Drinks - - Page 30

by snebbu

Burns My Bacon: Anti-Booze States

Do you know what a State Store is? If you do, then you understand my endless rage. If you don’t, then you’ll most likely be enjoying the recent endless wines super-cheap case of wine gift with no frustrations. The rest of us are scrambling to find somebody in a neighboring state willing to open their doors to a case of wine while also willing to refrain from drinking it. (I’ll explain)

I know for most of you, you have no idea what I’m talking about. Some of you can stop at a gas station on your way home from work and pick up a pounder of Keystone for your enjoyment the minute you get home. Or you could stop at your local grocery store and get wine, beer, or yes, even liquor. You have no idea how much the rest of us envy you.

I live in the great state of Pennsylvania. We are home to two great cities, great sports, the Philadelphia Cheesesteak, the Liberty Bell, the homes of Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, and a site of which the constitution was drafted. We bring to America great pride in its history. But then there is this giant ink blotch on our state that we just can’t get rid of: The State Store.

Here in Pennsylvania, we are restricted to where and when we can get our booze. If you want beer, you need to go to a distributor. You want wine or the hard stuff?! Who the hell do you think you are? You need to go to what we call “state stores” run by the LIQUOR CONTROL BOARD (not controlling nanny-state-like at all). But wait—you can only go during certain hours, and we do not allow anyone to get any form of alcohol on Sundays (depending on where you live IN PA). God forbid. Phew. So those are the rules here.

Well…there is another catch. Apparently if these state stores (which have a giant selection and are run by experts in wine and booze…er…sarcasm) don’t have what you want, you can’t even order if from another state without going through the state store. And paying a tax nearing 20% on your purchase. You better pay for your booze you drunkard!

So that awesome deal that you’re trying to get…that’s hilarious! They can’t ship to Pennsylvania—that would be blasphemy. I mean, unless you ship it to the state store and pay us back in taxes for allowing you to send a package to our door and hold it for you. That takes a lot of resources you know…

The deal is awesome. I’m pretty excited, and contemplating having the girlfriend let me ship to her house in New Jersey (just don’t tell anyone!). The rest of you…well, you know what I think about you. Pick up a 40 for me next time you’re out…anywhere. Celebrate the occasion that you’re free to buy whatever beverage you want, wherever you want. I’ll be lost in the maze of Pennsylvania legislation trying to figure out HOW THE HELL I CAN GET ME SOME NAKED WINE!

(Photo: Our Awesome Wine Sponsor)

by BS

A Gift From ES: Endless Wines

Is it us, or does the holiday party season start earlier and earlier every year? Somehow I already have something scheduled nearly every freaking day for the next month. You know what that means….we’re gonna need a LOT of wine.

Here’s the deal, folks: Naked Wines is an awesome new company that invests in independent winemakers so that they can give you seriously good prices on premium bottles of booze. By cutting out the middlemen, they can offer bottles from the best boutique winemakers for 40 – 60 percent off. BUT Endless Simmer is one-upping that and giving you $100 off your holiday case of wine. Just click the image above (or here) to redeem your $100 voucher off of any order.

Ya’ll know we don’t spam you guys with things we wouldn’t buy ourselves—but this is a legit deal, and a cool company that we’re really excited to partner with. I just cashed in the voucher myself and got a case of 12 bottles from 12 different indie winemakers for $160, minus the ES $100 off coupon = $60 for a case, no hidden shipping fees or anything. While I’m still sober enough to divide, let me tell you that’s $5 a bottle.

Check it out!

in Drinks 7 comments

by unsightly

So Simple: The Coffee Sugar Solution

I’m not usually one to add sugar to my coffee, but every once in a while I bring a roast home that could use a little sugar to help cover up the burnt taste of the over-roasted beans. I’m always annoyed by the multiple dirty spoons from stirring in sugar to each individual cup by time I finish out a pot of coffee. Today it hit me (and I’m sure I’m not the first one to think of this): Add the sugar to the coffee while it’s steeping. I wouldn’t recommend this in an automatic coffee maker, but works perfectly in a French press. I made a simple syrup (1 part water + 1 part sugar stirred over medium low heat until the sugar is dissolved) and added it to the French press when I poured in the hot water. I had a perfectly sweetened pot of coffee. I added 3 tablespoons of simple syrup to a 32 oz french press of coffee. Start there and tweak it to your tastes.

in Drinks 4 comments

by snebbu

Burns My Bacon: Whiny Baristas

Here I am, sitting in Starbucks with my scholarly stash working on my scholarly grad school work with my pinky up, and I’m interrupted. “Can’t you see I’m doing something?!” he says in a whiny voice as he piles up sugar in the raw packets while chatting with his classmates (I’ll get to that later). Meanwhile, the line is going out the door because everybody needs their damn skinny, no-whip, triple-double-mocha-java.

Time passes…I get nowhere in my homework because now the whiny voice is getting loud. Meanwhile another gent is mopping the floor after he single-handedly saved the day by serving up hand-crafted beverages to all of the customers with personalized cups (that’s right, they put your name on it). “Look dude, if you want to talk, then let’s talk.” Whiny voice—“Uh, yeah I want to.” And they storm off to the back for what is clearly an epic barista battle.

What was it I was doing? Oh yeah, I paid $50 for to use their free wireless to work while gently sipping on my hand-crafted, personalized beverage (skinny peppermint mocha if you must know—hold the WHIP—that’s right BRIAN, I’m watching my diet, and I may even run after this!) Things are getting quiet, and I can finally get into my hipster-cafe mode as I enjoy the strumming of an acoustic Christmas song. The mopping artisan appears to have left the scene. Crisis averted and the drama’s over. Clearly sugar in the raw is more important than making everyone’s night perfect with the touch of love put into every cafe cup.

