Chocolate - - Page 8

by Emily

Hunger Games? More Like Full-of-Brownie Games

Fine, I’ll admit it. I totally got into the Hunger Games. In a big way. I figured it was just another trendy teen book so I resisted it forever. I ended up taking it as a plane book, forgot to read it on said plane, got bored a couple weeks ago and decided to skim through the first chapter and see what all the fuss was about… fast-forward to 2am , and I was desperately devouring the last few pages! I just had to know what happened to Katniss and Peeta. Whatever, at least I’m not into Twilight, right?

So when the Hunger Games-themed cookbook came out, I jumped. My two passions in life — food and Hunger Games — together?! Done. (Fine, HG isn’t my passion, but it sure felt like it during that three-hour period when I read it cover-to-cover. KATNISS!) Ahem. Anyway, here we have it, The Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook by Emily Ansara Baines. I think it’s pretty funny how much they’re required to emphasize the “unofficial” aspect.

Alright, so, real talk: this cookbook is really contrived. I will concede that I am a bit older and more experienced in the culinary realm than its target demographic, but some of these recipes are straight-up ridic. We’re talking “Hazelle’s Beaver Stew with Rosemary Potatoes” and “Banquet-Baked Mountain Goat with Artichokes, Tomatoes, and Fresh Herbs” (ingredients: “2 pounds wild goat tenderloin or round steak,” yeah, probably the round steak, I haven’t seen any mountain goat at my farmer’s market lately). Oh, and even “Grilled Tree Rat with Peanut Butter Dipping Sauce.” Seeing as how most of these recipes are pretty simple and made for young cooks to try out, I don’t think suggesting TREE RAT is really the most realistic path to take, Emily Ansara Baines.

Also of note are the cooking suggestions included with each recipe, hilariously entitled “Tips from Your Sponsor.” And, perhaps the best part, a little description under the title of each dish explaining how any recipe, even something as simple as cookies, ties in with Hunger Games. My favorite example:

“A twist on the classic chocolate chip cookie, this cookie is similar to Katniss’s spirit — mostly dark, with patches of light throughout.”

Hahaha, WHAAAAAT. Stop. Just stop. I mean, I know it’s probably hard to fill an entire cookbook, but come on. Anyway, who am I to judge until I’ve at least tested some of these recipes for myself, right? My initial impulse was to make Katniss’ favorite lamb stew (an obvious yet necessary choice) but I didn’t have enough time and wanted to make something before the movie premiere today. I decided on brownies:

by bakersroyale

Booze Bites: Cupcake Pudding Shooters

I’m going to be blunt. You need this. So seriously, get to the store and buy yourself a bottle of Pinnacle Cake Vodka. Can life get better? Yes, I’m sure it can. But in terms of having a low-cal cupcake that can pull double duty as a cocktail — I don’t think so.

Plus, this is an easy-to-make, 20-minute dessert. Do yourself a favor and make a lot, because trust me, they go quickly. To shortcut the time even further, bypass making the chocolate shell and serve these in little shot glasses with wooden spoons and they will look just as fun and festive.

BTW — I’m kinda crazy for the whole line of Pinnacle vodkas, so don’t be surprised if you see a few more boozy bites using their stuff. No, I’m not a pitch person for them. I’m just fascinated by their flavor-infused vodkas — hello, butterscotch, cookie dough, cotton candy, marshmallow and whipped cream.

So after you make this Cupcake Pudding Shooter, come back and see what’s next.

Cupcake Pudding Shooters

in Desserts / Featured / Recipe 47 comments

by Emily

Top 10 Break-Up Foods

For some, Valentine’s Day is a time of magic and romance. For the rest of us, it’s a pain in the ass. I’m not a big proponent of feeling pressured if you’re dating someone, or sorry for yourself if you’re not. Come on, we’re all gonna get laid sooner or later, who cares if it’s on V-Day, right? And most romances end in heartache, so let’s just indulge ourselves and talk about something more realistic than the perfect confections to buy your sweetheart.

Maybe you’re feeling bitter because you got dumped right before Valentine’s Day, maybe you found out through Facebook that your high school lover is engaged, maybe you just realized that every dude on this season of Mtv’s Real World/Road Rules: The Challenge somehow resembles one of your ex-boyfriends. (I mean…hypothetically, of course.) At least there is always food and sweet, sweet alcohol.

