Ah, summer. Pool parties, farmers markets, and…tailgates.
At my family’s tailgates, we’re normally more concerned with the quantity than quality of our food, since tailgating is all about surviving a day of drinking. This is a little lot strange to me, considering Philadelphia is supposed to have a lot of really good tailgate food. We do bring enough grub to feed the entire parking lot (30 hot dogs, 30 hamburgers, and four hoagies for 8 people?), but the star of the show is undoubtedly our bar menu.
The main goal here, which I’m sure is the same for other people, is to maximum consumption in a minimal amount of time. We always drink beer and shots of Eagles Juice (a secret, lime green concoction that is followed by a singing of “Fly Eagles Fly,” at any event, football or not). But after a few hours it becomes really hard to produce quality beverages, given the increasing difficulty of once-simple tasks like measuring, pouring, and lifting the glasses.
Solving our problem this summer are Aunt Judy’s diabetic margaritas. Yes, I’m aware they sound like complete shit, and they might even be cheating. But these have multiple benefits besides being low in sugar:
1) there are only two ingredients, so you can make them while wasted, as long as you can remember the secret ratio, which was described to me in confidence as “1 to 1 to 1 to 1.” I converted the drunken lingo for you all in the recipe below.
2) they are not filling (at all) so you can consume many more of these drinks than you could of any sugary margarita. In record speed.
3) they taste so close to the real thing, that unless your name is Jose Cuervo, you’ll never know the difference.
Aunt Judy’s Diabetic, Two-Ingredient, Easy-to-Make-While-Incoherent Margaritas
– ¼ c Tequila
– ¾ c Key Lime Flavor Sparkling Water
Pour over ice and serve. Garnish with a lime wedge if you remember. You’ll be so drunk in no time, you won’t even miss the Cointreau. Or limes. Or anything.
Feed Us Back: What’s your can’t-fail summer drink? A.k.a. – what do you mix when you’re too drunk to mix anything else?