February 2011


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The Five Stages of a Bad Meal

Ed. Note: Our friend Alex, formally the food editor of DC’s Brightest Young Things, recently moved to Boston. While she’s mourning the loss of leaving the District (and her favorite margarita spots), she’s also learned how to identify her grief during unpleasant meals.

This year my fiancé planned a birthday weekend getaway based entirely around getting me a good meal at a well-known and well-regarded restaurant in Portland, Maine.  The meal started well enough with a gracious entrée to our table-for-two and a handwritten birthday note awaiting me. The menu was narrative, seasonal and with the help of our waitress, I settled on a roasted Pekin duck.

Unfortunately the dinner was a shit-show: appetizers were small, uninspired and under-seasoned; the lighting was so dim we couldn’t really see our food; and my duck—which was promised to be crispy—came out with pale, wet, greasy skin. When questioned about the lack of crispy-skin, the response was “the chef says it is not ideal to change it at this time…” What? We bagged the rest of the meal, skipped the traditional birthday dessert and were glad to see part of our dinner was comped.

While we were initially angry, this experience got me thinking about other bad meals I’ve had and how I’ve dealt with them. You can apply the Kubler-Ross 5 stages of grief to a dining experience. While I know some may think this is a tacky exercise, the 5 stages have been used on everything from America’s debt problem to failed efforts of picking up women, so yeah, this is happening.

The Five Stages of a Bad Meal

Denial

This tends to happen during the meal itself. You start second guessing yourself: maybe you ordered wrong, or maybe you don’t understand what you’re eating, or maybe your food is the only food that is bad and everyone else loves their food so you had better pretend to like it. You just can’t believe you’re not eating something delicious.

Anger

Much of the anger you feel during a bad meal is about blame. You blame the person who recommended the place. You blame the reviewer who gave it 4 stars. You blame the waitress who told you the duck would have crispy skin. You blame the person who chose it. Or if you chose it, you feel the hot pointed anger of your dining companions and it becomes a deep, deep shame.

Sometimes anger can be about revenge. Maybe you’re so angry you post a crappy review on Yelp, you blast out a few angry tweets and then spend years telling people to avoid the place you went to. 

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in Featured / Restaurants 7 comments
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America’s Best New Sandwiches, Part 2

Last month ES brought you our list of America’s top 10 new sandwiches. But blogga always said that reader knows best.

Many of you commented on our original story to tell us which of your favorite innovative sandwich should have been included. We chose the ten tastiest suggestions and now present an encore list: America’s Top 10 New Sandwiches, as selected by Endless Simmer readers.

10. Steak Poutine Pita — U Needa Pita — St. Catharine’s, Ontario

What could be better than poutine, Montreal’s signature street food? How about throwing that poutine — cheese curds, fries and gravy included — on a pita, so you can actually eat it while walking down the street? Add some steak and you’ve got yourself one helluva sandwich. And yes, for the sake of U Needa Pita, we’re including Canada as part of America this one time only.

9. Westside Monte Cristo — Melt Bar and Grilled — Cleveland


We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: there’s no food so good that it can’t be made better by a trip to the deep fryer. Kudos to Melt for being brave enough to test this theory out on the monte cristo breakfast sandwich — honey ham, smoked turkey, Swiss and American cheese — all battered in beer and deep fried.

8. Chacarero — La Sombra — Austin

We’re officially placing money on Chile’s signature sandwich — the chacarero — to become the next bahn mi, and La Sombra‘s version is the most sumptuous one we’ve seen yet. Shiner Bock marinated sliced hangar steak topped with green beans, avocado, tomatoes, pickled cucumbers and spicy mayo, all on a thin, toasty bolillo.

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in Breakfast / Cheese / Eggs / Fowl / Lists / Red Meat / Sandwich / Trends 15 comments
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ES Event: D.C. Food Blogger Happy Hour

Attention all food bloggers and food blog groupies: If you’re in the D.C. area on Wednesday, March 2, get to American Ice Co. for a chance to drink alongside ES in-person.

American Ice Co. is a new bar in D.C.’s U Street Neighborhood, serving craft beers in mason jars and pulled pork sandwiches on paper plates. Pretty awesome if you ask me.

If you can make it, RSVP here.

in Drinks 0 comments
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Top Chef All-Stars Exit Interview: Episode 11

We were treated to the Queen of Butter, Paula Deen, this week on Top Chef All-Stars. And you guessed it: there were deep fryers galore. Keep reading to see which chef just couldn’t cut butter with a knife.

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in TV 3 comments
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Back to Basics: Wonder Year Cake

What’s your cake preference? I don’t have one. I like my cake made and served any way.  If you have seen any of my other cakes or cupcakes you know spare and austere are not my usual cake carving way. But on occasions I also like a quiet, unassuming cake in design and flavor.

That said, this is a traditional yellow cake paired with, of course, a traditional chocolate frosting.  It’s the kind of cake that will remind you of your wonder years, when you drank milk out of a straw and a second serving wasn’t accompanied by any caloric contemplation.

So . . . yeah, go ahead and lick the frosting off the plate.

Wonder Year Cake

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in Desserts / Recipe 10 comments
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Lowering Cholesterol Deliciously

In just a little over a month I will turn 30.

<gag> <puke> <cry> <pull out gray hairs>

But the number isn’t the only thing pissing me off these days. Because it’s not just the number. I’ve also been diagnosed with high cholesterol. Now, my “good” cholesterol is very high, thank you avocados. But my well-documented love affair with eggs and cheese couldn’t overcome my HDL.

So now I’m on fish oil pills (side note – what do dedicated vegetarians take to lower cholesterol?) three times a day. In the past three weeks I’ve eaten eggs only once a week (instead of my normal 4-5 times a week) and have lowered my twice+ a day habit of cheese to about once every other day or so.

But I don’t want to just cut things out of my diet. I’m also looking to add things that will actively lower my cholesterol. And that’s when I remembered the dessert my cousin, Lea, made me when I vacationed in Arizona last fall. Lea is a Wellcoaches certified wellness coach and specializes in weight loss and heart disease prevention. (About Lea)

I asked her to send more information on her muesli dessert, which is simply raw oats, raisins, chopped walnuts, chopped cashews, and semi-sweet mini chocolate chips swimming in Rice Dream vanilla rice drink. Most people would assume this is a breakfast treat, but Lea has adapted it as a healthy and filling dessert, which even helps her fall asleep.

Here’s more from Lea on how a nightcap of muesli can help you lose weight and lower your cholesterol (turning 30 or not):

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in Desserts 3 comments
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