Attack of the Meme: Suri Cruise, Gossip Columnist

Do you like celeb babies? Do you like celeb gossip? Do you like all things bitchy, catty and totally ridiculous? Welcome to Suri’s Burn Book, a running commentary “from” Suri Cruise about other celeb offspring.

Suri dishes about Cruz Beckham‘s afternoon at Color Me Mine, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett‘s ginger baby (eek recessive genes!)  and – above – how unappetizing Adam Sandler‘s little girl, Sadie, looks while downing a muffin. Showing by example, Suri posts proof that it’s possible to eat while still looking adorable. Oh, Suri.

Hat Tip: Kiki Ryan
(Photo: Suri’s Burn Book)

The Meatiest Benedict Ever

Spokane is the second largest city in the state of Washington, yet feels worlds away from Seattle. It is much smaller and less cosmopolitan (and I mean that in the nicest way possible). While Spokane might not be teeming with trendy sushi restaurants and farm-to-table concepts, they do have some memorable food finds. For instance, let’s talk about Frank’s Diner. Located in an old traincar and founded in 1931, Frank’s has been churning out huge breakfasts for much longer than I’ve been eating my way through God’s green earth. I expected large portions and a down-home atmosphere, but what I did not expect was this:

MEATLOAF eggs benedict. Country biscuit topped with sage meatloaf, a large poached egg, and tons of rich brown gravy. Please note that this is a half order. I figured the full-size dish would kill me. Not only was this crazy enough that I had to order the dish, it was also delicious. The meatloaf was moist (ugh, I hate that word), fragrant and flavorful, very herby, and not greasy. As for the biscuit, it was the perfect combination of sturdy — it could hold its own against the heavy egg and abundance of gravy — but at the same time, light and crumbly.

The problem with many eggs benedicts, and poached eggs in general, is that restaurants overpoach their eggs! There is no worse travesty than hopefully cutting into a yolk, anticipation rising, only to find that it has been carelessly cooked through. Womp womp. So how did Frank’s fare?

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Dark Bread. Strong Cheese.

Dark bread. Strong cheese.

I found a few things to adore in Copenhagen. The rampant bicycle usage. The intoxicating friendliness of everyone I met. The abundance of blonde hair and blue eyes and big, burly, bearded Viking men.

But also, the bread. The dark bread, repeatedly punctured with a million seeds. I found this sandwich – smørrebrød – at a tiny restaurant with plenty of seating overlooking a canal. After a few days in Denmark, I could fudge reading a menu, grasping a few recognizable words: bread, cheese. 

I ordered this, asking for a side of mustard. I was not prepared, however, for that translucent rectangle atop the cheese. Gelatinous, with an overwhelming presence of meat, I assumed this was birthed by beef broth. I tried a few bites, but the Jell-O texture and too-meaty flavor turned me against it.

But really, who needs more than cheese and bread anyway?

Pumpkin Pie in a Pumpkin

Two years ago, in my very first ES post ever, I wrote about a certain pair of two-year-olds and a stuffing-stuffed pumpkin.  Last year around this time, I changed things up and made a rice-stuffed pumpkin.  Now Halloween is gone, twins are almost five, Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching, and I once again heard the call of the stuffed pumpkin.  But what to stuff it with this time?  I considered potatoes or quinoa, but those just seemed too…tame.  Then, inspiration struck.  Why not stuff a pumpkin with pumpkin pie?  Crazy.  I knew that this had major FFU potential, so I bought two pumpkins just in case.  Spoiler alert:  I still have the second pumpkin, uncut, on the kitchen shelf.  That’s right, folks.  I baked a pumpkin pie in a pumpkin. And you can too.  Here’s how:

Step one:  Bake the pumpkin.

When choosing a pumpkin, go with a small-to medium-sized one. Fewer bumps are ideal, or you will have to contend with holes when you peel it.

Cut the top off the pumpkin, then scrape out all the seeds and gross stringy bits. If you want, you can save the seeds and oven-roast them. Then put the whole hollowed-out pumpkin on a cookie sheet, place in a 350-degree oven, and bake until a fork goes through the skin easily. Let cool, then peel off the skin. To make the shell more or less pie-shaped, cut around the opening about a third of the way down the pumpkin until you have what looks like a bowl.  Reserve the cooked part that you removed for later.

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The Ghosts of Gourmet Past

Relive the golden era of food magazine goodness. The Way We Ate combines Gourmet‘s archival advertisements (hello, Teacher’s Scotch) with ancient glamour cover shots and extreme food close-ups. It’s still not the same as flipping through the soulful pages of the magazine, but with tumblr’s emphasis on photographs , it’s easy to fall in love with Gourmet again.

(Photo: The Way We Ate)

Perplexing Photo of the Day

Spotted in the window of a store in Adams Morgan (in Washington, D.C.) Because when we see a sign that says “no food,” clearly our next questions is, “what about ice cream?”

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