Who Wants Some Man Meat?


The Situation

When I started dating my boyfriend back in July, he mentioned he and his friends have this New Year’s Eve tradition of getting together and cooking “exotic” meats. I ignored this story at first because I assumed he 1) wouldn’t be around in December and 2) wouldn’t invite me. Somehow, it turns out he is still around and invited me. This can’t be my life?

At about 2pm on New Year’s Eve, the man gchatted me and told me he was in charge of cooking the meats, so we’d have to come up with recipes in a few hours’ time with limited ingredients since ALL STORES WERE CLOSED BY THE TIME THEY DECIDED TO THINK ABOUT RECIPES. Well, not really, but I was in my robe and had just painted my nails and wasn’t planning on leaving the house until the stores were closed. I sent out an SOS on Twitter and madly googled for some reliable sources.

The meats:
Ground ostrich, 1lb
Caribou steaks, 2lbs
Alligator filets, 2lbs

8 Tips for Cooking Game Meat

1) Cook game like a similarly textured meat.
This is a little obvious, isn’t it? Try to cook the meat like another similar meat you already know how to cook. The results might not be perfect the first time, but it will probably be damn good.

2) Drink more.
This cuts back on the nervousness and lets the creative meat juices flow.

3) Taste often.
If you’re drinking before dinner, you should probably eat something. Why not taste the meat you’re cooking? This lets you know if it tastes like shit and whether or not you have to proceed with step #4.

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The McRib is McBack


It’s back. The iconic spare-rib shaped sandwich from McDonald’s. I was but a twinkle in my father’s eye the first time the McRib surfaced, so I never got around to eating one, and I’ve never been so inclined as to cross state lines just to find it.

It’s been almost four years since my last McDonald’s fine, two years since I got drunk and ate McDonald’s. I’m not sure why McD’s became the victim of my boycott, but I have always thought of it as the epitome of fast food. For some reason I feel less guilty when eating Burger King or a late night slice of pizza.

But for the purposes of research alone, I broke my “fast food” boycott and took a bite into the elusive McRib, which McD’s has brought back by popular demand for a special six-week, nation-wide run, now through December 5. Continue reading to see what I have to say.

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Roid Rage


This country’s Jersey Shore obsession must be stopped!! Anyone paying attention the past few months knows that the Situation is getting out of control, and now comes word that soon even our fish will be JUICED! Yes, recently the FDA approved the genetic engineering of salmon for human consumption.

This announcement seems to be gathering a lot of attention here on the interwebs and among some special interest groups, but it has been mainly a blip in the realm of traditional media.  Here is a quick recap:

A company has figured out a way to have their salmon produce growth hormones year-round, rather than stop in the colder months as naturally happens. Essentially, they have figured out how to “juice” our fish. (It’s funny because when we found out baseball players were doing this, Congress held a hearing, but with our food, the FDA gave it two thumbs up.) The resulting fish grow much bigger in a shorter period of time, are more aggressive and the majority of them are sterile (you can see why the Jersey Shore reference popped into my head right?)

This news is about more than just salmon.

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Bunny Bourguignon


When it comes to ingredients, I like them fresh and ready to use. For a while now I’ve been wanting to cook rabbit, and after tasting Birch & Barley‘s rabbit gnocchi, I knew it was time I tried to cook the hoppy little guy.

Finding rabbit isn’t easy. It’s not just something you can pick up at Safeway or Whole Foods. Instead, I turned to one of DC’s many weekday farmers’ markets. I took a late lunch one Thursday afternoon and headed out to the White House Farmers Market where I found Garden Path Farm and their one “rabbit” left.

This is where it gets interesting.

At a little over 2 pounds, I assumed the vacuum-packed rabbit was meat, just meat, and I could cube and make a tasty Bunny Bourguignon. How was I wrong!

Continue reading to see what happened, but be warned, the following photos are not for the squeamish.

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The Search Continues: Bulk Bin #3387

Various Grains

The grains from bulk bin #3387 are about to be shown Who Is Boss. I’m tired of #3387 mocking me as I push past it to reach for properly labeled grains. I will figure out what the fuck this grain is and use that entire bag in one sitting. So. There.

In case you are wondering what I’m talking about, last week I pleaded for someone to come forward and name this unmarked grain I had sitting in my cabinet. To recap…

We had a few guesses:

NeeNee: really short grain brown rice or wheat berries
AW: some sort of barley
Maids: yellow dent corn from the Andes. Or Kamut.
dosdos, negged those guesses: I’m pretty sure farro is longer than that. Kamut’s pretty long and narrow. Wheat berries is a good guess but it doesn’t have the line down the middle splitting it in half like a little long booty…. I’m really leaning towards rice.
Danielle: Amaranth?
ajjelibean: Does raw sunflower kernels from Tree of Life sound familiar?

But no one could claim certainty and I have no idea what the Tree of Life is.

Although there were a few other tips. Olga from Mango & Tomato suggested I cook it like brown rice and Brit and westcoast thought I should think just a bit harder where I may have bought the grains to trigger an answer.

My guess is farro because I know that I’ve wanted to try it. But no one thinks that it looks like farro.

Oh well. So here is one last shot. Maids suggested that I show the mystery grain in comparison to other identified grains. See above. Please help.

Who are you bulk bin #3387?!?!

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Bulk Bin #3387

mystery grain

That’s all I got. #3387.

Ever since I cleaned out my fridge before vacation I’ve been on a kind of cleaning kick. It’s in spurts. And tiny spurts at that. But it’s better than my normal.

Yesterday as I searched for a grain for dinner I came across a ton of half empty bags. I’ve recently started saving glass jars. Jars from salsa, capers, tomato sauce, anything really. If I can get the label off after a dishwasher run then it’s a keeper. In a frenzy I whipped out my funnel and poured bags of arborio rice, lentils and quinoa into their own more shelf-stable (I think?) containers.

And that’s where I came across #3387.

I seriously cannot identify that thing.

I know we’ve asked a lot of you this week: what to do with garlic scapes, the best way to eat strawberries and how to get drunk off popsicles, but I really need one last favor.

There’s a jar and a sticky waiting for #3387. Help the grains find their home.


The Search is On: Name that Grain

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