Ramping Up for a Season of Gush

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Picture me with my arms stretched out, my fingers in jazz-hands positioning, and gushing about lily pad perfect bibb lettuce, three feet tall scallion stalks and a fresh loaf of spelt bread. It’s farmers’ market season, boys, girls and those who identify otherwise.

It’s ON.

It’s so on that I actually openly gush to the vendors. When I’m stammering half out loud, half to my market friend westcoast and, and well, if there three halves, half in my head, about how I’m just so very excited to be outside, browsing fresh produce and even fresher mozzarella cheese. How is it possible that the creamy white pillows resting in water can be called the same name as the shredded, plastic bag dwelling yellow cheese? Tell me, because fucks if I know. Or the cheese producer that I asked as I closed my eyes and let his version of motz float down my throat.

My first visit to the Silver Spring market yielded my first go at ramps. They are part of the onion family, look more like scallions than regular onions, but are tiny and leafy and expensive. Of course westcoast and I bought three bundles. After the market he came over and we scrambled together sauteed ramps in my newly purchased European-style butter, and scrambled in farm fresh eggs and feta. And I think chives too. I don’t know. After my high from the market my hangover took over and the details of the cooking are sketchy.

But I still had a bundle of ramps left a week later, and with wilting on its way, I had to act quick…

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Hummus That’s Not Ho-Hum

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About a year ago, I found out about Sabra hummus. My life has never been the same since.

I don’t know how I missed this product for my first 26.5 years, but somehow it just slipped under my radar. I’d dipped the Tribe, the Athenos stuff, and all the others, but somehow this particular brand just never crossed my path. But one dip in and I was hooked. So rich, so creamy, so fresh-tasting: for me Sabra stands heads, shoulders, knees and toes above the rest of the hummuses (hummusi?) Plus, they have versions that come with chopped red peppers, garlic, or pine nuts on top (although not enough pine nuts, if you ask me). Nevertheless, hummus instantly went from something I would try at a party if there was a good dipping vehicle, to something that is an perpetual presence in my fridge (except for when I eat the whole container in one sitting).

I realize this sounds like an advertisement, but I swear it’s not. My purpose isn’t to convert everyone to Sabra, but rather to rant about why the hell every other hummus can’t taste this good. I’ve been on a bit of a hummus-making kick myself lately, thanks to a few lessons from my Dad and Gansie (but not DAD GANSIE). I just food process chickpeas + tahini + lemon + garlic + olive oil + salt + pepper, and pine nuts if I’ve got them on hand (hey, it’s the recession). The result is always good, but never Sabra good. Seriously, what do these bastards put in their damn hummus to make it so tasty? And why can’t I recreate it at home? Being a good investigative reporter, I went straight to the source:

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The Culinary Fruits of America’s Next Top Model

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Since I know she’s going to call me out, I’ll just say it up front: I absolutely stole this spice combination from Maids. In between our snarky commentary during an America’s Next Top Model marathon, Maids gave me the low-down on her recent okra dish. Intrigued by her usage of caraway seeds  — rye bread is my favorite — plus coriander seeds and cumin, I quickly figured out how to incorporate it into my staple food combination: avocado and feta.

Back to ANTM, I also was totally into Kahlen – love the dimples and the blonde hair. Totally sucker for a skinny, tall blonde. But I also love a girl I can’t wrap my head around. Naima totally works it. She’s gorgeous, fierce, sick body, sweet, beautiful.

Anyway, back to food.

Caraway, Coriander and Cumin Sandwich (plus more than spices)

In a dry pan, toast caraway seeds, coriander seeds, cumin seeds (Maids used ground cumin), pine nuts, salt and pepper.  Now, I have no idea if it mattered whether or not I added in the s&p, but I was just in a spicing mood and threw them in. When the pine nuts turned brown and the seeds were fragrant, I removed them from the pan and then added in chickpeas. While they were heating up and browning in spots, I smashed together half an avocado, feta and the spice mixture; cut a few slices of cucumber; warmed up a whole wheat pita. When the chickpeas were ready I mixed them in with the avocado mixture and filled the pita.

After thoughts: I think the coriander seed was a little much in that sandwich, not the flavor but the texture. I’m thinking next time after toasting, I’ll mortar and pestle that mixture to break down the seeds.

What Is Cream Cheese?

