Edible Arrangements for Dudes

thanks bro

While most of you are focused on candy and flowers and all that shit this week, I want to make sure you know about the existence of a much more important gift-giving development: Thanks, Bro—a thank you basket service just for, well…bros.

As gender non-normative as we like to be here at ES, let’s face it: you just can’t send a guy friend a fruit basket. (Aside: this is not true. If anyone wants to send me a fruit basket, I’ll gladly accept. But still.) Enter: Thanks, Bro. The New York-based service, which just went nationwide, allows you to send a thank you gift to a friend consisting of just two things: beer and beef jerky. Your bro gets to pick out what kind of thank-you beer he wants, and with the jerky you can either go the high-quality route, sending SlantShack’s Wild Rubdown Jerky, a grassfed North Dakota beef option encased in cayenne and brown sugar, which really brings out the delicate earthy tones of the—DAMNIT I couldn’t stay bro-y even for a minute!—or you can go with the “Fuck You, Bro” package, opting to send a single Slim Jim and s six-pack.

Roadside Dining, Cowboy-Style

When I saw the a sign for Beef Jerky Unlimited off the highway between Detroit and Adrian, MI, I knew we had to stop.  I may be a mostly-vegetarian, but there is something about meat the texture of shoe leather that I am helpless to resist.  When I entered the store, I was not disappointed.

That’s right.  Each of those lovely barrels contained a different flavor of dried meat.  Possibly my favorite part, though, was the store’s slogan:  “We are not a gas station.”

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

Patty H. is lovingly concerned for those peeps in a jar:

Love it! Made me smile, but then, just as I clicked to leave the site, I thought “Oh no, I bet they can’t breath.” So, just wondering about maybe some holes in the lid.

We’ll make sure they’re safe. PS — an ES sneak preview — next week we’ll be featuring different ways to cook with peeps. Have any ideas? Send us your links.

– Hope everyone has made good use of our 100 ways to cook with sriracha post. Michael Birchenall of Foodservice Monthly checks in with a 101st recipe:

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Resist the Jerky at Seattle Farmers’ Markets

If you want to understand a new city don’t go on that dumb duck tour. Instead, find a farmers’ market.

Ask questions of the vendors. Sample local food, it’s better than any other breakfast.

A cheese made in the temperate Pacific Northwest will taste different than a cheese made from cows raised in searing heat. Each state has different rules on selling alcohol, so wine, cider and mead sips can be found at Seattle markets.

You can even find alcohol (although not as much as NyQuil) in the ancient Asian tea, Kombucha.

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The Great Vegetarian Jerky-Off

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Editor’s Note: Our intermittent vegetarian correspondent, Alex, recently took on an epic (and tasty) assignment for ES, with some assistance from her eager crew of med student friends/taste testers.

You learn a lot of important things in medical school, but far and away the most useful skill you attain is the ability to snack like nobody’s business. Studying for finals? Almonds and chocolate-covered espresso beans. Bummed about a quiz? Ice cream and wine. Just a run-of-the-mill study night? Well, technically you’ve already eaten dinner, but popcorn is like basically not food anyway.

Now, being a vegetarian, I had never considered any meaty snacks, but it occurred to me awhile ago that back in my carnivore days, I used to love (LOVE) beef jerky. And heck, they do everything veg now, so it led me to wonder — is there a veg jerky option?

Turns out, yes, holy cow, there are about a zillion. And thus the Great Vegetarian Jerky-Off was born.

Fourteen varieties of faux beef jerky. Several hungry medical students. One night. Some beer.

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The setup was highly organized for impartiality: blind taste test, with ES rep BS serving up the samples (and monitoring for legitimacy). Med students were selected for their snacking prowess, jerky expertise and, um, being my friends. Jerkies were supplied by Vegan Dream, Tasty Eats and Primal Strips. (Tofurky tried to help us out too, but unfortunately nobody in the Upper Valley sells Tofurky Jerky. Sorry Tofurky, we tried.)

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