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by ML

Friday Fuck Up: Strawberry Jammed

Today’s F-UP comes from from Mandie, author of wtf jk lol, my former roommate and berry picking partner. We had our first college apartment together, fucked up a lot of food, but neither of us wanted to publicize our failures. Until now.

After I explained I had no idea what to do with all that fruit (and, ahem, ES readers said jam was so easy), Mandie decided to take the challenge and make jam.

The last time Mandie attempted jam, it was watery and she ended up having to remove it from the jars to recook it (big pain in the ass). So to avoid that fiasco, she cooked this batch a little longer. Sounds like a good plan, right?

Unfortunately, this second attempt ended up being “the consistency of those weird gel candles.” The fruity substance, seen above, was impossible to extract from the jars without some force and creative methods. Certainly not spreadable.

Can we get a little help, ESers? Where did she go wrong? What’s the secret to making jam look like jam?

in Personal 3 comments

by ML

Easy Drinkin’

Ah, summer. Pool parties, farmers markets, and…tailgates.

At my family’s tailgates, we’re normally more concerned with the quantity than quality of our food, since tailgating is all about surviving a day of drinking. This is a little lot strange to me, considering Philadelphia is supposed to have a lot of really good tailgate food. We do bring enough grub to feed the entire parking lot (30 hot dogs, 30 hamburgers, and four hoagies for 8 people?), but the star of the show is undoubtedly our bar menu.

Give Me My Man Meat

This weekend I was flipping through the channels and stopped at Next Food Network Star. I’d never seen the show, never really wanted to, but since people seem to be talking about it I figured why the hell not. On this particular episode, the nine finalists were to create a recipe for Esquire magazine’s “Recipe for Men” section. Seems normal. But here’s my beef:

Most of the contestants went off on these rants about how “manly meals”= big slabs of meat. Apparently to some of these people, men only like meat and in a “man” recipe the main focus has to be a huge piece of meat. Hello, I’m a woman, and I like meat just as much as any guy out there. Now I don’t go walking around every day munching on giant turkey legs (well, I did just that one time) , and some days I even go meatless. However, I often eat entire bags of beef jerkey in one sitting, and I’d die without sausage on my Dunkin Donuts sandwiches. I know I cannot be some woman anomaly. One of my grandmother’s favorite meals was rack of lamb, and she was a woman so feminine she never even wore pants.

Why the hell do “man” recipes even exist anyway? I mean, I eat the same things as my boyfriend and my father, although sometimes they eat larger quantities. If meat is a manly meal, what is a womanly meal? Vegetables?

(Pic: Steak with Red Wine Reduction)

in Pig / Rants & Raves / Red Meat 7 comments

by ML

How Do You Take Your Hummus?

A while back, BS posted on the deliciousness that is Sabra Hummus. Before discovering Sabra, I had sworn off store-bought hummus, but now I’ve been reconnected with my long lost chickpea love.

Growing up in an Armenian family, the only thing I ate hummus with was pita or a spoon (sorry for partying). However, my favorite restaurant at college serves their hummus plate with pita and a large assortment of vegetables (including onions and tomatoes??? What the fuck). My boyfriend frequently enjoys hummus with carrot chips (seen above) or green peppers.

I don’t understand this. I love the taste of hummus blended with warm, carb-packed pita. I can’t stand the taste of hummus+vegetables=too much moisture. Not enough hummus. Hummus slides off carrots. Watery mess.

Comments on my kid’s food post revealed that hummus is becoming mainstream, even for babies. How are the kids these days consuming this delicious wonder? Is it being disguised by watery vegetables or eaten on a spoon?

Enlighten me.

in Rants & Raves 12 comments

by ML

Pennsylvania’s Finest: Give Me 40 Flavors or Don’t Bother

The deep fried chicken wing. One of those American creations we all hate to love. Sure, some of you might think you’re “too sophisticated” with your foie gras and fancy sweaters, but please, don’t deny it. We all love deep fried wings.

Chicken wings somehow turned into football food (wtf, they’re so messy?), but in my college years, they were every night cheap food. From 10pm-2am the local bar (yes,there was only one restaurant/bar combination) would give you a dozen for $3.50, which we all thought was a good price after a night of drinking.

And then there was the wing buffet…

Feeding the Monsters: Kids’ Restaurant Week

Lets be honest, I really don’t keep up with the daily events on Sesame Street. Thanks to gansie for alerting me to this particularly interesting event happening across the country.

As you may know, it drives me (and many other people) insane when restaurants/parents/idiots assume kids only eat shit. Thankfully, for one week, parents and patrons alike will be saved from this mayhem.

Mimicking Restaurant Week, where high-end restaurants offer a multi-course prix-fixe menu, Cookie and Gourmet’s Kids’ Restaurant Week 2009 is set to take place June 13-21 in Washginton, DC and June 20-28 in New York In Chicago. Adults pay $29, while kids 11 and under pay their age. Dinner seatings are early (from 5pm-7pm).

The main event, obviously, is the food. Restaurants participating claim to offer “kid-friendly” (what the hell does that even mean) versions of their menu offerings. Seems good for parents, good for kids. One big happy family, right?

Although many news sources have marketed Kids’ Restaurant Week with the “tired of giving your kids chicken fingers?” routine, some restaurants are still sadly serving chicken fingers, french fries, and the ever popular macaroni and cheese (fail) during Kids’ Restaurant Week. However, others are serving up kid accessible versions of their delicious adult counterparts, such as duck tacos and tandoori chicken skewers. Perhaps at least some people are finally starting to get it.

Bottom line: if you’re interested in taking your children out to eat in Washington, DC, I’d first check out some of the menu offerings here to avoid another chicken fingers meal. If you’re in the windy city, check out this writeup of the Chicago events, where Kids’ Restaurant Week originated in 2008. If you’re in another city, or just want to see who is in on the hoopla, a list of participating restaurants for all cities can be found at the official Kids’ Restaurant Week site.

As always, if you do take your little ones to this (or have before), let us know!

in Uncategorized 2 comments

by ML

Hunters and Gatherers

Recently it seems that everyone has been talking about some economic crisis. I’m like, hello, that’s life for a college student every day. I’m a cheap date. I like cheap fun. Now I want to share it with you.

During the summer, when my friends and I had to put away the beer bongs for more socially and parentally accepted activities, we discovered the great joys of pick-your-own fruit.

Like some of us here at ES, I don’t know what to do with a plethora of fruit, besides boring fruit salad. Mostly, my friends and I just enjoy being together, getting a tan, and eating the fruit as we wonder aimlessly around the orchards. However, if you are a fruit wrangler (baker, whatever they call you people), picking your own fruit is not only fun; it’s an easy way to get local, fresh, ingredients, and is definitely a cheap day out for the entire family (you can even bring the kids..if you want). Yes, I said easy. Don’t let gansie fool you, it’s actually not that hard. I wouldn’t partake in any outdoor activity that required perspiring just for fun.

Here in the Northeast, strawberry season will soon be in full swing. In a few more weeks, apples, peaches, cherries, blueberries, raspberries and MANY more will come into season, and you can actually pick many of these yourselves. Harvesting isn’t just for apples, people!

To find out what is available in your area, I’d suggest checking out PickYourOwn.org, which has regional harvest calendars and contact information for local pick-your-own farms.

Oh, and one last thing…Please, PLEASE tell us, just what DO you do with all of that fruit? We’re gonna need some ideas!

in Rants & Raves 18 comments