Just in time for everyone who is feeling bitter over this “holiday,” we present Endless Simmer’s Top 10 Break-Up Foods.

10. Bananas

I know, we’re starting off with a weird one, but bear with me. For a lot of us, when we’re upset or depressed or convinced we will die alone, sometimes it’s hard to see the point of eating. (If you are in this heartbroken place, don’t worry; in my experience, this unwillingness to stuff your face will pass soon enough.) While you might feel dramatic and slightly excited by the possibility of effortless weight loss, you need something to provide you with energy, or at least keep you from fainting at your desk. I read somewhere that the human body could technically live off bananas. I don’t know if this is actually true, but this “fact” stuck with me, and now whenever I’m depressed and have to force myself to eat, I choke down a banana.

9. Coffee

You might be waking up alone, but at least you have a daybreak companion to look forward to: coffee. If you’re been up until 4am crying, or maybe writing angry emails, or pathetic “I am so lonely without you” texts, it’s gonna be a rough morning. You need to force yourself to get out of bed and face the day somehow. What is the answer? Caffeine, of course. There is something about a sober, steaming mug of black coffee that is bleakly comforting.

8. Pizza

You’re in no mood to cook. Everything is too much effort. Nothing says “I’m lonely and lazy” like some cheap pizza. Plus it’s oily enough to soak up a boozy hangover if you’re been drinking away your sorrows. Whether it’s local delivery, late-night drunken desperation, or a cold slice out of a greasy box you find in the back of the fridge, pizza is a tried-and-true break-up binge classic.

in Cheese / Desserts / Drinks / Featured / Holiday / Lists / Personal / Photos / Red Meat / Top 10 Lists 11 comments

by bakersroyale

Make Way for Fluffertella

Can someone who is allergic to peanut butter really make a good peanut butter anything besides a quick smear between some jelly and bread? Unless my friends and family are all liars, the answer is yes.

I have to rely on them as my taste testers when it comes to peanut butter treats. The last one I made was a Fluffernutter (marshmallows, Reese’s peanut butter cups, chocolate chips and Nutter Butter cookies). Although well received by the majority, it did receive feedback from two people that it was too “peanut buttery.” To correct that, this time I decided to try cutting the strong peanut butter flavor with some Nutella. It worked. The Nutella comes through strong enough to taste, but not so much that it overwhelms the peanut butter. As it turns out my friends actually preferred the Fluffertella Bars over the Fluffernutter Bars.

So if anyone gives this a go, do come back let me know if my friends are lying to me.

Fluffertella Bars

in Desserts / Featured / Recipe 5 comments

by bakersroyale

Fancy Caramel Toffee Shortbread Bars…OK, Fine – Homemade Twix

Let me start by saying, I’m a foodie. And as translated by some, I’ve been accused of being a food snob. My rebuttal is always, “We all have our snobbery.” If food is my worst snobbery I will take it with a glass of wine in one hand a Twinkie in the other.

So how the hell does snobbery play into this post? I’ll tell you. I made this last weekend and called them Caramel & Toffee Shortbread Bars. I was quickly corrected by a room full of 5-16 year olds and adults that these were nothing more than a homemade Twix copycat. And they also accused me of putting a “snobby” foodie title on a simple dessert.

Luckily, it doesn’t pain me to say — they are right. I’m for sure going to be calling these homemade Twix bars going forward —such an easier sell.

in Desserts / Featured / Recipe 7 comments

by Emily

Finally, Easter is Here Again

Check out the massive display currently featured at my local Safeway market:

Okay, American consumerism, I get it. Christmas is over, you need to find the next holiday to shove down our throats. But really, spring is in the air? IS IT? I think not. Plus, what happened to making us feel like shit because Valentine’s Day is coming?! Nope, now we’re just on to Easter? Apparently, April is just around the corner. Better start stocking up on your Cadbury Eggs and Peeps right now.

(To be clear, I love Cadbury Eggs and Peeps, but I categorically refuse to purchase and/or eat them until actual springtime.)

in Desserts / Holiday / Rants & Raves 4 comments

by forkitude

Artsy Photo Of The Day

As truffle hogs can sniff out black truffles that grow in the ground, I can sniff out chocolate and cognac.

in Desserts 0 comments