Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Welcome to the Rock


Let me start off by making something perfectly clear:  I don’t give a rat’s ass who wins on any reality competition show.  For the most part, I think the contestants on these shows are the equivalent of tissues — made to be used and discarded as quickly as possible.  I don’t find these people in the least bit interesting and if your most impressive “skill” is your ability to get chosen to appear on American Idol, or that sewing show that used to be on Bravo, I have no interest in following your exploits after the season is over, even if you are the big winner.

And although I pretty much feel this way about Top Chef Masters, I’d say I only have about 99% apathy.  Why?  Because I totally want Hubert Keller to win this thing.

Two reasons:

  1. He’s a PBS show host and I always like seeing those guys get props.
  2. He looks exactly like Sean Connery at about the 14 minute mark in The Rock.  After he washes off the prison grime but before getting the full make-over by the barber.

I figure this as good an excuse as any to root for him.  Oh…brainstorm!  We need a Michael Bay-directed food movie.  Given his love of fire and slow-motion, that is going to be one AWESOME crème brûlée scene.

Enough silliness…on to the smörg.

– I pray to you, oh Flying Spaghetti Monster, let there be a reality show involved:  Human Train Wrecks Rocco DiSpirito and Jeffrey Chodorow could hook up again?

– How can you tell that a controversial issue is reaching the mainstream?  Shaq tweets about it.  Er, I mean:  When the folks in the industry embrace it.  Chipotle will be screening Food, Inc. at locations around the country.

After the jump…the vocal stylings of Mr. Mario Batali, a link to a story that includes the words “Giada” and “testicles,” and confirmation that Food Network and a former Olympian are completely in on the joke.

Mario Batali will reportedly provide the voice of a rabbit in an upcoming animated film.  Hmm…I’m pretty sure I saw a recipe for rabbit in his cookbook.  This would mark the first time an actor has eaten his animated character since Matthew Broderick stalked and killed a lion with his bare hands.

– Finally, science is put to good use!  A statistical analysis of the inverse correlation between a food show host’s attractiveness and his or her willingness to eat wang on camera.  Yeah, I miss grad school.

– We got a little chuckle out of the creative title that Food Network cooked up for their new show, What Would Brian Boitano Make?, which premiers August 23rd.  A look at the banner on the show’s page indicates that they’re not bashful about referencing the original joke.  Somewhere, Matt and Trey are smiling at the homage.  Or maybe calling their lawyer.

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  • gansie July 16, 2009  

    bravo for your usage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

  • Caleb July 16, 2009  

    I found your food blog going through a few links. Glad I ran into it. Didn’t know that the food blog/recipe community was so big online. I love your posts!

    I was wondering if you would like to exchange links. I’ll drop yours on my site and you drop mine on yours. Email at or stop by my site and drop a comment. Let me know if you would like to do a link exchange.


  • Mariah Carey July 17, 2009  

    Hubert is actually an awesome boss. My brother worked for him in SF when he was (somewhat) just starting his culinary career. He worked along side his staff on the line every night and wasn’t an ego-maniac, as many other of the greats are. His sous chef, on the other hand, is a miserable human.

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