Shortcut Gingerbread Beignets

Howdy!  So, how’s everyone coming with those holiday gifts and such? I am being a big giant procrastinator this year, for sure!  I usually make gifts for peeps because 1) I like to get my craft on and 2) I’m super cheap.  That didn’t sound right.  I’m frugal.  Better word choice.. Anyways, I’ve only bought about 25% of my list (eek!) and haven’t made a darn thing yet.  Not panicking, not panicking…breathe.

OK, so seeing as how I have a lot on my proverbial plate, I don’t have a lot of time to make a yeast dough with rise time and blah blah blah. Clearly,  I don’t even have time to construct proper sentences.

So here’s a quickie recipe to brighten your holidays!

Shortcut Gingerbread Beignets

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Where’s the Pumpkin?

This fall has been a rocky one for pumpkin loving people.  With the dawn of October came a Starbucks pumpkin latte shortage that left coffee fans reeling with deprivation.  With its whip cream poof and milky autumnal hue, the pumpkin spice latte has practically overtaken its ancestor (the pumpkin, lest you forget) as the national mascot of Fall.  Yet what exactly is pumpkin spice?  Homemade recipes include a tablespoon or two of actual canned pumpkin pie mixture, which presumably dissolves in hot milk and espresso to create the ghost of a gourd flavor.

However, gourd is one food group that I am not particularly keen to add to my coffee.   Cinnamon, cardamom, mint, chai—those are all semi-acceptable additions to spice up our daily mud.  But pumpkin?  Might as well be sweet potato, or butternut squash.

What, then, explains the pumpkin spice latte’s popularity?  After five seconds of sleuthing, the answer becomes clear.  The Starbucks pumpkin spice latte has no pumpkin!  Hence, “pumpkin spice.”  Pumpkin spice, according to Starbucks, consists of cinnamon, nutmeg and clove, the autumnal trifecta of spices.  In a neat twist of branding, the fall mascot is paraded in front of our eyes, cute and plump and vegetal, and then whisked away, never to be seen again.  Until Thanksgiving, that is, when “pumpkin spice” makes its encore appearance in pies, whose pumpkin content we traditionally make great effort in disguising.

If we read too deeply into the pumpkin’s plight, we can trace similarities between the New World squash and its indigenous cultivators.  But such a connection is perilous and academic, and, of course, not what anyone wants to be reminded of on the very day of celebration.  Instead, we’ll treasure our pumpkin-less lattes for a few sweet months before transitioning into the white wonderland of eggnog and peppermint, seeking snow in our beverages when it fails to appear elsewhere.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hott Links: Food Fluffers and The Futures of Farming

Buzzkill alert! Before you stuff your face with green beans and taters this Turkey Day, take a minute to explore how Wall Street’s takeover of American farming is contributing to hunger around the globe.

More weekend reading from Narratively’s Flipside of Food:

Food Fluffers: How food stylists make perfect food porn photos

You’ve Been Served: New York’s high-end waiters tell you what they really think

Grown in Staten: The trucker from the heartland who brought organic farming to Staten Island

(Photo: Narratively/Dean Carlson)

Movember Eating: Top 10 “Manly Mo Foods”

Happy Movember! Don’t get me wrong—I’m excited for Thanksgiving, but this is important too. The Movember campaign raises awareness of men’s health issues (particularly prostate cancer and testicular cancer). Ladies have pink—us men have something a bit more permanent and…natural. That’s right, a mustache. Hopefully you’re noticing more men fashioning a stash recently; raising awareness and “changing the face of men’s health.” So next time you see someone with one, please say “Happy Movember.”  In honor of Movember and supporting the cause to raise awareness of men’s health issues, I bring you the top ten manly “mo foods” to feed men or to enjoy with men. Onward…

10. Deep Fried…Anything?

Really—what isn’t good deep fried? Pickles, Twinkies, hostess cupcakes (so sad, I know), snickers bars, even butter. I really don’t think there is much that is not better when battered and fried. Men enjoy fried foods—we all do. But more than that, odds are you are eating it on a stick and getting messy.

(Photo: BS)

9, Meatloaf

Elf has his main food groups, while us men typically enjoy our own three: meat, beef, and beer. Don’t ask about the logic, just trust me that it’s there. I love meatloaf. What’s better than tossing meet together, baking it in the oven, and slathering ketchup over it? Well…maybe Katt’s recent turducken of meatloaf concoction (which I’m pretty sure includes at least two of the three men’s food groups). (Note from ML: MAAAAAAM! THE MEATLOAF!)

(Photo: Katt Kasper)

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EPIC Thanksgiving Dessert: Pecan Pie Brownies with Sweet Potato Casserole Topping

I’m sure you all saw the EPIC Thanksgiving meat monstrosity from last week.  Well to top that off, I made this dessert.  I wanted to share it with you guys just in time for Thanksgiving.

I’m just going to warn you.  It is super easy to make and waaaay too delicious.  So, if you are not into those things, you might want to skip this recipe.

Oh, yeah.  There’s also some candied bacon on it, too.

Pecan Pie Brownies with Sweet Potato Casserole Topping

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EPIC Thanksgiving: Bacon-Wrapped Meatloaf-Stuffed Turkey

I wanted the title of this post to be Bacon-Wrapped Smoked Turkey Stuffed with Goat Cheese, Chicken Breast and Bacon-Wrapped Lamb Meatloaf..but it’s kind of a mouthful (pun intended…always).

I’m trying to think of how to introduce this meat monstrosity into the world.  I thought about saying “Close your eyes and imagine a moist lamb meatloaf surrounded by bacon, chicken and goat cheese stuffed inside a perfectly cooked turkey.”  But then I realized this is the Internet and people cannot close their eyes..because that would hinder the whole reading process.  Epic meat makes me dumb.

So, what I really want to say is: block off a weekend for this.  You need to fully wrap your head around it.  I gotta apologize for how lengthy this recipe is, but I promise it is worth it.  Need proof?

Turkey.

Check.

Cheese.

Check.

Chicken.

Check.

Bacon.

Check and check.

Meatloaf.

Check..

Good God, Almighty..what have we done?

Sorry, I’m not really religious.  Just overwhelmed.

OK.  Let’s do this EPIC thang.

Meat Monstrosity

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