July 2009


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Rachael Ray’s Risotto-Free Risotto

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Ladies and gentlemen, it has finally happened.  After airing 24,685 (approximately) dishes that can be made in less than half an hour, Rachael Ray apparently ran out of good ideas, said “screw it,” and invented what has to be the most ridiculous pasta dish ever to grace the airwaves.

I was having such a good weekend from a culinary standpoint.  I was playing tour guide around Philly for an visiting friend and it included a delicious chanterelle and bone marrow ravioli at Osteria and some fantastic gelato from Capogiro, so you can imagine my disappointment when flipped on Food Network Sunday morning and saw Ms. Ray assaulting the proud tradition of the Italian people.

Technically called “Wild Mushroom Broken Spaghetti Risotto with Arugula and Hazelnuts,” it’s basically inch-long shards of long pasta cooked by adding stock like you would to true risotto.  If you’re thinking this sounds like a bad idea, you’re right.  But why is this seemingly innocent dish attracting my ire?

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in Celebs / TV 10 comments
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It Ain’t Just Southern

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Editor’s Note: Westcoast and I (gansie!) have been making the rounds to all of the hott spots in DC this season. Of course I’m talking about the farmers’ markets. We’ve visited three locations (Silver Spring, H Street–with sightings of Belmontmedina and Mr. and Mrs. Joe Hoya–and Bloomingdale) and we have many left to scope out. Here’s Westcoast‘s most current inspiration from a market find. And please let us know where we should get our next seasonal fix.

You finally get something out of me…probably two years after gansie and I first discussed…so you know it must be tasty.

I chose okra (and wasn’t the first to do so here on ES).  I almost couldn’t help it.  Gansie and I were at the Bloomingdale Farmers Market, there was a lone section of okra staring at me. I hadn’t really done much work with it, and it seemed like a challenge.  When I picked it up I think gansie lost the ability to speak for a few seconds.

Okra is perhaps one of the most misunderstood vegetables (well, it’s a fruit, technically) around.  It is noted for its extremely slimy, gummy or mushy texture in food that is poorly prepared (read: if you are from the North, you probably think it is just one of those silly Southern things like deep fried pickles; if you are from the South, you ate fried okra at some point in your life with varying extreme reactions.)  It is native to Africa and if you check out its cross-section, it’s in the shape of a pentagon.

There’s only one dish I have ever had with okra that really made me see its potential: bhindi (okra) masala.  I scoured the internet for recipes, took a field trip to an Indian grocery (and nearly lost the liquid from my empty stomach as I saw a whole lamb, legs and all, being hacked up at the butcher) and ended up with something that was pretty phenomenal.

Intense recipe post jump –

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in Recipe / Veggie 12 comments
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Breaking! Padma Lakshmi to Star in Food-Centric Sitcom

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Big news! Variety is reporting that Top Chef host/ES mascot Padma Lakshmi is going to be flexing her funny bone in an upcoming half-hour sitcom currently in development at NBC:

Building on her “Top Chef” credentials, the show will star Lakshmi as a woman working in the culinary world. (One possible title being mulled: “Single Serving.”)

Variety notes that Padma wouldn’t be the first cheflebrity to try turning basic cable fame into sitcom stardom. But she would be the first to succeed…

Despite the popularity of food-centric TV, attempts to translate it into sitcom form have been mixed. Fox’s “Kitchen Confidential,” based on Anthony Bourdain’s book, was critically acclaimed but short-lived. And NBC’s move to turn Emeril Lagasse into a comedy star fell flat.

What do you think, ESers? Does Padma have the comedy chops to break the chef-com curse? And will you tune in to watch Single Serving, Padma and the City, the Padma Chronicles, or whatever they end up calling it? And what time should we start live-blogging?

in Celebs / TV 6 comments
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Feeling Good About Creaminess

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I’ve only started liking yogurt in the last year, but now I can’t get enough: smoothies, dips,  soups. I go to yogurt in a pinch because it adds flavor and consistency, yet can easily adapt to a multitude of culinary situations: it can be sweetened with fruit or it can turn spicy with curry.

And then it can turn into a sauce. Ish.

The PR folks for Lifeway Kefir emailed Endless Simmer about its “healthy, nourishing, drink/yogurt shake.” I had absolutely no idea what it was about, but decided to give it a try. I already know I can’t dig the supermarket yogurt, but figured trying this “staple in much of Europe ” would be fun. Who am I to deny free samples of something that could potentially be a new healthy addiction? (And PS, Maids, this is apparently a legit alternative for the lactards, “The cultures in Lifeway Kefir alleviate the unpleasant side effects that can be associated with milk consumption, even in people who are lactose intolerant.”)