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gansie: i just cant get into my blog post
i didnt love the dinner
so im just not that juiced
it was good
but not that amazing
BS: whats it about
gansie: the dish was couscous with a onion-parsnipred wine puree with butternut squash and pine nuts
BS: this is something you made?
sounds good
gansie
: yea
i just dont like couscous very much
i think thats what it is
it was the israeli kind
kinda gummy?
but i was proud of the red wine insertion
i was just planning on caramelizing them but then i was like – fuck it – i have a bottle of red wine open, might as well use it
BS: yeah i love adding wine to shit
my question is always whether its wrong to open a bottle just for that
gansie: so it did make it this kinda cool/eerie light purple
hmm, i mean, you’ll drink it eventually, right?
BS: yeah
gansie: have you ever worked w/ parsnips before
BS: nah
gansie: to me – they were just so vegetale tasting
too earthy
after i pureed them w/ the red wine onions (salt/pepper) i added in some butter
but i dont think it was enough
i really wanted to puree in some cream cheese
but 80P gave me a – what the fuck NO face
so i didnt
BS:  you should have!
how could cream cheese go wrong
gansie:  i know
!
next time…

Adventures in Cheesemaking

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Anyone who has been following ES on twitter, or even just talked to me in real life these past few weeks, is aware that I’ve become obsessed with cheesemaking.

Well, in truth it’s been a more-talk, less-action kind of obsession, but I’ve decided I’m really into it ever since I saw a guy making fresh mozzarella at Fairway a few weeks back. He was shaping it in a metal bowl, then wrapping it up in plastic and it was warm when you bought it. This was one of those eye-opening, food-changing experiences for me, as I’d never really thought of cheese as something you could just make from milk as opposed to a food that grows on a magical cow-tree somewhere high on a hilltop in France or Italy.

So when I saw this super-simple recipe for ricotta in Bon Appetit (only three ingredients!), I had to try it. I picked up a cheesecloth at a local greenmarket (basically a glorified paper towel, it only costs a few bucks), and I was ready to cheese. Two words of warning:

1- Cheesemaking, like sausagemaking, is not for the faint of heart. With all the curdling and separating and whatnot, it gets a little gross-looking. I was doing this myself, so my photos are not highly stylized, but you’ll see how it really looks, warts and all.

2- It’s also not for those with heart problems.  As with making ice cream, there’s the whole problem of realizing how much fat actually goes into making a tiny little slice of cheese. A half-gallon of milk only makes one-and-a-half cups of ricotta. Kinda intense.

If you’re still feeling brave, read on…

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Take Olive Me

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I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this on ES before, but I went through a long, torturous process before I was able to like olives. You see, I was a picky eater as a kid (I didn’t like meat or vegetables), but have slowly grown into the food-obsessed person you know and love, eager to eat anything and everything. I take an undue amount of pride in that, so when I dislike something, I get really ashamed of it.

So a few years ago, olives were left as one of the only mainstream foods left that I didn’t like, but I kept convincing myself that I had to, and that my taste buds were still just maturing. So I went about it slowly but surely, first adding bland ones to salads and pizzas, then getting more into strongly-tasting olives, until today, when I could eat an entire jar, down a dirty martini, and put olives on anything.

Back to the point—for our big family Christmas, I was assigned dips. I wanted to do something new, and stumbled upon the idea of doing an olive tapenade type thing. Like the best dips, it’s super easy and people are unduly impressed by it. For Christmas, I made a green olive-red pepper-red onion dip. I found the onions didn’t really add that much to it, so for New Years, I revisited it and replaced the onions with pine nuts. So, the following recipe is basically just a slightly blended mix of my four favorite foods:  Roasted red peppers, pine nuts, olives, and garlic. Don’t know why I never thought of this before. You just have to pulse everything in the food processor a couple of times–there’s no work at all–it’s almost Sandra Lee-ish

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Blades of Frustration

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I totally need a food processor.  Now, a few years back, when I was *just* starting to cook, one of my mom’s friends bought me a beautiful Cuisinart.  Well, that was 3 apartments ago and 3 roommates ago, so um, yea, the Cuisinart is in pieces.  I currently possess most of the main components—except for the blades.  UGH!  I’d kill to be more responsible.

I’ve had to make do with a blender and an immersion blender.  And it really hasn’t been that bad.  I’ve been able to make soups and sauces with much success.  But, um, not this go round.  If you haven’t noticed, I’m really into KOD’s “Meatless Monday” feature and with about-to-go-bad kale, I took her up on kale pesto.  It’s very similar to regular pesto, she just subs in walnuts for pine nuts, and well, kale for basil.  I had pine nuts on hand, so I used that.  My other spins on the dish: yogurt and sage.

Well, apparently my blender had ENOUGH.  It just refused to blend.  I must have tried every combination of low and high and grate and pulse and chop and puree.  But, nothing.  Wouldn’t budge.

80, feeling heroic, tried to put together my food processor, which an old roommate brought over a few months back.  This is when we discovered there were no blades.

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