Yes, Those are Grill Marks on My Pizza

eggplant, green pepper, onion, kalamata, cheddar, roasted chili garlic sauce on the left.  eggplant, roasted red pepper, kalamata, salami, mozz, a bit of pesto on the right.  something like that.

Above, left: eggplant, green pepper, onion, kalamata, cheddar, roasted chili garlic sauce. Above, right: eggplant, roasted red pepper, kalamata, salami, mozz, a bit of pesto. Or something like that.

And yes I started this post in April and am just finishing it now.

I hate writing, always have.  Even hated long division in elementary school.  I’ve got to figure out a way to post faster so I’m not absent from this fabulous blog for years at a time!

I have to tell you folks about this now that summer veggies abound; I can’t wait any longer.  I’ll be brief with my words, and just post a bunch of subpar pics.  Can someone teach me how to make pretty pictures with my camera?  80P perhaps?  This summer?

This is so easy and so delicious.  You know you want to learn to make grilled pizza after the jump.

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Top Chef Masters: Episode 6

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Left to Right: Jonathan Waxman, Michael Cimarusti, Art Smith, Roy Yamaguchi

Well, the producers have been holding out on us all season, but just when it looked like the 6th and final round of TCM was going to be the most civil, respect-fest episode yet to air, we finally, finally get a little competitive dickishness. Thank god.

I have come to realize that shows like Top Chef need the assholes and backstabbers to a limited degree, much like college basketball needs the NCAA Tournament bracket system. You pay attention to the events because you love to subject, but if you don’t have someone to pull for, sometimes you just don’t give a damn how the game plays out. I know I wouldn’t pay attention to half of the NCAA teams (looking at you Sunbelt division) if I didn’t have money on a team on my braket list. With Top Chef, I want to take a side, I want to see my favorite win, and more importantly, I want to see the least favorite suffer brutal defeat.

Now I’m sure the producers helped craft this little drama leaving selective tidbits on the cutting room floor, but last night you had Old Pappa Bear Waxman strategically fuck over his main competitor/protoge Cimarusti. But lets back up to the Quickfire challenge before we get ahead of ourselves.

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SOS Zucchini Boats to the Rescue

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I hope everyone has read Westcoast‘s fantastic okra-starring dish, Bhindi Masala with Whole Wheat Dill and Garlic Parathas. And I’m sorry you all could only *read* about it. The day after he made it we met for lunch. He brought his Indian okra leftovers and I brought my Kefir Parsley Pesto with Zucchini, Peas and Udon Noodles leftovers.

He totally fucking won. Especially because the udon noodles sucked up all of the moisture from the veggies and the sauce and, well, it was really bland compared to his spice-heavy mixture.

As we were packing up lunch, he flippantly said he’d be tossing what we hadn’t finished. I clearly was having none of that! I took home some of the masala, one of the parathas and the dill-ed yogurt mixture. But there wasn’t enough for a full meal, which to me is a perfect excuse for some kitchen creativity.

Luckily, it was Monday and I caught Kim O’Donnel’s Meatless Monday post on her new blog, Licking Your Chops, on the site True/Slant. Okay, enough with the plugging for the great KOD.

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Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Unfathomable Sadness

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Friends. There will be no Smörgåsbord today. I just can’t be frivolous on the day that we lost Gidget, who played — nay, embodied — the Taco Bell Chihuahua in print and on film.  Raise your chalupas high, Endless Simmer Nation, in a salute to this legend of fast food marketing.

Feel free to relive the joy and laughter that Gidget brought us by vising the Taco Bell Chihuahua Wikipedia page or by watching some guy blow the shit out of a stuffed animal version of the dog with a firecracker.

I think I can safely say that this is how Gidget would have wanted to be remembered:  Being slowly consumed by flames and then exploding in a large fireball.

Beer and Cereal — Together at Last?

beer and cereal

Unlike gansie, I’m a serious lover of cereal. Like gansie, I’m also a pretty big fan of beer. Unfortunately, societal norms prevent me from pouring beer over my breakfast cereal. But I still haven’t given up on finding a way to unite these two favored food groups of mine. So I was pretty intrigued when I stumbled upon this post over at Accidental Hedonist:

I’ve either been reading way too much beer research of late, or there has to be a workable beer recipe found in the cereal aisle of your local grocery store.

In perusing the ingredient list of a box of Grape Nuts cereal, I read the following:

Whole grain wheat flour, wheat flour, malted barley flour, salt, dried yeast, soy lecithin

So, am I crazy, or is there a basic beer ingredient list in here?

Beer from cereal? Is it really possible? Because if so, I may have found my new calling in life: home-brewing batches of rice krispies beer, cinnamon toast crunch beer, and fruit loops beer.

Let’s hear from all you amateur brewers. Is cereal-brew the wave of the future? Or a sad bachelor’s pipe dream? And what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever tossed in a home brew?

(Photo: Slightlynorth)

Green Tea & Almond Cupcakes

matcha redeemed
The ancient Japanese cupcake ceremony.

(Author’s note: this is my last cupcake post for a while; I’m being sent to India for a work assignment next week, and baking is not in the equation. Watch this space, however; there may very well appear some one-off features on the challenges and oddities of an expatriate trying to eat in the Asian subcontinent.)

Last week I received some sample packets of matcha from Matcha Source. Matcha is traditional Japanese green tea powder, and I’ve wanted to use it in cupcakes for awhile now, but its relatively pricey price in America has so far discouraged me. It’s not that I’m a tea snob; on the contrary, I enjoy a nice cuppa. Black teas provide a gentler morning “lift” as opposed to coffee’s caffeine bitch-slap, regular bagged green teas are excellent for detoxing, (Yamamotoyama’s genmai-cha is a personal favorite) and Mighty Leaf makes a nice camomille blend that doesn’t taste too much like soap.

Fun fact: herbal teas aren’t technically teas at all since most of them contain botanicals and aromatics and no real tea leaves.

Matcha, however, is something altogether different. Steamed and dried, green tea leaves are then stone ground over and over again until a fine, silky powder is produced. Since matcha is mixed directly with water and not steeped, you consume the tea leaf itself, which makes for a very heady, earthy, albeit bitter, brew.

matcha 02
There wasn’t even enough of Dr. Manhattan’s remains to bury after Ozymandias got through with him.

As for the cupcakes, if you take any lesson away from reading this today, it’s this: recipes are written down for a reason. What that reason is varies from cook to cook, but for the most part, it’s to provide a proven, documented legacy of culinary functionality for anyone who comes after that initial session in the kitchen. That said, I’m a person who likes to experiment with recipes, to tweak little things here and there, take something out and add something else, to make the dish my own and create my own legacy. There’s supposedly an unwritten rule among amateur cooks that states you can claim an established recipe as your own creation if you change at least three things about it, which has been the case for most of the cupcakes I’ve posted here during my tenure at ES.

But, as we all know, baking recipes are different than just mucking with a recipe for borscht or noodle soup or green bean casserole. Tweak something the wrong way, and you get a Friday Fuck Up that doesn’t care what day of the week it is.

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