It was one of those fridge clearing nights, especially because I received NINE bottles of Kefir (3 plain, 3 strawberry, 3 vanilla) and really needed to start experimenting. I wasn’t sure how milk-like it was going to be, so I had 80 (milk drinker) take the first sip. Upon the pour I knew he would hate it: Kefir is super thick and I could smell the tang from a foot above.

He grimaced. I gloated.

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in Recipe / Veggie 9 comments
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Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

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– belmontmedina adds an interesting spin to Harvey Wallbanger Cake, which is apparently everyone’s grandparent’s favorite dessert recipe:

This is my grandfather’s signature cake- he makes it every year for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter. However, I have to say- try and hunt down orange cake mix- it makes it even better.

– You guys came through with plenty of Easy Drinkin’ recipes of your own. We’re partial to this recipe from Adam:

Redneck punch

Six pack of crappy, American light beer. Coors or Bud are my preferred brands.
1 can of frozen, concentrated lime aid.
1 pint of vodka

Mix and serve.

Delicious, refreshing, and bound to get you drunk quickly.

–  We got some good guesses as to what the eff this uni-tasker is. Amelia of Gradually Greener:

It looks like it would be used to scoop something that was very viscous, like gelato. Or lard! Something where using a regular scoop would fail to un-stick the scooped portion from what was around it.

Vanessa:

I think it looks like the tool used to take the bone out of prosciutto… nowadays it is done with a long, curved tool with a knife-like handle, but I think I remember something like that from my grandpa’s toolbox…

Summer:

It’s hard to tell what it could be used for without any reference to show how big it is. Nonetheless, I’m going to guess “brain scoop.” Mmm, brains….

(Photo: Obviously we couldn’t pass up cupcakequeen’s Harvey Wallbanger, orange cake mix cupcakes)

in Desserts / Drinks 1 comments
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Friday Fuck Up: Strawberry Jammed

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Today’s F-UP comes from from Mandie, author of wtf jk lol, my former roommate and berry picking partner. We had our first college apartment together, fucked up a lot of food, but neither of us wanted to publicize our failures. Until now.

After I explained I had no idea what to do with all that fruit (and, ahem, ES readers said jam was so easy), Mandie decided to take the challenge and make jam.

The last time Mandie attempted jam, it was watery and she ended up having to remove it from the jars to recook it (big pain in the ass). So to avoid that fiasco, she cooked this batch a little longer. Sounds like a good plan, right?

Unfortunately, this second attempt ended up being “the consistency of those weird gel candles.” The fruity substance, seen above, was impossible to extract from the jars without some force and creative methods. Certainly not spreadable.

Can we get a little help, ESers? Where did she go wrong? What’s the secret to making jam look like jam?

in Personal 3 comments
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Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Welcome to the Rock

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Let me start off by making something perfectly clear:  I don’t give a rat’s ass who wins on any reality competition show.  For the most part, I think the contestants on these shows are the equivalent of tissues — made to be used and discarded as quickly as possible.  I don’t find these people in the least bit interesting and if your most impressive “skill” is your ability to get chosen to appear on American Idol, or that sewing show that used to be on Bravo, I have no interest in following your exploits after the season is over, even if you are the big winner.

And although I pretty much feel this way about Top Chef Masters, I’d say I only have about 99% apathy.  Why?  Because I totally want Hubert Keller to win this thing.

Two reasons:

  1. He’s a PBS show host and I always like seeing those guys get props.
  2. He looks exactly like Sean Connery at about the 14 minute mark in The Rock.  After he washes off the prison grime but before getting the full make-over by the barber.

I figure this as good an excuse as any to root for him.  Oh…brainstorm!  We need a Michael Bay-directed food movie.  Given his love of fire and slow-motion, that is going to be one AWESOME crème brûlée scene.

Enough silliness…on to the smörg.

– I pray to you, oh Flying Spaghetti Monster, let there be a reality show involved:  Human Train Wrecks Rocco DiSpirito and Jeffrey Chodorow could hook up again?

– How can you tell that a controversial issue is reaching the mainstream?  Shaq tweets about it.  Er, I mean:  When the folks in the industry embrace it.  Chipotle will be screening Food, Inc. at locations around the country.

After the jump…the vocal stylings of Mr. Mario Batali, a link to a story that includes the words “Giada” and “testicles,” and confirmation that Food Network and a former Olympian are completely in on the joke.

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in Celebs / TV 3 comments
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