Meat Eaters Need Not Apply

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I know ES has been heavy on the veggie/vegan train lately (I promise, we’ll get back to our red meat and pig roots) but I couldn’t not post about this redic job requirement: vegetarianism.

San Francisco video-game company, Bigfoot Inc, published this internship description

A vegetarian-owned and managed emerging sports games startup in San Francisco is looking to hire vegetarian software development interns for summer 2008 (and potentially beyond) who are interested in entrepreneurship and promoting vegetarianism.

And as my full-time job demands I promote diversity in the workplace, I cannot advocate for an entire staff full of non-meat eaters.

Quotas can be a good thing.

Who Cooked It Better? Veggie Burger Battle Royale

Last week’s Who Cooked It Better aroused quite the display of passion in you folks, finally giving America’s pissed-off vegans a chance to vent their frustrations against that scourge of vegans everywhere, Anthony Bourdain. This was Endless Simmer’s most popular poll to date, and with 800 of you weighing in, Hezbollah Tofu crushed Anthony Bourdain, 83 to 17 percent. Many congrats to HT on a truly winning original recipe.

In a shameless ploy to hold on to our newly expanded vegan readership base, we’re continuing with the “hold the bacon” theme for this week’s Who Cooked It Better, a search for the ultimate veggie burger. But before you meat-lovers tune out, let’s remember that grillin’ season is just around the corner, and if you expect to keep your veggie friends around for the summer, you better have a good faux-burger recipe. And don’t say, “Oh, I already know about Boca Burgers,” because when your vegan friends respond “that’s so considerate of you to think of me,” what they really mean is “Great. I can’t wait to eat this same store-bought patty every weekend for the rest of the summer. By the way, I’m a vegan and this has cheese in it.”

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Seeing as how veggie burgers are kind of an anti-establishment thing anyway, we decided to go all-blogger for this challenge. Our first cheftestant is Swell Vegan, whose tasty-looking seitan burger (top left) is accented with chopped sesame seeds, red pepper and carrots. In a twist that could have you choosing this over steak at your next BBQ, Swell Vegan mixes chimichurri sauce into the veggie patty, and tops it off with more of this savory green stuff, along with tomato, onion, and tofutti cheese. SV says the recipe is still a work in progress, but this one already looks like a winner.

Moving to the top right, Eat Air is hoping to take down yet another meat-worshiping TV star with their veganized version of Paula Deen’s Big Mike Burger. The Big V replaces Paula’s butter burger/pecan burger double patty with an amped up seitan burger that includes shittake mushrooms and vegan cheese, along with a tempeh-pecan patty complete with maple syrup and liquid smoke (!) Complete directions here.

On the bottom right corner is a beautiful pic from 101 Cookbooks, whose use of eggs may turn off you vegan voters, but these garbanzo bean-cilantro-sprout burgers are so tasty looking we had to include them. Most originally, 101 C loses the bread buns altogether and uses her two patties as the buns, filling the inside with avocado slices, cipollini onions, and more. Full recipe over at 101 Cookbooks.

In the bottom-left corner is a great-looking burger from The Accidental Vegetarian, which looks most like a real burger of anything we could find, even though instead of fake meat, the AV goes for a mix of eggplant, zucchini, onion and garlic, kicked up a notch with an inventive almond paste concoction. Full recipe here.

Your votes and thoughts please…

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ps – did we miss any of the best? Let us know!

Bourdain Meats His Match?

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Wow. I have to admit this comes as somewhat of a shock. Your Eater of the Year and Tastiest Man-Chef, Anthony Bourdain, is currently getting his ass grilled by a bunch of vegans.

In our second Who Cooked It Better? contest, Bourdian is losing to Hezbollah Tofu by 70 percent to 30 percent. It’s not over yet, but unless Bourdain can pull a Hillary and change up the rules in the middle of the game, that margin is gonna be awfully hard to overcome.

Voting continues through Monday at Midnight.

Check out the original post here

[poll id=”8″]

Who Cooked It Better? Tony Bourdain vs. Hezbollah Tofu

anthony_bourdain-cc.jpghezbollah-tofu.jpgIn last week’s Who Cooked It Better?, Giada De Laurentiis put some serious smackdown on Rachael Ray. With more than 340 of you weighing in, Giada’s prosciutto-wrapped scallops are preferred to Rachael Ray’s by a whopping 86% to 14% margin.

