of flavor, another level of fruity mystic — something other than a punched up flavor of its traditional orange-hued cousin.

The upside of that is if you can’t find the red velvet apricots the regular ones will do just fine for these dark and stormy poptails.

Red Velvet Dark and Stormy Poptail

in Desserts / Endless Poptails / Featured / Recipe 5 comments