ES Takes Over the Web, Episode 16,249

[photo redacted]

gansie
: i HATE the picture
HATE
HATE
HATE
BS: OMG
it’s great!
gansie: UGH
BS: really?
you look hot
gansie: my eyes are squinty
but whatever
it’s fine.
it could be worse.
That’s just a taste of the many, many, many anxious gchat messages exchanged this week in anticipation of gansie’s Washingtonian magazine photo shoot (!!) Don’t miss the accompanying article, in which our DC bureau chief dishes out some advice about recipes, farmers markets, cookbooks and more. OK fine, she mostly talks about eggs. Obviously.

The Blogger Beat: Endless Simmer [Washingtonian]

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Everyone Picks on Guy

guy_fieri

The latest and greatest news about celebrity chefs, served up buffet style.

David Chang and Anthony Bourdain, on the rampage.  In their sights: cupcakes and Guy Fieri.

– And if the verbal bitch-slap wasn’t enough, poor Guy gets the SNL treatment (fairly well done by Bobby Moynihan), only to be picked clean by ravenous birds.

After the jump:  As much Steingarten as you can handle,  hot food/cold feet and real, honest to goodness cooking on your television.

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Our Top 10 Favorite Halloween Cakes

While we here at ES put most of our Halloween energy into thinking up weird food costumes, we’ve noticed in the past couple of years that our friends around the blogosphere and flickr-verse have been getting crazy creative with the cakes for this particular holiday season. Since you know we can’t bake to save our lives, let’s take a look at a few of the freakiest, loveliest cakes we’ve spied around the web.

10. Black Spider Wedding Cake

1797083008_07a567f140

(Pag asa)

9. Zombie Fingers Cake

zombie fingers cake

(Dessert by Candy — includes full recipe)

8. Jack-o-Lantern Cake

jack-o-lantern cake

(Williams-Sonoma, where you can actually buy a $99 pan specifically for making this cake)

7. Vampire Bat Cake

bat-cake-10

(My Own Sweet Thyme — includes step-by-step instructions.)

6. Bloody Eyeballs Cake

bloody eyeballs cake

(megpi)

5. Mad Scientist Cake

mad scientist cake

(Don Buciak)

4. Cockroach Cake

cockroach cake

(Make)

3. Zombie Cake

zombie cake

(Crafster)

2. Kitty Litter Cake

kitty litter cake

(Cleverswine) (plus recipe here)

1. Bleeding Heart (and all the other organs, too) Cake

organs cake

(Do It Myself! — includes full instructions)

What other kinds of cakes are all you weirdos baking! Drop your links in the comments.

All of our Halloween costumes, cocktails and recipes — in Endless Halloween

Brass Monkey, That Phunky Phillie

brassmonkey

I know what you’re thinking: Why is gansie’s friend Comack holding a Colt 45 bottle filled with an orange liquid — doesn’t Colt 45 look like piss?

Yes, my friends. I’ve recently learned a new way to both consume malt liquor and celebrate the Phillies. In case you weren’t aware, the 2008 World Fucking Champs are now facing the Dogers for the National League Championship Series. And there’s some drinkin’ to be had. Responsible drinking, of course. Responsible drinking in the form of vitamin C and a 40.

Brass Monkey
Unscrew the cap of the Colt 45. Pour out (into a cup—we don’t waste beer) until the curve of the bottle straightens into a column, basically where the label starts. Add orange juice. Chug. Go Phils.

Artsy Photo of (Yester)Day

photo-5

How does Obama take his coffee?

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

lsu-gator-roast

– If you were impressed by LC’s lamb roast, you’ll want to hear from Shannon, who writes in to one-up her:

Your lamb on a spit post reminded me of this photo.  We’ll be trying to roast our own gator on a homemade contraption this weekend for the Florida/LSU game. FYI, you can buy gator from farms down here. They mostly raise them for the skins, so the meat is really cheap. A four foot gator runs $30-$40.

HOT DAMN. All ES readers should feel free to keep writing in with any new roast-animals-on-a-stick discoveries.

– Fine, so no one agrees with my high-minded call for better bread at Jewish delis. Adam says the sub-par bread is the whole point:

I would agree that the bread at delis like Katz’s is sub-par, but I think the reasoning is because it’s meant to be as unobtrusive as possible. With other sandwiches, the bread is important. When it’s surrounding a pound of pastrami, it’s job is to make the pastrami go into my mouth, while slightly lowering the amount of grease and mustard I get on myself.

And Mike B will have none of it:

Pastrami on *toast*? A baguette? An everything bagel?! I’m… I’m speechless….

But Karen from French’s Mustard writes in with a novel idea I can’t believe I hadn’t previously considered:

Next time you go into a Jewish deli (I do loves me some Katz’s), demand they put it on a nice, thick and toasted piece of challah.  They’ll charge you more, wayyy more, but I promise it’ll revolutionize your sandwich.  And as far as where to put your mustard?  I have an idea for that too…but, you have to make your own first.

Challah-pastrami, that’s it! I am on board. It will probably cost $30 at 2nd Ave, though.

So we don’t often post PR requests here, but since Karen wrapped hers up with a sweet ‘strami suggestion, we’ll make an exception. Go and enter French’s homemade mustard contest and win some big $$$! Deets after the jump…

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