Speaking of RayRay, she may be on the market for a new nemesis, because her frequent sparing partner, Mr. Anthony Bourdain, has a powerful new enemy.

You may remember that Bourdain earned the ire of the vegetarian/vegan community with this quote:

“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.”

Well the folks over at the new Hezbollah Tofu blog are putting their money where their morals are. They’re cooking their way through Bourdain’s classic Les Halles Cookbook, in an attempt to prove that his fatty, meat-y, extra cheesy recipes can be just as tasty sans the animal products. Hezbollah Tofu’s first challenge is one of the Les Halles mainstays: French onion soup.

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Bourdain’s version, on the left, starts with a meat-heavy broth that calls for both chicken stock and bacon. Complicating life for the vegans is a whopping six ounces of butter. This delectable mess is topped with crispy baguette croutons and grated Gruyere cheese. (Real, imported, Gruyere, obv.) If that’s not enough food snobbery for you, the recipe calls for a Bouquet Garni (that’s chef-speak for parsley, thyme and bay leaf). Complete recipe here.

It obviously won’t be easy for Hezbollah Tofu to top Tony B’s gooey bowl of goodness, but she gets downright creative on Bourdain’s ass, losing the bacon and subbing in black trumpet mushrooms blanched in a sherry/vegetable stock mixture. And this is no bland, tofu-based fake cheese – tahini, nutritional yeast, lemon juice and more go into this delicate un-cheese. In a final attempt to out-fancy Bourdian, the vegan FOS is topped with toasted almonds. Complete recipe here.

So, dear readers…
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Photos: Chowhound, Hezbollah Tofu.

ES Op Ed: To Veg or Not to Veg

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Editors Note: ES first heard of Evo Diva through my journey to another world, but I’ve known she’s been a food enthusiast for much longer. Enjoy her peer-reviewed rant.

As a non-evangelical tree hugger, I feel a quiet sense of responsibility to convert to vegetarianism. After all, over half of the water and over 70% of the agricultural production in the U.S. is put toward raising livestock. As with most things, America’s consumption has gotten out of control. Besides, cows are just so damn cute – what did they ever do to deserve the slaughterhouse?

However, as an evolutionary biologist, I know that our species is not at its supreme fitness when sustained on a diet lacking in animals. If veggies don’t do their homework, they might not be getting essential B12 and D vitamins that are easily obtained from meat. Vitamin D is important for calcium absorption and strong bones. B12 is important in proper brain function. Other studies have shown that infants nursing from vegan mothers will not develop properly. Our ancestors might have subsisted on fruits and nuts, but our species evolved on the motto: “Variety is the spice of life.” While our teeth structure still is best suited for fruits, our most striking difference from other animals is our brain size. Along with B12, protein is essential for neurological development. A likely scenario is that our ancestors were obtaining new sources of protein in animal food options and were able to grow larger brains.

So what’s a hippie like me supposed to do? While true vegetarians agree that going halfway doesn’t count, I would argue that it is my only option. Choosing cage-free eggs, free range meat, and eating vegetarian 4-5 days of the week is my way of reconciling this inner conflict and pissing off people on both sides of the fence.

You’re a Vegan who Can’t Drive

Once-famous actress Alicia Silverstone is trying to succeed where heart doctors and Yom Kippur have failed – convincing Americans to stop eating Bacon.

Her controversial new ad promoting the veggie lifestyle is below, and probably NSFW. If you’re not web-savvy, that means she’s naked.

That’s great and all, batgirl, but I don’t think I’m going to put down the pork-covered popcorn.

Update: They won’t let us embed, but here’s the vid on YouTube.

Cupcakes on the Attack

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Our friend Matt points us to the extremely tasty hex conduction hour blog, where a friend of his is working through the recipes in Isa Chandra Moscowitz’s “Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.”

We’re up for any blog that offers post-punk puns alongside pics of “golden vanilla cupcakes with vegan fluffy buttercream frosting and chocolate buttercream frosting.”

I’ve been trying to post this for some time now, but I keep drooling on my keyboard.

[hex conduction hour]

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