How do I know the whiny kid was chatting with his classmates? Well the sweet strums of an acoustic Christmas and my eloquently written graduate work were interrupted yet again by the whiny barista discussing a school project. Never mind that creamer needs to be refilled, the straws need to be put in order, and the toilet needs to be scrubbed. Go do your homework. And don’t mind the rest of us who’ve actually paid to be here rather than are getting paid. Maybe I should apply for a job here so I can at least get paid to do my homework.

Whining bugs me to begin with, but when you are getting paid to get homework done, and you are whining about piling up sugar packets, I lose tolerance. What makes it worse? Interrupting my groove, mang. Who do you think you are?

*I wanted to take a picture of the actual whiner, but I guess that would be some kind of violation of privacy. So instead I “hand-crafted” a picture of my face as he whines. And of course, he FAILS.

**Snebbu is also known as Mubbs Mubbens on movember.com. He is committed to bringing awareness to Men’s Health issues and raising money to fight prostate cancer and testicular cancer. You can check out his site, rate his sweet stash, and contribute to the cause here!**

in Drinks / Rants & Raves 2 comments

by Hannah

Where’s the Pumpkin?

This fall has been a rocky one for pumpkin loving people. With the dawn of October came a Starbucks pumpkin latte shortage that left coffee fans reeling with deprivation. With its whip cream poof and milky autumnal hue, the pumpkin spice latte has practically overtaken its ancestor (the pumpkin, lest you forget) as the national mascot of Fall. Yet what exactly is pumpkin spice? Homemade recipes include a tablespoon or two of actual canned pumpkin pie mixture, which presumably dissolves in hot milk and espresso to create the ghost of a gourd flavor.

However, gourd is one food group that I am not particularly keen to add to my coffee. Cinnamon, cardamom, mint, chai—those are all semi-acceptable additions to spice up our daily mud. But pumpkin? Might as well be sweet potato, or butternut squash.

What, then, explains the pumpkin spice latte’s popularity? After five seconds of sleuthing, the answer becomes clear. The Starbucks pumpkin spice latte has no pumpkin! Hence, “pumpkin spice.” Pumpkin spice, according to Starbucks, consists of cinnamon, nutmeg and clove, the autumnal trifecta of spices. In a neat twist of branding, the fall mascot is paraded in front of our eyes, cute and plump and vegetal, and then whisked away, never to be seen again. Until Thanksgiving, that is, when “pumpkin spice” makes its encore appearance in pies, whose pumpkin content we traditionally make great effort in disguising.

If we read too deeply into the pumpkin’s plight, we can trace similarities between the New World squash and its indigenous cultivators. But such a connection is perilous and academic, and, of course, not what anyone wants to be reminded of on the very day of celebration. Instead, we’ll treasure our pumpkin-less lattes for a few sweet months before transitioning into the white wonderland of eggnog and peppermint, seeking snow in our beverages when it fails to appear elsewhere.

Happy Thanksgiving!

in Drinks / Holiday 0 comments

by BS

Cocktail O’Clock: 5 Thanksgiving Cocktails

Come on, America — Thanksgiving isn’t just an excuse to gorge yourself. It’s also a great reason to get sh*tfaced!

Check out these recipes for 5 Thanksgiving cocktails that have piqued our interest this fall…

1. The Spiced Cloud

In a shaker combine:
1.5 parts Gekkeikan Nigori Sake
.75 parts pear nectar

Shake well with ice, strain into a chilled martini glass garnish with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

2. Hunters on Holiday

In a shaker combine:
1.5 parts Jägermeister
.5 parts Don Q Anejo Rum
2 bar spoons of leftover cranberry sauce (yes, cranberry sauce!)
.5 parts fresh lemon juice

Shake well with ice, strain into a rocks glass with fresh ice. Garnish with a lemon peel and grated cinnamon.

3. Nutty Pilgrim

2 parts Kilbeggan Irish Whiskey
1 part DeKuyper Hazelnut Liqueur or 1 part Kamora Coffee Liqueur

Garnish:
Orange Wheel

Build all ingredients over ice into a double Old Fashioned glass. Garnish with a half moon orange wheel.

Movember Eating: Top 10 “Manly Mo Foods”

Happy Movember! Don’t get me wrong—I’m excited for Thanksgiving, but this is important too. The Movember campaign raises awareness of men’s health issues (particularly prostate cancer and testicular cancer). Ladies have pink—us men have something a bit more permanent and…natural. That’s right, a mustache. Hopefully you’re noticing more men fashioning a stash recently; raising awareness and “changing the face of men’s health.” So next time you see someone with one, please say “Happy Movember.” In honor of Movember and supporting the cause to raise awareness of men’s health issues, I bring you the top ten manly “mo foods” to feed men or to enjoy with men. Onward…

10. Deep Fried…Anything?

Really—what isn’t good deep fried? Pickles, Twinkies, hostess cupcakes (so sad, I know), snickers bars, even butter. I really don’t think there is much that is not better when battered and fried. Men enjoy fried foods—we all do. But more than that, odds are you are eating it on a stick and getting messy.

(Photo: BS)

9, Meatloaf

Elf has his main food groups, while us men typically enjoy our own three: meat, beef, and beer. Don’t ask about the logic, just trust me that it’s there. I love meatloaf. What’s better than tossing meet together, baking it in the oven, and slathering ketchup over it? Well…maybe Katt’s recent turducken of meatloaf concoction (which I’m pretty sure includes at least two of the three men’s food groups). (Note from ML: MAAAAAAM! THE MEATLOAF!)

(Photo: Katt Kasper)